5 year old maintaince

Antax

I am paying €50 a week for my boy. I have him every weekend and my ex wife looks after him during the rest of the time. Don't misunderstand she is a wonderful mother. My son is polite and intelligent, I want to say it is in part because of me but she teaches him them values every single day.
However I am finding it very hard lately to pay that €50. I kept paying it even when I was out of work (seasonal work for 10 months of the year). During that time I probably should have paid less as I only had €35 left over each week after rent and maintenance.
How much should I pay when I am only getting €188 a week (-95 for rent).

I am back at work now but the €50 is still making me struggle. I only just got past all the dent she left me in. I will admit I am still angry at all the loans she took out in my name and hide all the final notices but I want to support my son. The money goes into an account directly to her Mother as she is better at managing money.

Sorry my mind is a lil off.

How much is okay to pay towards a 5 year old boy? Does her having a partner who contributes make a difference?

Ann84

Hi,

I am a separated parent but our arrangement is completely 50/50 so we don't have maintenance... However, we set up a joint account a couple of years ago to pay for hobbies (and school stuff) that come up irregularly.

This is just context, my point is with you paying 50, and his mom paying 50 (assuming she is matching your input) then do I think 100 a week levelled over a year covers the costs of a child today... Probably, but not much spare would be my answer.

By your post, I get that you have a reasonably ok relationship with his mom. Money cause cause a lot of tension so when considering challenging the maintenance, make sure a) you can justify why financially and b) try to calculate where the current money goes and going from having 100 per week to 70 per week will effect his lifestyle (I.e - clothes @ 100 per quarter, food @ 30 per week, classes, birthday parties, toys, medical costs, childcare etc.)

The number of costs children have I wouldn't even try to list here but I would suggest that if 50 is all you pay (as in your not regularly be asked for incidentals!) then it sounds ok, and is it worth a row considering things sound ok.

Also, as he is 5 now and just starting school... He will possibly get more expensive depending on hobbies so it mightn't be a bad idea to chat about how those costs will sit,

Best of luck

IvoryTower

You could try putting money away over the ten months for when you've no work for 2 months.

ladygirl

I agree with the above poster - you should be putting away money during the 10 months to cover yourself for the 2 months you are out of work.

Assuming you are our of work for 9 weeks in total - thats €450 in maintenance payments.

You need to save €45 per month. By putting €10 a week into a savings account when you are working - by the end of the 10 months you will have enough money to cover the 2 months you are out of work. This is completely achievable OP so you should have no excuse!!

I do not think for one minute your payments should be reduced - €50 is by no means excessive in regards to payments.

I suggest you work on managing your finances a bit better.

Rubberchikken

50 euro is hard to find when you're nit earning a hugh amt.
But you sound like a good parent who wants what's best for their kid so try to budget it as best you can.

From experience I can tell you small kids clothing cost money but bigger kids cost loads of money and it doesn't get easier.

For your child's sake try to keep the relationship with his mom cordial.

Good luck

December2012

If you're not working could you take your child more? As that way you are contributing to childcare.

Antax

December2012 wrote: »

If you're not working could you take your child more? As that way you are contributing to childcare.

I take him weekends, trust me trying to get that was a fight. She wants him with her 24/7. I can understand that however I do not want to get in the way of his school routine either.

MouseTail

Just to add, her having a partner has no bearing on your maintenance. He is not expected to provide for your child.

Payton

Try and come to some mutual agreement if you can. As a poster said try and put money away for the 10 months your working and explain to the child's mother your situation.
You didn't mention anything about court orders regarding child maintenance or custody?.....and from what I can see your agreement at the moment is excellent compared to other divided units and the last thing you need to be doing is upsetting her because if she goes the legal route....it will hurt financially as you'll be expected to contribute more and lucky to get access every 2nd weekend.