Problem with alcohol

Salid

I think I have a drink problem. I am a youngish woman and have a good job and life. I drink at least a bottle of wine about 4 days a week. I have been hiding bottles. When I start I can't stop and I make a show of myself. I did it again and I am full of fear and self hatred. I need to stop this cycle. I am too embarrassed to seek doctors help. I know I shouldn't be but I am very anxious and I have been unable to bring up the anxiety with my doctor. I drink to release the anxiety but it makes it worse as I give myself more things to worry about. I don't want anyone to know this. How do I stop drinking and not have them know. I don't want to call myself an alcoholic as stupid as that seems so I don't want to go to AA. Can I do this myself

beano345

Salid wrote: »

I think I have a drink problem. I am a youngish woman and have a good job and life. I drink at least a bottle of wine about 4 days a week. I have been hiding bottles. When I start I can't stop and I make a show of myself. I did it again and I am full of fear and self hatred. I need to stop this cycle. I am too embarrassed to seek doctors help. I know I shouldn't be but I am very anxious and I have been unable to bring up the anxiety with my doctor. I drink to release the anxiety but it makes it worse as I give myself more things to worry about. I don't want anyone to know this. How do I stop drinking and not have them know. I don't want to call myself an alcoholic as stupid as that seems so I don't want to go to AA. Can I do this myself

Go to your gp trust me they've seen it a thousand times in this country,I had a relapse a week ago and went to see my gp who set me on the right path again,I also suffered with anxiety and panic attacks and was drinking to curb them it became a vicious circle and made the anxiety worse,funny thing is when I gave up the drink the anxiety stopped after a while.your gp can prescribe medication to ease withdrawals and you can do a home detox after that its up to you whether its AA or counselling,letting a family member know mightnt be a bad idea either for support.

Best of luck of op I know the horrors when you're battling with the bottle

Salid

I am too ashamed to tell, although the OH suspects it. I know the day after a bad one is awful but right now I feel so anxious and ashamed. I want t be fixed but I panic at the idea of telling the doctor. I feel like I'm living a lie and terrified of being exposed, but the sickness in my stomach and the nerves always drive me back to numbing the pain.

beano345

Salid wrote: »

I am too ashamed to tell, although the OH suspects it. I know the day after a bad one is awful but right now I feel so anxious and ashamed. I want t be fixed but I panic at the idea of telling the doctor. I feel like I'm living a lie and terrified of being exposed, but the sickness in my stomach and the nerves always drive me back to numbing the pain.

Nothing to be ashamed of at all your gp will understand,but if you don't want to go that route I'd recommend tapering off the drink loads online about it,I'd stock up on b1(thiamin) as alcohol depletes it from your body which effects your central nervous system hence the nerves

Salid

beano345 wrote: »

Nothing to be ashamed of at all your gp will understand,but if you don't want to go that route I'd recommend tapering off the drink loads online about it,I'd stock up on b1(thiamin) as alcohol depletes it from your body which effects your central nervous system hence the nerves

Thanks. I suspect I started drinking to numb my feelings of inadequacy and anxiety but obviously it makes it worse. I feel soooo awful I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. I am so full of shame as well which eats at me all day everyday even when I'm not drinking. I know I need help but I also know all times I considered it I backed out

Rubberchikken

Talk to your gp.
There's no shame iin admitting you have a problem. You're a strong person to recognise the problem, now let someone get you the support you need.
Good luck

Salid

Rubberchikken wrote: »

Talk to your gp.
There's no shame iin admitting you have a problem. You're a strong person to recognise the problem, now let someone get you the support you need.
Good luck

I know and I would give that advice to anyone but I booked an appointment when I was suffering so bad with anxiety and then sat outside in the car and couldn't go through with it

skallywag

OP, perhaps the constant anxiety you describe is brought on by the fact you may be nearly constantly going through ''the fear" , i.e. the feelings of shame and regret nearly everyone gets after drinking too much the night before.

Have you tried cutting it out completely for, say, 1-2 weeks, and see if your general mood and feeling of well being improves?

Salid

skallywag wrote: »

OP, perhaps the constant anxiety you describe is brought on by the fact you may be nearly constantly going through ''the fear" , i.e. the feelings of shame and regret nearly everyone gets after drinking too much the night before.

Have you tried cutting it out completely for, say, 1-2 weeks, and see if your general mood and feeling of well being improves?

Thank you I have and I do improve. But of anything happens that could cause me stress I still go into meltdown. I recall before I started drinking I suffered anxiety, nerves, low mood a lot. I suppose I am self medicating to some extent as the alcohol makes it go away, but as you know it makes it worse afterwards

tenifan

Hi Op.
You sound a bit overwhelmed.
It's hard to break a routine especially when alcohol is part of it.
Just a suggestion, but why not explain to your OH you're stressed, and suggest a hotel/spa break at the weekend to help you relax in an alcohol-free environment (because you feel the wine is making your stress worse)?
I'm sure he'll read between the lines, and you can have a bit of a heart-to-heart and maybe discuss where you want to go from there.
Another good way to break the bad habit is to do some exercise and have an early night once in a while, as things like slumping on the sofa and watching tv can act as a trigger for cravings.

LegacyUser

I was the same as you when I was 28. Good job, living in a house share, part time in college, drinking at least a bottle of wine 4 days a week and more on weekends. A lot of the drnking was on my own, I would leave the pub early to go home and drink alone.

I was so anxious, lonely and depressed. I had tried cutting down and stopping altogether and would last a few weeks but that was all. I felt empty.

Finally I admitted defeat and I went along to an AA meeting. I know you said you don't want to do that but I just had to share my experience (You do not have to call yourself an alcoholic) That was 5.5 years ago and I honestly haven't looked back. It hasn't always been easy but life is not always easy. I have not had to drink. I can tell you now that there are plenty of women under 40 in AA in Dublin and in Ireland as a whole. I have made so many new friends and I still have a lot of my old friends too.

I highly recommend attending a meeting. Purely based on the experience I had.

There are a small number of women's meetings in Dublin (2) that are weekly.

If you call AA they should be able to help or advise.

There is another way.

Salid

I am overwhelmed I suppose. I just want to be happy and content by my self. I am only relaxed drinking (or sleeping!). I am constantly anxious- worrying, living in the past, getting irritable. I am considering cbt does anyone know can I book myself in or do you get referred?

MissFlitworth

One of the most powerful things you can do when you are out of control with anything, any addiction at all, is to tell someone who is invested in your getting better. Whether you realise it or not, by not telling your partner, by not telling your doctor you're giving yourself an out to keep drinking. You need to bring it out into the open. There are many, many people in Ireland with alcohol problems. It's nothing to be ashamed of but it is absolutely something that you need to talk to people who can help you because this can and will get worse if you don't. If you feel bad about drinking 4 bottles by yourself a week now, imagine how you're going to feel when that moves to multiple bottles a day. You'll be wrecked trying to hide that.

The only thing that's going to happen when you tell someone is that you'll find it harder to drink in secret and that's exactly what you're after. Tell your partner, tell your doctor, go to AA, pick one and get started. You'll be ok.

Edit to say: Screw feeling ashamed, really, screw it. Alcohol is addictive. People get addicted to it. You're not a bad person or a weak person or someone who needs to feel ashamed, you just can't handle an addictive substance. It happens & it just so happens that it's an addictive substance that makes you lose control of yourself and feel like hell the next day. You're no different to someone who can't stop smoking and like people who can't stop smoking the only thing you can do is stop completely.