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Making friends in college?

  • 19-09-2014 10:22am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have always been curious to know whether I am doing something wrong here,

    but in my first year at another college, (transferred to a new one now) people used to ask me if I was going out to this event/party, etc. But I used to always say no, because I had no one to go with.

    I found it hard to get into groups in my year and make friends, and loads of people just did it naturally, and the people who ask me are the ones in groups already, it's just that it would be just friendly banter in the class.

    But I have always been wondering when your in college, even if you are a bit of a loner, are you still expected to go out to college events and nights out on your own, or are some people just ask for the sake of it?

    Because I hate saying no, in case it made me look like I was not into socialising, but if I did just turn up completely on my own at a nightclubs for a night during RAG week, for example, I'd be afraid in case my classmates were actually shocked and were expecting me to have a friend with me at least.

    I am also a female in my early 20s, and I find that girls my age makes mates so much easier than the guys.


Comments

  • #2
    AlabamaWorley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 122 ✭✭AlabamaWorley


    My advice is just try get talking to everyone (or anyone)

    In the past I've asked people if they were heading out and if I could join - it is nerve wrecking making friends, but the more you get talking the easier it will be. It may feel uneasy to almost invite yourself along but if they are nice girls (or boys) they wont mind!

    and I always notice that if you chat to people outside of college hours, you will bond more!


  • #3
    miss no stars
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,957 ✭✭✭miss no stars


    I'm naturally quite reserved, but over time I've learned that that just won't cut it if I don't want to be sat on my own. You HAVE to be forward. The obvious opportunity is when people ask if you're going to a party.

    "Oh I was kinda hoping to go but I don't actually know anyone else going. Are you going?"

    "yeah, I was going with X, Y and Z"

    "Oh cool, would you guys mind if I tag along?"


    The reality is, OP, that everyone is just as nervous when they go into a class full of people they don't know. You just have to be very forward about getting to know people. Not easy if you're naturally introverted or not naturally at ease chatting with people, but hey ho, it's a skill you'll need all the way through life so do your best now to push yourself and that way settling in to new groups (even more daunting in the world of work where most people will already know you and you'll be the odd one out as a newbie) throughout life will become much more second nature.


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