Truth or Lie?

Confused2112

Has anyone told their partner they cheated but didn't and only said to hurt them?

Tasden

Either he's cheated or he intentionally tried to hurt the person he said it to by lying. Either way he's not worth worrying about.

Confused2112

Tasden wrote: »

Either he's cheated or he intentionally tried to hurt the person he said it to by lying. Either way he's not worth worrying about.

I'm the he and we have been together for 10 years. She said it never happened and she was being nasty as she had to much to drink. Just not sure what to believe.

Tasden

Confused2112 wrote: »

I'm the he and we have been together for 10 years. She said it never happened and she was being nasty as she had to much to drink. Just not sure what to believe.

Sorry I'm a girl so speaking from my point of view!
Doesn't matter what you believe, she intentionally tried to hurt you, knowing it would change your relationship and the trust the two of you share. That to me would be more of an issue than what actually happened or not.

Confused2112

Tasden wrote: »

Sorry I'm a girl so speaking from my point of view!

That's ok. I'm just not sure. Thanks

Confused2112

Anyone else either said this or it's happened to them?

king_of_inismac

Confused2112 wrote: »

Anyone else either said this or it's happened to them?

Very strange scenario especially after 10 years. At best, she was playing extremely hurtful mind games. Why would she do that? Was she provoked? You need to sit down and calmly discuss these issues (you're not kids!)

skallywag

Confused2112 wrote: »

Anyone else either said this or it's happened to them?

Yes, I once had this exact thing happen to me, i.e. girlfriend at the time told me she had been with someone else but it was pretty clear she was fabricating it in order to get a dig in.

Confused2112

skallywag wrote: »

Yes, I once had this exact thing happen to me, i.e. girlfriend at the time told me she had been with someone else but it was pretty clear she was fabricating it in order to get a dig in.

Thanks for your reply.
I just never thought anyone could be so cruel.

skallywag

It was a pretty odd one alright, she even came back a few days later saying that it 'should have been obvious' that she was making it up :-)

All in all it will be no surprise to hear that she was a nutjob who I am glad that is now firmly in my past !

Confused2112

skallywag wrote: »

It was a pretty odd one alright, she even came back a few days later saying that it 'should have been obvious' that she was making it up :-)

All in all it will be no surprise to hear that she was a nutjob who I am glad that is now firmly in my past !

We have kids together and the last 4 years have been amazing. But I think it would break us if she did sleep with someone else. She also said she was still annoyed at me for texting a female friend.

Penny Tration

You need to discuss this with her.

There's obviously doubt in your mind now, so you need to talk to her about it, and see if you can work it out.

Confused2112

green_screen wrote: »

You need to discuss this with her.

There's obviously doubt in your mind now, so you need to talk to her about it, and see if you can work it out.

We have talked about it for along time and she even said she would do a lie detector test but how reliable are they really?. Since she said it it's been a bit of a roller coaster did she didn't she.
But I now know I'm not the only one it's happened to.

CaraMay

So why were you texting a female friend? Was it around the same time as this happened?

You have kids so you have to make an urgent choice - to believe her or to leave her. It's not good for kids to be raised in this atmosphere so you need to decide to believe her and put it in the past or move out.

Confused2112

CaraMay wrote: »

So why were you texting a female friend? Was it around the same time as this happened?

I was texting her as she was a friend which is allowed and most my friends are women. And me texting her was about 2 to 3 months in to our relationship. Her telling me was about a year and a half in.

We are both great parents and there is no fighting going on.

CaraMay

Confused2112 wrote: »

CaraMay wrote: »

So why were you texting a female friend? Was it around the same time as this happened?

I was texting her as she was a friend which is allowed and most my friends are women. And me texting her was about 2 to 3 months in to our relationship. Her telling me was about a year and a half in.

We are both great parents and there is no fighting going on.

So you are still going on about something that did or didn't happen 8.5 years ago? Are you for real? You are bringing toxicity into this relationship. You say you have had kids and 4 amazing years? Why did you have kids with her after this if you didn't trust her? Does 4 good years mean nothing?

This says more about issues you have then her tbh.

You need to drop it or move out as why you are doing is extremely unhealthy for her mental and emotional health and for your kids.

Confused2112

We had our first child before this.
And I let it all go until I found out she kissed another guy. I found out a few weeks ago. So it got brought up again as she lied about the kiss so It all came back.
It's clear you have a bad opinion of men as your trying to make out that I'm at fault. I asked for advice nothing more.

bee06

So your real problem is/should be this kiss? If you forgave her and moved on from an issue that happened 8 years ago then you can't really throw it back in her face when it suits you.

Confused2112

bee06 wrote: »

So your real problem is/should be this kiss? If you forgave her and moved on from an issue that happened 8 years ago then you can't really throw it back in her face when it suits you.

The issue from 8 years ago was left in the past because I believed what she said. But to be lied to about a kiss then throws all trust out the window so what she said then also could be a lie. That's my problem. And I'm not throwing it in her face. I'm on here talking to complete strangers not sitting there shouting at her. I'm being very calm so everyone who says I'm at fault have no idea what they are talking about

bee06

Confused2112 wrote: »

The issue from 8 years ago was left in the past because I believed what she said. But to be lied to about a kiss then throws all trust out the window so what she said then also could be a lie. That's my problem. And I'm not throwing it in her face. I'm on here talking to complete strangers not sitting there shouting at her. I'm being very calm so everyone who says I'm at fault have no idea what they are talking about

Nobody that I can see has said you are at fault. We are giving our opinions based on the information you have given at the time we post.

Tokyo

Confused2112 wrote: »

It's clear you have a bad opinion of men as your trying to make out that I'm at fault. I asked for advice nothing more.

Confused2112 wrote: »

I'm being very calm so everyone who says I'm at fault have no idea what they are talking about

Confused2112 - while you may not like the advice that is given, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong, nor does that give you the right to respond in such a fashion to posters who have taken the time out of their day to reply to you.

Taking into account that your other threads have all required mod intervention, consider this your last warning on the subject - any other issues here and the thread will be closed, followed by an infraction or possible ban.

Regards,
Mike

CaraMay

Confused2112 wrote: »

We had our first child before this.
And I let it all go until I found out she kissed another guy. I found out a few weeks ago. So it got brought up again as she lied about the kiss so It all came back.
It's clear you have a bad opinion of men as your trying to make out that I'm at fault. I asked for advice nothing more.

You posted about this elsewhere and the fact was that this guy kissed her, she pulled back from him straight away and then didn't tell you. I wouldn't tell my partner if some guy lunged at me cos its a non event. You also mentioned you would clobber him which made her reasons for not telling you even more valid.

You are in the wrong here op whether you like it or not. The best advice you will ever get is either to get over it or move on as you are in the wrong

Confused2112

mike_ie wrote: »

Confused2112 - while you may not like the advice that is given, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong, nor does that give you the right to respond in such a fashion to posters who have taken the time out of their day to reply to you.

Taking into account that your other threads have all required mod intervention, consider this your last warning on the subject - any other issues here and the thread will be closed, followed by an infraction or possible ban.

Regards,
Mike

If you read the other threads you will see one person has been writing things that indicates that I'm at fault so I have the rite to defend myself and if you don't agree you shouldn't be a moderator for this site. Other have said much worse than me and nothing said to them. If you want to close me down go ahead if it makes you feel like you have power but I have screen shots and will be posting them on other site to show how people get treated.
Enjoy the rest of your day

Penny Tration

Confused2112 wrote: »

If you read the other threads you will see one person has been writing things that indicates that I'm at fault so I have the rite to defend myself and if you don't agree you shouldn't be a moderator for this site. Other have said much worse than me and nothing said to them. If you want to close me down go ahead if it makes you feel like you have power but I have screen shots and will be posting them on other site to show how people get treated.
Enjoy the rest of your day

You ARE in the wrong.

You're blaming your girlfriend because somebody else kissed her!

I don't think you want advice tbh. You only want people to say you're right, because you're getting rude with anyone who disagrees with you.

If this attitude translates to real life, I can understand why your girlfriend didn't tell you.

Confused2112

green_screen wrote: »

You ARE in the wrong.

You're blaming your girlfriend because somebody else kissed her!

I don't think you want advice tbh. You only want people to say you're right, because you're getting rude with anyone who disagrees with you.

If this attitude translates to real life, I can understand why your girlfriend didn't tell you.

I'm not blaming her for someone kissing her. She lied about it and because of what she said about sleeping with someone else made me think was she lying. Hence the question. Has anyone told their partner they cheated but didn't

Taltos

OK OP

I've had enough.
Our charter is there for a reason. I asked you on the last thread to read it before you posted again on this forum, but you are continuing to show examples of either not caring about the rules here or not following that instruction. Most recently by arguing with a mod on thread. There is no excuse to not reading the charter on this forum, it's even quoted in the sigs of the mods, so whatever your game is here my patience is at an end.

Either way I am not of a mind to put our members through more of this. Thread closed.

Read our charter before you even consider posting to another thread, however if you open a thread on this topic again in PI / RI it will be closed and you will be infracted. If you still continue to ignore mod instruction you will be banned.

Regards
Taltos