How to develop a work ethic

LegacyUser

I regularly read PI and have seen quite a few topics where people complain about partners who won’t work. Basically I am that person who won’t work (although single) and I need to/want to change this. I’m hoping for some advice on how to develop that work ethic when it’s something you don’t really have.

I’m currently living on social welfare and have been for quite a while to be honest. Financially I’m fortunate enough to have inherited a house so I live in that rent free. I manage but I most definitely don’t live comfortably. I’m barely scraping by really as the vast majority of my social welfare payments go on bills and debt repayments. Debt currently stands at around €1700.

My house is badly in need of repairs. I’d love to go on holidays again. I’d love to get my teeth fixed/straightened so there should be a financial incentive to work but I don’t seem to want anything enough to actually make the changes required.

I have a degree and have done a few courses. In some ways I’m one of those people always doing courses but not actually holding down a job. I’m doing a Springboard course at the moment. I have worked in the past but it’s been a lot of temp work and short-term contracts.

How I spend my time as I know you’ll ask: I spend a lot of time helping family and keeping fit. I do a small amount of volunteer work. I go for coffee a lot. I watch tv. I’m not really into drinking or going out so I can live cheaply. In many ways I’ve become one of those awful people who don’t work but are always busy.

I know from other threads on here that people are extremely critical of people like me so I’m prepared to hear the negative responses. I’m hoping for practical advice on how to make this change of lifestyle. How should I structure my days differently in order to make my life change and what sort of a timeframe would you put on that change?

I’m 32 and female.

Thanks for reading and for any opinions or advice you can offer.

iusedtoknow

I think at this point it is a case of finding what you want to do, rather than working for the sake of working, hating it and going back to square one. The caveat to this is....getting rid of your debt. If you were working full time, even on a contract of say six months, you could have this debt knocked on the head. This would then give you leeway to find out what you really wanted to do.

The other thing is, don't try and make too many changes at once.

First take a job, any job for a short period of time to get rid of your debt, and maybe save for a holiday or something. Having a job will wean your family off leaning too heavily on you during this time and be more reliant. Use the time when you are working in a short term job to really think about what you want to do with the rest of your working life - you have a good 30 years, and many people change careers at some point. Have a general idea and then find a way to work towards that.

Lalealynn

Take a job pay off debt. Your debt is quite manageable. You can do it. And you can figure out what you want. :-)

Lalealynn

Also if you have been fortunate to inherit a house could you let a room out?

Mr. Incognito

Just find something you really love doing and find out a way to get paid for it- doesn't have to be a career per se.

sashafierce

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LegacyUser

Short answer with a quick question - What's stopping you??










Note: Answer to my question may require soul searching.....

Rubberchikken

I think you need to find what you want to work at.
When you've decided what that is then be determined to stick with it.

You sound like you want yo make changes to your life so if you hold onto thst feeling you'll succeed

Neyite

There is a saying: do a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

Can you give us examples of things you love? We might be able to suggest something for you to retrain towards.

Beaner1

The problem is that you really don't need to work. Life could be better for sure but its not all that bad for you now. That is the problem. It should be a real, miserable struggle for the long term unemployed. The sort of thing that would force a person to do anything for a bit of work.

Dutchess

I agree with Beaner1. And people who cannot work are struggling out there while there are still people, like OP, who choose not to work. Extremely unfair in my opinion. But I do commend your self awareness. Plenty people out there who live the same way and think it's their entitlement to live on other people's tax money while being perfectly capable of working.

Just to offer a reality check, finding a job you love is not a very realistic goal, especially without much (recent) experience. I would focus on finding a job you can do and looking into you social network to see if anyone can help you get a job. These days finding a job that pays the bills with some left over that does not make you miserable is a goal in itself.

I know it sounds mean and like a bit of a downer but I don't really believe in encouraging everyone to do what they love. The vast majority of jobs out there are not jobs that people dream about doing. But they need doing to keep society intact nonetheless. Loving your job is more of a luxury than a right. Making the best of your free time, financed by your job makes for a lovely life, as lived by many people all over.

As to changing your lifestyle, maybe start doing more volunteer work. Maybe even try to put in close to as many hours as a full time job, while still leaving yourself time to look for paid work. And try to take it seriously as if you were getting paid. Develop a sense of responsibility, punctuality and others skills valued by employers.

So in short, assess your skillset, look up what jobs you can apply it too and try to network to get a foot in the door.
Good luck!

Xterminator

Beaner1 wrote: »

It should be a real, miserable struggle for the long term unemployed. The sort of thing that would force a person to do anything for a bit of work.

No, i dont believe it should be.

Im happy i live in a society where people have the safety net of social welfare, and not just for a fixed period of time.
Because you never know the hour or the day when it might be you.

I personally hold the opinion that people should have to 'work' for their social welfare. And that said work should pay slightly less than minimum wage.

If the OP had to work for her social welfare, she would not have sunk into the welfare lifestyle rut she is in.

OP you are existing, not living. For your sanity's sake get up and do something with your life. You have an opportunity to get involved in some thing you are passionate about. Only you know what that is.

X

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

Lalealynn wrote: »

Take a job pay off debt. Your debt is quite manageable. You can do it. And you can figure out what you want. :-)

Thanks, I'm not too worried about the debt, it used to be much more and I make all the repayments. Mostly mentioned it so that people would understand that I don't have more money than people who work.

I haven't rented a room as I don't think I'm allowed on social welfare and I don't really want the company anyway. It's a small house and I like my privacy.

LegacyUser

sashafierce wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Not really to be honest. I do the Springboard course 3 days a week and the other days I go to the gym, etc so I do have a routine of sorts but I want to become a person whose routine is an actual job.

LegacyUser

-sminky- wrote: »

Short answer with a quick question - What's stopping you??










Note: Answer to my question may require soul searching.....

I wish I knew Will keep working on trying to figure this out.

LegacyUser

Neyite wrote: »

There is a saying: do a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

Can you give us examples of things you love? We might be able to suggest something for you to retrain towards.

Ok loads of you have mentioned finding a job I'd love. I'm kind of going with @dutchess on that not being realistic. The things I love revolve around fitness and beauty treatments which are best kept as a hobby I think. Being realistic there should be plenty of jobs I'd be good at.

The Springboard course I'm doing is in engineering and I like it and am quite well suited to it plus as I've said I've done loads of courses so it's time to stop doing that. The Springboard course worries me though because it has a lot of recently unemployed people with 5-20 years experience and amazing LinkedIn profiles and I feel unemployable compared with a lot of them. I worry that I only got the place to make up the numbers and will still end up working in retail or something even with all these qualifications. I really feel that this has to be my last course.

LegacyUser

Beaner1 wrote: »

The problem is that you really don't need to work. Life could be better for sure but its not all that bad for you now. That is the problem. It should be a real, miserable struggle for the long term unemployed. The sort of thing that would force a person to do anything for a bit of work.

Definitely a lot of truth in this but also as @Xterminator said it's existing not living. I don't want this situation to continue indefinitely. I'd like to become the person paying the tax that pays for my social welfare.

Thanks for all the replies, I've read all of them and have responded as well as I can, it's a bit awkward replying unreg but I'm reading and taking on board everything said here.

sadie06

OP, I too commend your self-awareness. Not many of us can say how motivated we would feel to work if we were living rent free and had no dependents, so don't be too hard on yourself!

Things do need to change, as you are clearly feeling that something is missing (apart from money) in your life, and I think that 'thing' is a feeling of self-worth.

Your only real experience that can be relied on for references in recent times seems to be volunteering experience, and the good news is that many, many people are seeking out new career paths and routes out of unemployment via volunteering, so it does not look unusual to rely on that type of work as evidence of your recent working history.

I advise you to explore avenues related to whatever volunteering you have been doing. It may not be immediately obvious what that path may be, but research and explore what is available in that area. You may need to volunteer more regularly, and network but you will be amazed at what could come out of it if you push yourself.

I speak as someone who started volunteering a year ago in a field of work distantly related to my past experience. Opportunities that I never expected presented themselves, and I am now employed by a reputable organisation working flexible hours within that field. I took a leap of faith, pushed myself, and it payed off!

You may have to fake the work ethic for a while…..but it will come!

Lalealynn

Integrity stretches to all aspects of your life. Values based on hard work and diligence. It has been challenged in recent years by the idea that these values are submissive to authority and social convention. And that it is only valuable if it brings a worthwhile result. In other words if you can get away with it do it. That is the value you are demonstrating. You are not valuing work in and of itself. Many conservatives believe that laziness is morally wrong, even reprehensible, because one is not doing their share of the work and living off of the hard work of others, and for this reason oppose welfare programs. I think laziness is damaging and unfulfilling. I think it bludgeons the human soul and stifles creativity. It’s a prison that holds people back.
Others believe that the concept of "hard work" is meant to delude the workers into being loyal servants to the rich. I think it’s a balance of the labourer in vain with the maxim nothing without labour. It is no longer true that producing more means working more, or that producing more will lead to a better way of life.
The connection between more and better has been broken; our needs for many products and services are already more than adequately met, and many of our as-yet- unsatisfied needs will be met not by producing more, but by producing differently, producing other things, or even producing less.

The thing is you will never understand this or be stimulated by it within the four walls of the house you have been lucky enough to inherit.

I would suggest something like a work hardening program where you work for a few days of the week at first and then build it up. You are in a position to really develop a career that you like and enrich your life. Don’t fear it.

I am not saying be a slave to the man. Work ethics involve such characteristics as honesty and accountability. You are not held accountable in your present position.

And whatever about your job you could definitely earn private income from your property. And you are having to apply to jobs to show to the social welfare anyway it’s not fair you are applying and not really going to take it many are.


The work ethic does not have to mean conformity.

It’s for people who need help and are suffering from depression or are looking or whatever. Don’t fall for the conservative maxim of nothing without labour they have no idea of what they are taking about. But don’t forget to let your star shine and be everything you can reach your potential. Learning diligence is worthwhile. Submit neither to slavery nor vices of the self. Fight off both and the battle of one will help the battle of the other.

Some people are not meant to work in corporate structures find your passion and go for it. You are the states minion in your position.


I don't believe the welfare system is unfair. I do believe you are going to be inspired by replies here to greatness.

It's your epic journey you are the hero of your own story. CONQUER IT ! :-)

Paying off your debt yourself will feel great I promise and it gives you a little self confidence. Work is something to hide in when the world gets too much.

Maybe if you saw things in balance. Aim for a life in harmony not one of slavery. The “winner” today is unbalanced and often unethical with flies in the face of work ethics. That's not too appealing is it? What does a harmonious life look like to you? Find YOUR way of achieving abundance.

Run a B&B in your house! ???