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Experience of divorce

  • 05-10-2014 8:15pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    A good friend of mine is going through a divorce, the hearing is coming up soon. There are no children involved. We don't really talk about it too much other than to say it'll be a busy time, and of course it'll be a relief when it's all sorted.
    A few of us are thinking of doing something "nice" for them around that time, sort of to be a distraction after all the stress of being in court, ect.
    Any suggestions? Or would it be better to leave them alone for a few weeks after to let the dust settle? We're just not sure what the best thing to do is, how do people who've gone through the system generally feel afterwards?


Comments

  • #2
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,165 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Hi Op. I am in the same boat as your friend. My final hearing is next week. We have an amicable arrangement and there are no issues between myself and my ex husband at all. I am not really sure how I am going to feel next week when it is all over to be honest but the only person who has asked me the question and if I am okay about it is my boss!!

    Only you really know your friend. Maybe suggest dinner and a drinks for a few of you and see what she says.


  • #3
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,238 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    I'm in the same boat at the moment (also no kids, also fairly amicable), although not quite at that advanced stage. Anyway, the entire process takes so long in Ireland (minimum four years) that, to be honest, I think most of what your friend will feel once the deed is done is relief. The rawness has long gone off the emotions by the time the decree is granted, tbh.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Jaysus yeah to Dial Hard above. It takes SOOOO long, your friend will probably be utterly overjoyed and drained when it's over. Have a party. Or a dinner. Or a spa-treatment. Or SOMETHING to draw a line under the experience. Put her/him in a car and go for a drive up the mountains for a walk...anything really. You're a good friend to think about it and I'm sure they'll appreciate whatever you come up with.

    I threw my wedding dress in the Corrib, personally. Hope it didn't damage any wildlife, but it felt good ;)


  • #5
    Wompa1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,193 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    I have a couple of friends going through divorces but they are not as amicable. They are getting bend over and taken for all they are worth. I know for one of them, when his is final he'll likely be paying less than he is currently so that will be grounds to celebrate something....though his life has been ruined from the last 3 years of supporting her, the kids and himself at the same time.

    Maybe leave it up to the person themselves...


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