Misophonia...is there a cure??

sashafierce

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Big Bag of Chips

I can't help you but I sympathise with your bf! I hate noisy eaters with a passion. And even normal chewing can make my skin crawl. Can you have background noise on when you are eating? TV? Radio? Do you occasionally chew with your mouth open?

I lost it with my friend's husband one day! I know them pretty well, so felt sort of comfortable saying it! He is the noisiest eater I've ever heard. Always chews with his mouth open, and usually talks too! One day I was in their house and he came in and sat right beside me with the biggest plate of food I have ever seen. He proceeded to chew, suck his fingers, talk etc right at my ear. I asked him to chew with his mouth closed.. His response was "how the fk do you do that?". So he obviously thinks he chews the same as everyone else... And he really really doesn't!

Background noise is the best advice I can give you, and just be really really sure you don't chew with your mouth open or unnecessarily suck while you are eating (!)

sashafierce

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Big Bag of Chips

Ah here!!! A Crunchie?? Go into another room!!! Some foods are noisier than others and are best avoided when sitting close to someone.

A banana for example, even though it's soft, makes the most horrible noise when it's eaten... Like a sloshy noise or something. Unless you are being a bit noisy, your bf is being unfair. And he needs to learn to be more tolerant of "normal" noise. Sometimes I notice if I'm tired or irritable every bite someone takes annoys me. Some foods are silent to eat, some aren't. You need to become more considerate of each other and what you eat around each other.

I don't know if there's a cure... Is there a cure for people who hate the sound of grinding teeth? Or nails scraping down a blackboard?

Monife

OMG, I didn't even know this was a phobia or that there was a name for it. The sound of others eating irritates me to no end, I hate it. It is one of my biggest pet peeves.

The most annoying part of it is if someone is eating while you are on the phone to them, like put the food down for 2 minutes if you want to chat, so annoying! Or talking when eating, nothing is ever urgent enough that has to be said while eating.

Big Bag of Chips

The fella that I was talking about in the post above rang me one day while he was eating something. I hung up on him. A quiet eater is noisy on the phone when they are literally in your ear! A noisy eater is just hell!!!

OP, if your bf is just irritated by it, I don't think he needs to be "cured". Noisy eating is bad manners. Simple as. He shouldn't have to be "cured" so that others can chew away without basic manners! I know you say you aren't overly noisy, but even the fact that you mentioned a Crunchie makes me think it doesn't bother you as much as others. It doesn't mean others have to be "cured" though. We just rather not listen to chewing or crunching Crunchies!!

sashafierce

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Ed Winchester

OP are you my wife!! Because that's exactly describing my situation at home. I get very very irritated by noisy eating, drinking, breathing etc and since i am with my wife more than anyone else, she bears the brunt of my annoyance. I've often said to her that the problem is me, not her because i let it annoy me so much.

But it appears to be a very common issue.

Monife

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

The fella that I was talking about in the post above rang me one day while he was eating something. I hung up on him. A quiet eater is noisy on the phone when they are literally in your ear! A noisy eater is just hell!!!

Many an argument has been had between my mum and I over her eating while on the phone to me!

OP, I would suggest putting up with the irritability from him if you want to eat noisy food items, increase the background noise/tv volume or don't eat noisy things in your boyfriend's company. The sound of you eating is more annoying to him than the feeling you get when he is throwing you evils.

sashafierce

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sashafierce

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CantonasCollar

Misophonia isn't a phobia. It is a psychological condition that makes you sensitive to sound, eating sounds in particular.

I suffer from this and it makes every day extremely difficult. I'm lucky that I don't seem to have too extreme a case. I would struggle to sit in the company of a noisy eater and may have to get up and leave the room. Others simply cannot cope and it can end up with violence.

I have 2 children and the eldest talks from the minute she awakens to the minute she goes to sleep. At times I have to take a break because the constant noise becomes overwhelming.

I have done a fair bit of reading on this subject hoping to read about a cure, but it eludes me. At times I could scream at someone because of the noises they are making but you can't, at the end of the day its not their fault that I suffer with this. Most of the times the noise wouldn't even register with others, but to me its unbearable.

Background noise can sometimes help, or talking over the noise I find helpful. Unfortunately OP this isn't going to go away for your bf, he needs to work on not over reacting to noise. I would also advise that when he needs to that he gets up and leaves the room rather than starting an argument.

My wife also says that I am a noisy eater, but I honestly never hear myself.

sashafierce

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CantonasCollar

sashafierce wrote: »

These three things are what make it so difficult.

Wont admit its his problem
Wont leave the room just throws dirty looks and starts arguments
Like him you probably are a "noisy" eater, in that its impossible to eat and not make some noise!

The sooner he realises he has a problem the better for everyone, him especially. I had never heard of it and just happened to be reading the paper and there was an article about it, as soon as I read the first para I knew it was exactly what I had been suffering for a long time, my wife sent me a link to the same article about 5 minutes later thats how obvious it was.

Maybe a gentle nudge might open his eyes.

CantonasCollar

sashafierce wrote: »

These three things are what make it so difficult.

Wont admit its his problem
Wont leave the room just throws dirty looks and starts arguments
Like him you probably are a "noisy" eater, in that its impossible to eat and not make some noise!

The sooner he realises he has a problem the better for everyone, him especially. I had never heard of it and just happened to be reading the paper and there was an article about it, as soon as I read the first para I knew it was exactly what I had been suffering for a long time, my wife sent me a link to the same article about 5 minutes later thats how obvious it was.

Maybe a gentle nudge might open his eyes.

looking_around

sometimes cbt (with someone experienced in treating auditory perception..not your common depression counsellor who offers cbt), can help.

Alot of it, is the associations developed with the sounds, rather than the sounds themselves.

There is also "re-training" therapy that can be used as well.
(similar to that for hyperacusis, but also not well known, nor widely available.)

The CBT, if it's something he wants to change, may be worth looking into. If the CBT therapist is used to helping people with sensory disorders they should be able to gear the therapy to him.

I need to add, that it won't cure it, sounds are always going to bother him, but it might help him manage it. Other possible "treatments" are listed here and he might like to research them. http://www.misophonia-association.org/Potential_Treatments.html

I'm currently on a waiting list to see a doctor (for hyperacusis) that told me if find out any treatments I want to try to go to him. I'm saying this, because they're not widely known, and he'll have to do alot of the leg work himself.
___
Also OP, it's also going to be something that always affects your relationship and perhaps you'll just have to eat separately? or ask/tell him when you're about to eat so he can either leave or prepare himself for the sound.

lynchieboy

The guy next to me in work whispers what he is reading sometimes, I find it almost unbearable I have to leave the room, the sound of someone eating drives me insane, the sound of someone cutting their nails in public is a killing offense, it mostly stems from habits that my father had, if I think someone is making an effort to not make noise while eating I don't find it too bad but no matter where I sit or go someone will inevitably sit or stand next to me with some disgusting habit. I didn't even know there was a name for this condition until the Moncrief show the other day I thought I was just a bit cranky.

JuliusCaesar

looking_around wrote: »

sometimes cbt (with someone experienced in treating auditory perception..not your common depression counsellor who offers cbt), can help.

I'll second that.

A properly trained and qualified CBT therapist should be able to help. How to find one? See here.