How long should you wait before you have the relationship talk

LegacyUser

So I've been talking to this guy for maybe 3-4 months and we met for a date 2 months ago. Instantly hit it off with most dates ending where we have to be kicked out of the café/shop/bar because of closing time. We talk every single day just asking about eachothers day and all that...very easy going, its the first relationship sort of thing that I've felt comfortable and safe and where I don't need to text him every hour or anything ( severe anxiety mixed with previous relationships may have caused this)

We really enjoy eachothers company and I met his family about two weeks ago and he is heading to my house for a lazy evening so odds are he will meet mine. He has planned every weekend from now until middle November wiith one of the weekends being a house party that his friends are having

We are both quite shy ( Chronically) and so I get the feeling that we both want to have that "so when do we update our facebook status" talk lol

So when is too soon ? any tips? Thankies
I'm mid 20's with very shocking relationship experience I should point out

If it's been a couple months why not just bring it up
Especially if you've met families...

LegacyUser

I think its cause we are both cripplingly shy and that we both have pretty ****e relationships/ or lack of in my case.

Thanks

Tokyo

Seeing as you are bringing him to meet your family soon, why not ask him how he'd like to be introduced? As your boyfriend, or something else? And see what he says.

Stavro Mueller

And as an aside I think the "in a relationship with" status on Facebook is best avoided. I wonder how many people who've had to go in and change their relationship status to single feel like they've got egg on their faces? Especially if their settings are not totally private and everyone sees that Mary Smith has changed her relationship status to single?

I think Mike's suggestion it's a good one. Or you could ask him casually are you an item now?

sunshine and showers

Mike's is an excellent suggestion. I'd definitely avoid asking in terms of your Facebook status, though. A lot of people are not that comfortable broadcasting their relationship status online and I think it'd look a bit juvenile. Let the "Facebook official" craic arise itself - and don't be hurt if it never does! My boyfriend and I are together nearly a year and I've had to accept that it's never going to happen and that doesn't mean anything.

Sounds like it just needs to be said aloud to be honest. Best of luck!

CaraMay

Op don't worry about previous bad relationships. They teach you what you dint want. Why do you need to have the chat? If you are sleeping with him then I would ask to make sure you aren't one in a harem but tbh it all sounds positive

Carson10

Would both of you not know that you are going out rather than having to ask each to be my boyfriend or girlfriend etc.... You have been to see each others family so that's really saying it without words. Will you be my girlfriend sounds a bit playground teenage stuff?

louisenf2014

Yep....It sounds like you don't need to have the chat. If you're shy, maybe just have the confidence to accept that this is the relationship and don't be stressing over it unless he has given you some indication that he is dating other people.

You could say it casually either "I make a great girlfriend don't I" in a joking way - obviously in the appropriate situation....see how he reacts.

Also, I second the "leave it off facebook". Eventually you'll have enough photo's of yourselves together to make it obvious without saying it. I haven't had a relationship status visible on facebook for ages - or since my last break-up.

tinz18

louisenf2014 wrote: »

You could say it casually either "I make a great girlfriend don't I" in a joking way - obviously in the appropriate situation....see how he reacts.

I'd take this exact tact if you need reassurance. Myself and my OH just took it forgranted we were together once we started dating. We discussed it briefly when I, without any thought, joked about how it was quite funny that my boyfriend was looking at nail varnishes in boots while I had no interest- he paints models and apparently some varnishes do a good job on them.

njs030

Op if you're sleeping with him then there really shouldn't be anything you're too shy to discuss. It's not great to be that intimate with him but scared to check if he's seeing anyone else.
It seems important to you so maybe you just need to be straightforward, it'll be good for you to face up to it and give you courage next time something important has to be said!