Being Mocked in Office

LegacyUser

I can't really believe I'm having this problem, much less that I'm sharing it like this, but here goes anyway!

Basically, I think I might be in a bullying situation. I started a contract job at the beginning of the summer. I share an office with three others. One of the others, in particular, has been giving me flak for a while. It's all presented as a joke, and I did laugh at the start, but it's wearing thin now (and the others in the office are well aware of it). The jokes are related mostly to my religion, the fact that I am younger than the others, and the fact that I did well in school/ university (two of the others constantly imply that I never go out, spend all my time working etc. - I must say that honestly, that doesn't bother me, I would rather be successful at this stage than piss away the next few years, but they still seem like unfair comments).

One of the others in the office sits there passively, not getting involved (thanks!) and the other person has joined in with the original "joker". Like I said, all of the things they say are presented as jokes, but I think it's quite clear I'm not really enjoying the "banter" anymore, and I'd like them to lay off.

I don't want to report them to my supervisors - I really don't want to be seen as unable to work with my co-workers. I want repeat work with the company, and I don't want to seem like someone who complains/ requires extra attention. (I know that all sounds wrong, but it's business.) I feel like it will irrevocably change the atmosphere of the office if I try and lay down a marker, and say things have gone too far. I'm not sure if I want that either.

Any advice on what to do would be appreciated!

Penny Tration

If you don't want to involve any management, I'd suggest that each time they start their crap, say something like 'lads, will ye change the record, you're just being annoying now.' it's making it clear that you're sick of it.

gerbilgranny

Not a pleasant scenario for you.

But you said that others in the office are well aware of it - and that's something.

I think I might be tempted to just smile (with a semi-sincere smile) when the silly individuals picked on me, so that they'd get little or no benefit from their nasty remarks.

Hope you find some useful advice from other replies.

ivytwine

Be literal. Ask them to repeat it. Say, "Excuse me, I don't understand? I didn't hear you. I don't get it etc."

People will rarely repeat these ****ty 'jokes' if they're met with that kind of resistance.

Also, if they are making jokes about your religion, they are playing with absolute fire. If you were so minded you could make notes of all incidents, take them to HR and they would face very strict sanctions.

smcgiff

How do they know what religion you are?

If you don't want to make a complaint then you need to tackle it yourself. Talk to each of the individuals separately and before they get a chance to discuss your approach amongt themselves without them all being approached and explain you don't think it's funny and you expect them to act professionally. Hope it works out.

Finally, no need to (thanks!) the passive guy, you need to sort it out.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice. It's amazing how upsetting these things can be when they build up - I cried the other night, I could hardly believe it, but I did!

Do you think it would be an idea to take a two track approach - try the "change the record" idea, but also make it clear that I'm noting anything said in relation to things like my religion, and I would be ok with that having serious consequences for everyone involved if things continued? (I wouldn't actually, as noted above, but I think I can pull that white lie off!)

One concern I have is laughing along at the start (thinking it was all a kind of getting to know each other jokey scenario) - does that amount to "leading on" the joker(s)? Would that have implications for how I approach things?