poor verbal communication skills

simonplus

Hello all,

I am a nonnative english speaker, 27, currently attending college in the US. I am very frustrated about my verbal communication skills and inability to cope with this issue.

Truth be told, my english is not horrible, at all, and has got a lot better since the day I came to the US. However, often time I misuse terms, I am unable to express concepts in a clear and concise way, and words don't come up when I need them. Sometimes I would digress too much or fill up the silence in a conversation even if I have only a slight idea of what to say. The most stressful thing is when I say something --- let's say "I saw a movie in television"--- and I quickly realize I just made a mistake --- I should have said: "on television."
I have been trying to slow down and wait the famous "10 seconds" before I open my mouth, but results haven't been quite satisfactory and stress is mounting.

Personality-wise I am not a timid person; however, I did notice that I tend to sell myself a bit short.

I am desperately trying to identify and understand the root cause of this issue and would really appreciate if someone could help me on this.

Thank you.

bee06

If you are not a native English speaker then no one expects you to have perfect English. Small mistakes like using in instead of on etc wouldn't really be noticed. As long as people understand you then that's the important thing. Us native speakers make mistakes as well!

king_of_inismac

Its normal not to be fluent. Your options are:

1. Embrace every occasion to speak and in time become totally fluent.

2. Avoid speaking as much as possible and hope no one notices.

The answer is clear - go with option 1 :-)

R.D. aka MR.D

Did you study for your TOEFL with a native speaker?

How did you feel about your performance? It's a test so it's not the best representation of real life but it does place a lot of emphasis on accuracy and expressing your ideas in a concise manner.

Have you gotten any extra tutoring while you are there? You could try to find a professional to help you. A good English language teacher will also help to build your confidence.

LegacyUser

simonplus wrote: »

I am very frustrated about my verbal communication skills and inability to cope with this issue.

however, I did notice that I tend to sell myself a bit short.

I am desperately trying to identify and understand the root cause of this issue and would really appreciate if someone could help me on this.

Simonplus,

a) No, your English is not horrible - far from it. Your written English is near perfect, compared to some of the teen speak and lack of punctuation you'll see up here in many posts.

b) Your inability to cope with the issue of your nervousness about speaking English imperfectly and it's root cause are answered in your OP.

"HOWEVER, I DID NOTICE THAT I TEND TO SELL MYSELF A BIT SHORT" !! - Yes, yes you do!

If you can try to keep in mind that you are being very, VERY hard on yourself every time you inwardly cringe at your (very minor) verbal mistakes, I hope you'll start coping a bit better. In fact, you should pat yourself on the back for trying so hard, and not pay so much attention to your mistakes. Perhaps you're like this with yourself about many other aspects of your life? Do you have very high expectations of achieving perfection in other areas, such as your grades, sporting activities, appearance, etc.?

Rubberchikken

for starters, stop selling yourself short.
you're in the us, you're in college, you're english is fine and with time, will only improve.

plenty of practice will see to that, and relax and enjoy what you're experiencing. go easy on yourself, friends and college mates aren't sitting around judging you on whether you say in or on, no one would.

take care