Is my career choice going to do me damage?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I am applying for a job and would appreciate some advice deciding whether I'm making the right decision.

Just for some back story, my brother is a violent heroin addict, he terrorised my family and left me traumatised. I have been attending therapy as a result of this and have been left with many issues. He is currently in prison. (Thank god).

These experiences however (along with many others), have led me into the social care profession where I enjoy working with people affected by similar issues, as I feel I have a lot of insight and empathy to offer.

At the moment I am working in a restaurant. Although I am happy here, the pay isn't great and I am not getting a huge amount of job satisfaction. I am qualified in social care and this is what I want to do.

Recently, I applied for a job which would involve working with men with addictions. My therapist doesn't believe this is a good idea, but I feel I am wasted in a restaurant. She also seems to be hinting that I should rethink social care as a profession altogether, and has suggested that I explore other options.

I am so torn, its true I haven't considered many other careers, but this is always what I've wanted to do. I've spent so much time and money doing my degree, I love working with people, yet I'm wondering if I'm doing damage to myself in this profession.

I have the application for the job in front of me but I can't complete it. I'm not sure if this is because my therapist has gotten into my head or if I just don't want to do it deep down.

If anyone has any advice, suggestions or insight on this I would really appreciate it.

Thank you.

lovelyjubbly

Do you think it will affect you? What's the pros and cons?

shalalala

I really don't understand what a councillor is doing telling you about what career you should be in. Try it out. If it doesn't work try something else, you will always have the waitressing to fall back on if it doesn't work for you

king_of_inismac

Not a question anyone here can answer for you.

Ask yourself:
1. Can you deal with addicts on a daily basis?
2. Are you confident it won't affect you?
3. As someone who know you and your issues well, why do you think your councillor is against it?
4. To help people with addiction, is it good that you've personal experience or would it better for you (and your clients) to work in another field where you can be more objective?

LegacyUser

It's tough to give advice OP as obviously your therapist has been dealing with you one on one for a while and knows more about the in's and out's but I do question them advising you to change careers. It would be different if your were considering this as a career change from something else but this is already your chosen career, you've been to school, passed and got your degree. You know what is involved and what to expect from this. Many people have chosen careers based on negative experiences, it's about taking a negative and turning it into a positive and who better to be involved with this then someone who knows first hand. I think I'd be more likely to listen to someone who'd been through a similar experience then someone who got everything out of a book BUT you need to make sure you look after yourself as well. I think you should apply and see how things go, take everything one step at a time but be really honest to yourself and the second you feel uncomfortable walk away.

LegacyUser

OP I work in social care and have done for several years, I work with people addictions, homeless people. Over the years the best social care workers I have worked have been people have been affected by the issues our clients have themselves or who have a close family member who has these problems. Personal experience of these issues is invaluable, it gives insight which cannot be easily be gained from the classroom. All of the organisations I have worked with in this sector actively seek out people with personal experience as employees for this reason.

That being said it IS a tough line of work. I wont lie to you, you get abuse, you have to deal with very difficult and troubled people on daily basis, you'll hear the saddest stories and see the saddest things you can imagine, you'll be put in difficult situations, there's even a risk of violence at time. Worst of all most of the clients you work with will not accept mot of your help or make much progress while you work with them. You probably know this yourself but people with these kind of problems are often on self destruct, you're not going to be able to save them, they have to save themselves and many of them simply aren't capable of that. It's not everyone that can deal with this line of work, you have to have a thick skin.

OP if this is what you want to do definitely give it a go. If you feel you can't deal with it then you can pursue another career instead but it would be a shame to have studied in social care and never give it a go, at least. Have you also considered volunteering, social care organisations are often looking for people to volunteer with them and it would be a good way to get a feel for the kind of work. Although I would guess that you have already done work placements if you have studied for a degree in Social Care.

FurBabyMomma

Can you ask your therapist straight out what his/her opinion is rather than just 'hinting' and beating around the bush? You don't have to necessarily agree with what he/she says but it may give you food for thought.

SkyBlueClouds

king_of_inismac wrote: »

Not a question anyone here can answer for you.

Ask yourself:
1. Can you deal with addicts on a daily basis?
2. Are you confident it won't affect you?
3. As someone who know you and your issues well, why do you think your councillor is against it?
4. To help people with addiction, is it good that you've personal experience or would it better for you (and your clients) to work in another field where you can be more objective?

Agreed.

Research the pro's and con's of the profession, talk to those actulay working in the field (maybe do a bit of shadowing for a day if possible?) and see if it's for you.

Semele

For me the main thing to keep in mind is your own reaction to the work. As a previous poster has said, personal experience can be a great asset in this type of work, but in order to work in a way that is safe for both you and your clients you really need to cultivate a lot of self-awareness. You just need to know your own limits, to recognise if your reaction to something is becoming more personal than is helpful and to be able to use clinical supervision effectively to manage this. There is nothing wrong with having a strong personal reaction to a situation or to a client- all of us have our buttons that get pushed every now and again! Talking about these concerns to your supervisor doesn't make you seem weak, or incapable, but rather shows that you are reflective and can adjust your working style where required.

Think of the ideal balance of empathetic, but appropriately boundaried, practice as being in the centre of a continuum. On either extreme are the less ideal/potentially very harmful practices that you need to avoid- on the one hand unable to be truly empathetic to the client, and on the other totally over-involved at the expense of your own professionalism and well-being.

Just throwing up examples based on your situation- on the one hand someone in your position could find that their own experiences are still affecting them so much that they can't feel empathetic towards substance abusing clients. They can't be emotionally present with the client and act as an advocate for them because instead of the client's needs all they can focus on is the damage the client's behaviour has done to others. They might feel angry, as though the client's actions have affected them personally. They may fall into a critical, judgemental and punitive way of relating to the client that he then picks up on and which is further damaging to him.

On the other hand, someone could be so affected by their own experiences that they can't tolerate the idea of the same thing happening and feel responsible for fixing the clients life, often going beyond their job description in trying to do so. This (if unchecked) is unprofessional, as boundaries get blurred, you may come across as inconsistent and teams can start to "split" due to differences of opinion about how a client should be helped. Difference normally is not a bad thing, but when this person is so invested emotionally in a certain outcome they are not open to looking at the bigger picture or taking on board others opinions. This over involved style is also unhelpful for the client, who is encouraged to be dependent and risk averse rather than becoming healthy and in control.

Basically, as long as you are aware of these two patterns of relating that you could be pulled into in the work and are able open to reflecting on your own emotions, there is no reason why you couldn't be excellent in a social care field!