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2 Day wedding-Saving the Halloween theme for Day 2

  • 20-09-2014 7:57pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26


    Hi there,

    I have been engaged for 1 year and my boyfriend and I have been putting wedding planning on the back burner due to the fact that we keep changing our minds on what we want to do. We want to have a semi traditional day but we also want to incorporate our favourite time of year, Halloween and go all out (within the budget)

    So, we have had a brainwave. We're thinking about having a 2 day wedding over the October Bank Hol. 2015? 2016? Depending on how much things will cost.
    Day 1 - Semi -traditional day with a black & gold theme with subtle hints of All Hallows Eve but nothing too in your face.
    Day 2 - Halloween themed party, fire eaters, people on stilts outside, tarot readers, contortionists inside, starting in late afternoon, fancy dress, Halloween cake, more of a rock feel to the music, All out party really.

    I'm hoping for some advice/ opinions on my idea to do this? Has anyone done a 2 day party? Has anyone had a Halloween theme? Did people participate? Do you find that a lot less people go?


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    My advice, don't do a two day party. You're just putting more expense on your guests and yourselves.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,957 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    January wrote: »
    My advice, don't do a two day party. You're just putting more expense on your guests and yourselves.

    +1

    Especially if you're having one day semi-traditional and one day fancy dress. Basically the guests will not only have to fork out for an outfit for the first day, they'll also have to put together a costume for the second day. You'd probably find you get a lot of declines for the second day.

    Also, if you don't mind my asking, what sort of budget are you talking about? The stuff you've planned for the second day will cost an absolute fortune.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26 LadyMeowMeow


    Thanks for your reply.
    I had thought of that and was considering having an open bar for the 2nd day and I'm looking at a local venue that would not be out of the way for the majority of my guests so I was hoping that this will cut costs for my guests.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26 LadyMeowMeow


    Hi Toots,

    I am not sure about the budget just yet. We have savings and I have recently come into some extra money that I can use too. I have some friends who are in that line of work and know people so I might be privy to a discount! This is the thought. Once I find out how much everything things might change..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,779 ✭✭✭✭fits


    Hi Toots,
    . Once I find out how much everything things might change..

    That is for sure...


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26 LadyMeowMeow


    Yeah..Cheers.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    I got a quote for fire eaters and stilt walkers for my wedding... These are the prices from one company, this was without VAT (and subject to a 100 euro premium per performer because I was having my wedding on NYE)

    Acro Balance Duo - €900.00

    · Aerial Acrobat – Silks , Hoop or Trapeze - €900.00

    · African Ground Acrobat Trio - €1,300.00

    · Fire Breathers €500.00

    · Magicians €490

    · Caricaturist €490

    · Human Statue €580

    · Mime Artist €580

    · Samba Drummers €450

    · Electric Confetti Machine €350

    That's for 1.5 hours.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,939 ✭✭✭ballsymchugh


    January wrote: »

    · Human Statue €580

    · Mime Artist €580

    i'm in the wrong job.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26 LadyMeowMeow


    Wow, January. Thanks a million for that. That sounds like a wedding I would have loved to have gone to! Did you go with that in the end? I don't think I would be looking for even half of that for the next day but food for thought.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    Way out of my budget unfortunately but it was a nice idea! That and they'd have wanted the fire breathers outside and on a freezing cold NYE I doubt people want to be dragged out into the cold for something like that.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    BTW my wedding isn't until this NYE :)


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,957 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    Hi Toots,

    I am not sure about the budget just yet. We have savings and I have recently come into some extra money that I can use too. I have some friends who are in that line of work and know people so I might be privy to a discount! This is the thought. Once I find out how much everything things might change..

    Honestly the first thing I'd do is actually price how much this is all going to cost you. There's no point coming up with ideas etc without knowing it's something you can or can't afford, otherwise you might get your heart set on something that's completely unaffordable and then you'd end up disappointed.

    If it was me, I'd forget about the second day and try to incorporate the halloweeny theme into the main day. There's loads of ways you can do it and have it look really elegant and classy, but yet you can still have a halloween vibe.

    You could do lovely table centrepieces with pumpkins and autumnal flowers etc.
    You could have the pumpkins as jack-o-lanterns but instead of carving a face in, you could carve the table number instead.
    Place cards would be very easy to customise and make halloweeny.
    A sweet table could be stocked with the likes of candy corn and other halloween goodies, and you could call it the trick or treat table, you could even have little trick or treat bags for people to put their food in.
    A halloween wedding cake would be awesome. Again, lots of beautiful options out there without it looking garish.
    You could have halloweeny bouquets like this, this, this, or my personal favourite this
    The black and gold theme would work well with the table and chair covers - black chair covers with gold sashes, or you could use a dark coppery colour too.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    First off I was like no ditch the second day.

    Then I saw you're doing a free bar and I was like okay that's good.

    But then I thought about it some more. I cannot do two day parties in a fit these days.

    I like the suggestions of the poster above.

    Another idea would be that you and your groom, and anyone else change into costumes/fancy dress around 11pm.

    And get the dj to play thriller :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭kandr10


    Toots wrote: »
    Honestly the first thing I'd do is actually price how much this is all going to cost you. There's no point coming up with ideas etc without knowing it's something you can or can't afford, otherwise you might get your heart set on something that's completely unaffordable and then you'd end up disappointed.

    If it was me, I'd forget about the second day and try to incorporate the halloweeny theme into the main day. There's loads of ways you can do it and have it look really elegant and classy, but yet you can still have a halloween vibe.

    You could do lovely table centrepieces with pumpkins and autumnal flowers etc.
    You could have the pumpkins as jack-o-lanterns but instead of carving a face in, you could carve the table number instead.
    Place cards would be very easy to customise and make halloweeny.
    A sweet table could be stocked with the likes of candy corn and other halloween goodies, and you could call it the trick or treat table, you could even have little trick or treat bags for people to put their food in.
    A halloween wedding cake would be awesome. Again, lots of beautiful options out there without it looking garish.
    You could have halloweeny bouquets like this, this, this, or my personal favourite this
    The black and gold theme would work well with the table and chair covers - black chair covers with gold sashes, or you could use a dark coppery colour too.

    Those are excellent suggestions!! I agree with most, make the reception more Halloween-y. The 2nd day sounds like loads of fun but you might end up with a smaller attendance than you'd like and the big entertainment might fall flat. People will say they'll go to 2nd day events and drop out at the last minute so it's hard to rely on numbers. You should get some entertainers at your wedding reception though. That'd be great Craic (if you've the budget obviously).


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8 Salid


    The second day sounds amazing but like a lot a money and also hassle for guests. I'd incorporate the Halloween theme into the actual day and maybe you could add on a fire breather or something on the evening?
    Then if you still have guests around the next day do a low key lunch or dinner


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 819 ✭✭✭Beaner1


    Nobody wants to go to a two day wedding. Bury that idea.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,381 ✭✭✭893bet


    Free bar?

    It will fit with the Halloween theme as it will be Rest in Peace to your wallet.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 483 ✭✭marialouise


    Beaner1 wrote: »
    Nobody wants to go to a two day wedding. Bury that idea.

    Speak for yourself! Maybe not everybody wants to go to a 2 day wedding, but not "nobody".
    Maybe it's just be because I never went to a pre-Celtic Tiger wedding, but I don't see the problem with a second day if you're having it close to home.
    I do think it'll be very difficult to get people into costumes and it is definitely an added expense, so I do think making the reception like a halloween party is a great idea, but I don't see everyone getting changed at 9pm!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,858 ✭✭✭homemadecider


    I'd hate an invite to a 2 day wedding. The day after a wedding is meant for hangovers, sleeping and pizza... not another bloody wedding party. Do your guests a favour and keep it to 1 day.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,381 ✭✭✭893bet


    I love the second day of a wedding. Much more relaxed and craic I find. I only go to close family and close friends though.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Two day weddings are fine ans long as the second day is more "evening / night" activities instead of "daytime" activities


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 97 ✭✭Starrgrrl


    I love the second day of weddings. Always more relaxed and less formal. I'm having one myself. Local pub, trad music chip van and no pressure. It's an optional extra! If people want to go they'll go. If not, that's fine too.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Starrgrrl wrote: »
    I love the second day of weddings. Always more relaxed and less formal. I'm having one myself. Local pub, trad music chip van and no pressure. It's an optional extra! If people want to go they'll go. If not, that's fine too.

    Well you sound like you've got a good attitude "no pressure". It's the unfortunate fact of matter that some people don't like the send day.

    Myself I hate a second day. I'm wrecked and hungover and I no more want to go out again. I want to go home and relax for the day.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,301 ✭✭✭Gatica


    I enjoy the second day. It's usually fun and casual. If it was themed it would probably be more difficult to source a second outfit though. However, for Halloween lots of us would have dressed up anyway, so I guess it's not a bad idea. I just think it depends on the age of your crowd.
    If they're mid-20's, no kids, brilliant. Mid-30's, not so much. If we attended a wedding like that 5 years ago, I know most of our friends would participate in the second day. Now that many have kids, they barely make weddings, never mind second days.


  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Actually that is something you should take into consideration OP -the age demographic of your guests.

    If your guest list is predominately couples with children you may not get a great uptake on the second day, which would be a shame if you went to great expense.

    Even if money was'nt a consideration, it can be hard enough to find someone to mind your child for a 24hr period, let alone 48. Even if you allowed kids the next day, it wouldnt work for those who travelled and kids are at home - they wouldnt make the trip back to get them and return if it was a bit of a trek.

    Similarly, you might find that older generation would consider the second day to be a day for 'the young wans on the cure'.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,658 ✭✭✭Milly33


    Perhaps you could keep the second day to just close family who as such will be hanging around anyway..

    Or I think just once you let people know in advance that there will be an option of a second day your fine.. Like the idea of a Halloween party but the cost alright for costumes might be a extra for guests. You could instead just get a face painter in or something like that so they do not have to worry, or give a low budget dress code..

    Id say going all out with the stilt walkers and that, is nice if ye can afford but I don't think ye will need it.. As most have said a lot of people will be recovering so they will probably surface late. Even knock it down to fireeaters or something, some nice bonfire with stories and sparklers think simple as people will want to relax

    Still it all comes down to what ye want


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    Beaner1 wrote: »
    Nobody wants to go to a two day wedding. Bury that idea.

    Especially on a bank holiday weekend. Two day weddings are OTT in my opinion. Just incorporate the Halloween theme into the wedding day itself, OP.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,494 ✭✭✭Sala


    I was at a two day wedding recently, day 2 was lovely and while lots of guests left after day one if say at least 80 stayed and did and while second night of partying. I don't think it's fair to say no one like them. In my opinion family and close friends will want to stay while maybe work colleagues or those who left kids at home will leave


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 189 ✭✭Hold the Cheez Whiz


    Are rehearsal dinners common in Ireland? The Halloween theme/party seems like that could be really fun for the night before, especially if there are children coming.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭Tarzana


    Are rehearsal dinners common in Ireland?

    Pretty much unheard of. They always strike me as OTT, and must be a very costly extra for the marrying couple or their parents. Seems unnecessary, who needs to rehearse dinner?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    Tarzana wrote: »
    Pretty much unheard of. They always strike me as OTT, and must be a very costly extra for the marrying couple or their parents. Seems unnecessary, who needs to rehearse dinner?

    We had the ceremony rehearsal the night before with the bridal party and immediate family. We all then went for dinner back at the hotel and chatted til near midnight, it was a nice way to settle nerves before the whole thing. It's rarely an actual rehearsal of dinner if that makes sense.


  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Tarzana wrote: »
    Pretty much unheard of. They always strike me as OTT, and must be a very costly extra for the marrying couple or their parents. Seems unnecessary, who needs to rehearse dinner?

    I got it wrong then! I always thought it was a rehearsal in the church or ceremony venue - who stands where, finding out your cues from the celebrant, and then the dinner afterwards was just a follow on from that. Do some people actually rehearse the dinner? I have a really funny image in my head of a heap of adults eating imaginary food :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    Neyite wrote: »
    I got it wrong then! I always thought it was a rehearsal in the church or ceremony venue - who stands where, finding out your cues from the celebrant, and then the dinner afterwards was just a follow on from that. Do some people actually rehearse the dinner? I have a really funny image in my head of a heap of adults eating imaginary food :pac:

    Americans do!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 189 ✭✭Hold the Cheez Whiz


    Neyite wrote: »
    I got it wrong then! I always thought it was a rehearsal in the church or ceremony venue - who stands where, finding out your cues from the celebrant, and then the dinner afterwards was just a follow on from that. Do some people actually rehearse the dinner? I have a really funny image in my head of a heap of adults eating imaginary food :pac:
    January wrote: »
    Americans do!

    I'm American, and I've been to many rehearsal dinners, and they tend to be more the former than the latter! But some people invite all of the out of town guests to the dinner part, and that's where it can get expensive (although the norm is for the groom's family to host the rehearsal dinner). Many people keep it pretty low key though (pizza, barbecue at someone's house), and it is a nice way to catch up with people before all of the activity of the wedding day.


  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    January wrote: »
    Americans do!

    Whaaaat??

    "ok, now you lift your knife and cut into your imaginary beef, add a bit of imaginary carrot to your fork and put in your mouth. Chew it seven times, and swallow"

    :pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 830 ✭✭✭cactusgal


    January wrote: »
    Americans do!

    Uh, no we don't.

    The USA is a massive country and families/close friends often lives miles apart, and don't get to see each other often. The rehearsal dinner is a chance for them to spend more time together. The wedding party does a quick run-thru (rehearsal) of the ceremony in the church and then close friends and family join them for dinner.

    It's usually a day or two before the wedding, to give people more time to hang out. It's essentially the same idea as the "second day" bbq at some Irish weddings, but with a smaller group, just the nearest and dearest, so I don't know why people would consider it OTT.

    My brother had a buffet dinner at an Italian restaurant for the bridal party and family/extended family from Ireland and it was a lovely, chilled night with amazing food!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭Tarzana


    cactusgal wrote: »
    It's usually a day or two before the wedding, to give people more time to hang out. It's essentially the same idea as the "second day" bbq at some Irish weddings, but with a smaller group, just the nearest and dearest, so I don't know why people would consider it OTT.

    Well... lots of people consider the next day shindig OTT.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,301 ✭✭✭Gatica


    cactusgal wrote: »
    My brother had a buffet dinner at an Italian restaurant for the bridal party and family/extended family from Ireland and it was a lovely, chilled night with amazing food!

    That's the same idea for the second day as well. Usually bit of finger food or buffet and hanging out with the closest family and friends. Some people don't like the idea because it may put pressure on people to attend and spend even more money.
    Naturally if you'd have been there anyway because you had to travel or wanted to spend time with your brother, then that's different.

    We had a second day back in our hometown with finger food and wine. A few people that weren't able to come to the wedding came there, and congratulated us. It was really nice to see them. Also family that travelled from abroad was around the extra day anyway and it was the perfect way for everyone to meet up again without the rigmarole of "the wedding" and just chat and then hug and kiss goodbye. I'd have really hated to have missed out on that time with my family, because it really was very special to us.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 332 ✭✭fiona-f


    I also dislike two-day weddings but that's a personal thing. In your specific plan though, I would say Halloween is very definitely a big day for people with children so I imagine they would be very unlikely to attend even if their kids are invited - kids would prefer to go trick or treating in their own area, with their friends.

    The entertainmemt you have planned also sounds very elaborate and catering for very specific tastes - personally I wouldn't enjoy that type of circus-style entertainment and I don't know whether it would be popular amongst my group of family and friends either and so it would be wasted on my social circle. Think carefully about your demographic, it would be very disappointing for you if you invested a lot in a theme that doesn't excite tour guests.

    Second days are more about socialising and talking anyway so do you really need external entertainers?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,096 ✭✭✭xalot


    I think toots had great suggestions about making the actually wedding Halloween themed but still keeping it classy. I love the idea of personalising the ceremony/reception to fit in with your interests / personality.

    I like second days of weddings when they're chilled out and accommodating to my hangover, however the thoughts of getting dressed up in a halloween costume and all that effort would tip me over the edge the day after a wedding!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,494 ✭✭✭Sala


    Tarzana wrote: »
    Well... lots of people consider the next day shindig OTT.

    I'm not sure about this. The last three weddings I was at had second day events and I'm sure more people stayed than left. Also the second day can be used to accomodate people who have travelled rather than leaving them alone the next day. Very often close family and friends don't want to leave after one day- last wedding I was at with family form abroad staying etc the brides parents had taken 3 weeks off work. They were well up for a party and of say they would have all stayed beyond day 2. Out of the three weddings I only missed one 2nd day and that's because I had exams. To be fair, given enough notice Id probably row in for a 3 or 4 day wedding!! But maybe that's just me :-)

    But I don't think there's anything wrong with a 2nd day once it's easy going i.e. leave the day after if you want to / have to, if you don't, we're having a BBQ. IMO Most people who have a second day are fully aware some people will go home and don't hold it against them at all, but also want to do something for the close family friends and people who have travelled


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭Tarzana


    Sala wrote: »
    I'm not sure about this.

    I didn't say everyone. And it probably depends on the wedding. But a lot of people just want to go home the next day.

    I think if there's going to be a second day thing, it should be low effort to attend as many people will be nursing sore heads. Having to dress up in a costume just sounds hassley.


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