am i wrong?

ghogie91

Hi all,

Maybe not the right place to write this

So im just turning 23, have been working what i would call an 'adult job' the last 4 and a half years, by adult i mean 38 hours a week, monday to friday, pensionable, health benefits etc etc 1 year starting i was made permanent. Not the worst paying job and not the best.

Lately i have been feeling like i have missed out on my younger years i.e. from about 18 onwards as i was always working when my friends were in college, btw i done a year of college and decided to leave after first year exams to continue in this job being young and what seems to be very naive. They have all had part time jobs that were seeing them through college, paying for nights out maybe 2 or even 3 nights a week.

They seem to have so many friends, have had the experiences i have had and more, they are all still in college or graduating now with qualifications.

To me i never got to live the college or young persons life as i always had to be present and correct for work. I know there is an arguement to say 'well at least you have a job' which i dont accept because they will all leave college, yes maybe go a year on very little work but for a 21/22/23 year old thats nothing to worry about, they will all end up getting a job they are qualified for and be as advanced, if not more advanced than me, in their career.

Is it normal to be feeling like this? I feel alot of regret towards my job, which i am very good at, due to the fact that i feel like i am living a life of eat sleep work and repeat adult, without ever enjoying the carefree younger life.

It has been playing on my mind alot lately, to the point that im resenting my job, losing interest in my over all career goals that i was excited about 2/3 years ago. Its even making me wonder than if i had finished out my Web Design bsc in college would i be happier now doing the career i have always wanted rather than accounts and answering phones from 9 to 5?

Any replies welcome to help get my head around this

ivytwine

There are pluses and minuses to both. I went down the college route and did a highly financially-unrewarding degree (and, if it wasn't bad enough, I didn't learn my lesson and did a disaster of a Masters). Right now I'm at work. I'd give anything for a nice 9-5! Seriously tho, a lot of the people I know who went into work straight/a year after after school- excluding those who did trades- seem to be far better set up than those who went to college. Honestly I don't know a single person who I went to college with who's completely happy with where they are now- not from being spoiled or anything, but we have genuinely landed ourselves with crappy jobs! The few that are have made compromises and sacrifices.

It's not too late to change careers or even do a part-time course or take up something that might lead to a career change. Or even if you want to travel, you can save.

I think maybe if you have a bit of leave saved up, take a couple of days and have a think about what you want to do, enquire about night classes etc. You do have a good springboard and don't worry about wasting your youth, sure you've got 60+ years left to do stuff!

Merkin

I think you should pursue the career you actually want and if that means going back to college then that's what you should do. A friend of mine is thirty six and has gone back to do a degree in physio after working in media for years and I have the utmost respect for her. It's never too late, pursue what interests you now rather than allowing yourself to become bitter and/or insecure.

Stavro Mueller

If you want to have a different career down the line then go for it. You're still young and have plenty of time. What you also have from a potential employer's point of view is the ability to hold down a job and work with people. That's important too. If you've regrets now is a great time to do something about it.

A word of warning though - if you go to college you're not going to be able to relive the same sort of carefree life your friends had. At 23 you'll be a very different person to the kids fresh out of school and you might even find them a bit head wrecking at times. You may find you've more in common with the other mature students in your class and they're not necessarily there for fun times. When I was a student the slightly older people in my class just seemed to be much more grown up and I'm not sure they were ever part of the class in the way that the younger ones were. That's not to say you can't have a good social life at college but don't expect it to be like what your friends had.

Tasden

I understand how you feel OP, I started college at 17 and with a baby in tow. So it was never about the "best years of my life" in college, it was scheduling assignments and study around childcare and working any other hours to afford childcare for college term. Any time people asked me to go to anything I didn't have a sitter or I needed to catch up on study or work or what have you so I didn't make friends to the same extent as the rest of the group. Looking back now though, where I am at this stage of my life, would I take them up on most of their offers today? Not a chance! Drinking til they're sick, being really loud about irrelevant stuff, drama about nothing, all the stuff that's fun when you're young and have no responsibilities, even now every once in a while, but that lifestyle is a once off limited time kind of thing and once you're past it its not very appealing so even if you were to go back and do what you missed it wouldn't be quite the same if that makes sense? Yeah you could have fun but a different kind i would think.

Also, despite the fact that I went to college, got a great result, worked, volunteered, kept up training etc. I'm unable to find full time work in the career I worked so hard for. I'd give anything to have a stable job rather than working whatever retail job becomes available in order to pay the bills. I know that doesn't help you but you worked hard for this job so think hard before you make a decision, it may not be easy to get back in once you're out.

Well done for all you've achieved, you should be proud of yourself.

Rubberchikken

you have the security of a job but if you want to study would your employer be willing to sponsor you to do a college degree that would benefit you and the company.

sometimes just seeing the lives that others have can make us dissatisified with our own, often for only a short time, so it's likely that this feeling will pass soon.
while lots of people enjopy college, a great number have a tough time in it and an even tougher time after so be careful what you envy:)

Stavro Mueller

Just to add: you can build up a social circle even if you're not at college. What to you do in the evenings when you finish work? Perhaps you might look into getting involved in clubs or sports locally and make friends that way?

If it's still web design you want to do, could you do it as a part-time or distance learning course? That way you could keep your job and see how things go before you make any big decisions. You could earn a few euros on the side with the skills you've learned too or set up a little business for yourself.

Tasden

Stavro Mueller wrote: »

Just to add: you can build up a social circle even if you're not at college. What to you do in the evenings when you finish work? Perhaps you might look into getting involved in clubs or sports locally and make friends that way?

If it's still web design you want to do, could you do it as a part-time or distance learning course? That way you could keep your job and see how things go before you make any big decisions. You could earn a few euros on the side with the skills you've learned too or set up a little business for yourself.

Very good points actually, part time course might even lead to some new friends

R.D. aka MR.D

What are your priorities in life? What are the things that you want to do?

Make a list of what you want to do. See how many of them are achievable while still at your job and see how many would require a complete life change.

If you have a clear idea of what you want and what is important to you, you are less likely to many any quick decisions that you may regret. The grass is always greener and all that.

I went to college and now live abroad. I'm moving to my 4th new country in the New Year and i'm sure there are plenty of times my friends at home think 'oh i'd love to being that' but what they don't realise is that sometimes I think about how I would like their life.

Once you have your goals, work towards them!