I'm feeling a bit depressed recently. Could it down to being single?

JimPatTom

Don't want to make this long-winded so...

I'm a young adult (lad) in Transition Year in a mixed-gender secondary school in Rural Ireland. I have been on and off feeling down for the past week or so. The stimulus for this, in my opinion, is the fact that I'm single.

Most of my friends have been in a relationship of some sort during the first 3 years of secondary school or are in a relationship at present. I haven't.

Please don't create a mental picture of a basement-dwelling teenager with no social skills or personality. I get on great with everyone in my year (both the lads and the girls) and in other years, I have next to no enemies, and I like going to school for the craic and everything else that goes with it, and I'm having a ball in TY at the moment.

Fair enough, in Junior Cert there wasn't much time for strolling around the place chasing after women. But now in TY, I am a man of free time, and my single-ness is starting to hit home, for me anyway.

I've gone to the discos, and love the craic there, but there comes a point when senseless, meaningless shifting doesn't really float my boat. I don't like using women like many other lads my age and I'm looking for something slightly more long-term

A good bunch of my friends do with the local discos and aren't bothered by not having a girlfriend or anything that goes with it. They are happy out being single.

So, do ye think having a girlfriend would cheer me up? Or would it make me happier for a small while and then rebound on me when things go south? Would having a girl to share the craic with and go places with (cinema, TY dances etc.) lift my spirits or am I being silly?
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Too Long; Didn't Read.
Teenage lad in Transition Year. Occasionally depressed because many other lads I know are in relationships and I amn't. Get on well with everyone in my year (lads and girls) and wondering if being in a relationship would cheer me up a bit.

Thanks for reading

Penny Tration

Tbh, i don't think having a girlfriend will add anything to your life right now.

You sound like you have a good social life, plenty of friends, interests and enjoy yourself generally.

You're what, 15 or so? You say you want something kind of long term. You're more than likely NOT going to find that with a girl your age.

Teenage dating can be lots of fun, I enjoyed it. But I've never seen it end up long term. People change a hell of a lot towards their late teens, and because of this, relationships tend to not work out.

You sound kind of envious of your friends, and that might be making you feel a little down, but honestly, dating and relationships aren't all fun and games! Just chill and enjoy what you have.

Either way, a girlfriend isn't something you should seek to make yourself feel better. That'll never work. A girlfriend should add to happiness, not make you feel better!

JimPatTom

Thanks for the advice.

By "long-term" I didn't mean anything that would see me out of secondary school, just something that would last longer than a brief encounter at a disco, if you know what I mean.

As you mentioned, keeping busy seems to help. It only seems to cross my mind when I'm idle/with nothing to look forward to in the near future.

Thanks again.

JimPatTom

Thanks for the advice.

By "long-term" I didn't mean anything that would see me out of secondary school, just something that would last longer than a brief encounter at a disco, if you know what I mean.

As you mentioned, keeping busy and appreciating what I have seems to help. It only seems to cross my mind when I'm idle/with nothing to look forward to in the near future.

Thanks again.

Rubberchikken

Is there someone in particular that you like?
If so how about asking them out- cinema, out for pizza, whatever it is teens do these days where there's a chance for getting to know wach other.

You sound like a decent guy with his head screwed on right so things will work put fine:)
Good luck