University

LegacyUser

Hi all just looking for some opinions on this.

I'm in my early 30's and studying a construction related degree. I've just completed my 2nd year and failed all my exams. The back story to this is complicated so please be patient.

I suffer from depression due to being sexually abused as a child. I have attended counselling but that's finished now as my counsellor retired. I had the option of seeing another counsellor but chose not to as I feel I've covered 80 to 90 percent of the work that I need to and didn't want to start again with someone else. I'm meant to be going to group counselling but that hasn't happened yet.

The academic year just gone was complicated. My Grandfather died on my birthday back in October, I missed the first few weeks of college as a result. When I went back I had lecturers on my back about missed work. My depression overwhelmed me as I felt crumpled by the pressure when I went back. All in all I missed the first 5 weeks as a result of my Grandfather's death. My Grandfather's death hit me pretty hard. It's strange as we didn't have a good relationship. He was a chronic alcoholic and I had a ton of issues with him. They never were resolved. it's a shame but sometimes that's the way life is. During the year my depression got the better of me and I lost this one, my GP puts this down to me not having time to grieve. First year wasn't so bad I had depression during it but I managed to come away with a weak 2:1 at the end of it. Actually, I should mention I had the option of repeating my 2nd year exams but didn't as I didn't feel mentally strong enough to do them.

So I was talking to the head of my course, I'll be meeting him to discuss what I should do over a coffee next week, he knows I suffer from depression. I was talking to him on the phone and I was asking him what options I have, he's telling me to leave the course and do something else!

I know it sounds mad but it's true. I've come to know him as well as a student and lecturer can. He's explained that he suffers from his own mental health issues and for the sake of my own mental health I should choose another career. It's not the first time he's mentioned it either. I approached him back in April explaining the difficulties I faced and he said the same thing at the time, do something else.

I have a bit of a problem as such as I don't know what to do. I'm on back to education and I'm contacting them to see if there is any room for manoeuvre, just so I know where I stand.

Just to add another twist, I attended university when I was 23, it ended up being an absolute disaster. I was trotting along in my 1st year of a course that overall I enjoyed and my Dad had 2 strokes very close together. He was a taxi driver and I ended up taking over his taxi. It was a ridiculous scenario I was working nights and trying to do college during the day. Neither was done well. It went on like this for years with me unable to pass my 1st year and repeating the course. This was on top of all the hurt and pain I was dealing with internally from the child abuse. I know that's heavy going! It was for me typing it as well.

Do I love what I'm doing now, no. I always wanted to be a civil engineer but I'm not able for the physics side of it. :-( Do I overall enjoy what I do, I'd give a weak yeah to that. The only thing I would consider switching to is a business degree, but that means losing the time and energy I've invested.

So all in all I'm very confused and unsure what to do. Any comments are welcomed, thank you.

Pigeon Reaper

I've always been of the opinion that you must enjoy what you're studying. This way putting in extra work isn't a chore and you'll make time from it as it will be a source of enjoyment. From what you're describing this doesn't seem to be the case with your current course and your lecturer may be seeing this.

Do you really wish to continue with this course and work in this field? Excluding the two years you've invested in the course is there any other reason to continue?

If you find something you truly love studying you may find it easier to continue and work at it even while you're having difficult personal issues.

LegacyUser

Sorry to hear that. Maybe college isn't for you, is there a particular reason you keep paying money for courses you are unable to complete ? Why not just start off at the ground level and work your way up via experience

As for a business degree, there is a lot of accounting on those courses, a lot, as many as 2 modules a semester for 3 years, I would consider an alternative to college if I was you...again sorry for your losses.

Rubberchikken

You've gone through a lot and while you say you've covered almost all you need to in counselling, maybe you need to deal with the remainder.

Could you speak to your gp?
There's no point in doing something you have no interest in and while you say you find physics difficult, could you do the engineering course and get extra help with the physics?

You've come through a lot and will, no doubt, come out the other end stronger.
Good luck

LegacyUser

Everyone, thanks for the replies, they're much appreciated

So I met with my lecturer today, the guy's an absolute gent, very helpful. He said he sympathised with my position and understands where I'm coming from. The reason he's trying to put me off the course/career is because, as he says, you have all the responsibility of a project, cost, timing and general ****-ups but none of the control. This then means people from above you are shouting at you about things over running on cost and schedule, while people on site are constantly shouting for more resources. From a few other things he said it sounds like an absolute disaster of a job for someone suffering from depression.

The good thing is that he offered me a few options. The first is take the failed modules externally go working for the year and then go back next year. We would meet once a week to discuss my progress, or the lack of it, and remedy the situation as best as is possible. The second is to take a job I applied for as an estimator, you have all the control and take none of the responsibility after the first shovel gets turned on site. He personally vouched for me , I couldn't ask anymore of him! The third is to switch to two other courses that are similar where you have more control on work situations and resources.

So I'm going to have a think and hopefully everything works out well. One thing I must do for the future is figure out my depression triggers and work out a strategy for dealing with them. I've neglected this as I've really struggled through my counselling.

Bafucin

So I was talking to the head of my course, I'll be meeting him to discuss what I should do over a coffee next week, he knows I suffer from depression. I was talking to him on the phone and I was asking him what options I have, he's telling me to leave the course and do something else!

So I met with my lecturer today, the guy's an absolute gent, very helpful. He said he sympathised with my position and understands where I'm coming from. The reason he's trying to put me off the course/career is because, as he says, you have all the responsibility of a project, cost, timing and general ****-ups but none of the control. This then means people from above you are shouting at you about things over running on cost and schedule, while people on site are constantly shouting for more resources. From a few other things he said it sounds like an absolute disaster of a job for someone suffering from depression.

Your lecturer is a lecturer and not a civil engineer. What subject does he teach? What degree are you specifically doing? B.Eng. B.A.Sc./B.Sc.? Even is civil engineering is mentioned in the postnominals you still have a vast choice of careers and environments.

Your lecturer's description is not really what an engineer does that is more of what a project manager does. You might not even come into contact much with a project manager depending on the field you go into.

Civil Engineering is a world of creating things that others say can’t be created. Civil engineering doesn’t end with creating elaborate buildings, though. It can be broken down into a number of other disciplines, which deal with transportation, urban design, water resources, earthquakes, the environment and coastal areas.There are many different specialities, Structural engineering,Geotechnical engineering ,Environmental engineering,Materials engineering,Water resource engineering,Coastal engineering,geophysics, geodesy, control systems engineering, earth science, atmospheric sciences, forensic engineering and many more.

Geophysics, Geodesy and Geotechnical engineering. Geodesy is the measurement and representation of the Earth, including its gravitational field, in a three-dimensional time-varying space. Geotechnical engineering is the branch of civil engineering concerned with the engineering behavior of earth materials. Geotechnical engineering is important in civil engineering. You would be dealing with the raw material end of construction.

In engineering you could be dealing with phenomena or mathematical modeling or anything. Control systems engineering is very multi-disciplinary in nature, control systems engineering activities focus on implementation of control systems mainly derived by mathematical modeling of systems of a diverse range. You don't have to be a project engineer who support the PM at all as a civil engineer if it is not for you. Forensic engineering deals with investigations to locate the cause or causes of failure of materials or systems with a view to improve performance or the life of a component, or to assist a court in determining the facts of an accident even. It can also involve investigation of intellectual property claims, especially patents. Earth science and Atmospheric sciences are about the observation of phenomena and civil engineers in these specialties often go around educating companies even.


Basically what I am saying is there is virtually no way that your lecturer can have the faintest idea of what your working environment is going to actually be like at this point. Your horizon is vast. Civil engineers have to come up with solutions to complex problems and implement them; they literally shape the world we live in.There are many different specialisms within civil engineering, including environmental, structural, municipal, transport and geotechnical.

I would ask you this question, are you a creative problem solver? You need a versatile problem solving mind. And you need to be able to switch off. And yup you need maths and physics and all the logic and formulae.

You need to develop a healthy competition mindset. You are only in competition with yourself and that way you can be healthily competitive and keep yourself at the best of your abilities without putting yourself under unbearable unhealthy pressure.

Your lecturer is not a healthcare professional and is not therefore able to evaluate your potential or issues in that way at all. It was not his place to say. He is not really giving you a correct picture anyway. For most engineers there's no such thing as a typical day, that's part of what is so great about it. You apply universal scientific principles to real life situations it amazes me sometimes. To become a civil engineer you will need excellent maths and IT skills. But don't let others limit you. Engineers solve problems and overcome obstacles it's in our nature.

Get some professional support for your mental health teachers helping you might be well meaning but they don't necessarily know what they are doing.

Best of luck OP.

LegacyUser

Pigeon Reaper wrote: »

I've always been of the opinion that you must enjoy what you're studying. This way putting in extra work isn't a chore and you'll make time from it as it will be a source of enjoyment. From what you're describing this doesn't seem to be the case with your current course and your lecturer may be seeing this.

Do you really wish to continue with this course and work in this field? Excluding the two years you've invested in the course is there any other reason to continue?

If you find something you truly love studying you may find it easier to continue and work at it even while you're having difficult personal issues.

Hey PR, exactly, you've hit the nail on the head. I should be doing something I enjoy. I've been doing a fair bit of thinking and looking at my Leaving Cert. I'm not naturally inclined towards maths or science, and I don't gain joy from them, I have a basic competent, but definitely no joy there for me. Unfortunately these are core criteria for being a civil engineer.

So I'm not going to be going back to my course. originally I chose it I thought it would be something I enjoy as it's in the construction arena. When it comes to the nitty gritty it's not for me.

I need a think about what I enjoy and what I want to do. Thanks for the advice.

LegacyUser

Annonymous14 wrote: »

Sorry to hear that. Maybe college isn't for you, is there a particular reason you keep paying money for courses you are unable to complete ? Why not just start off at the ground level and work your way up via experience

As for a business degree, there is a lot of accounting on those courses, a lot, as many as 2 modules a semester for 3 years, I would consider an alternative to college if I was you...again sorry for your losses.

Thanks.

I changed my GP a few years ago. When I went for anti-depressants she asked me why I wanted them, I explained the abuse and whatnot. She referred to an amazing Psychiatrist, Dr. Yolanda Ferguson. It was Dr. Ferguson who recommended that I do a course to gain some skills, keep my mind busy and the rest of me busy. With the recession in full swing there were no opportunities. So I headed off and completed a PLC course, it went well and I felt the best plan was to carry on. I put my past academic failures behind me and things went reasonably well until now. That's why I ended back in college. I also thought it was a good idea as the competition is fierce these days, everyone has a degree. Even for menial jobs your talking about people having a degree. It's nuts!

As well, when I was college the first time there was a lot of pressure on me to get a good degree from my family. So I just kept going. I'm not sure if you suffer from depression, I find this hard to explain to people who don't suffer from it, those that do seem to get it. I actually was 'happy' that I had a place to go and a reason to go there, it helped me maintain some 'normal', and I use that word loosely, semblance of a life.

You know I'm tempted to work somewhere and work my way up but as it stands I'd get the sack for not being there during my really bad patches.

I get what you saying and it's good advice but I'm not sure if it's best for me at the moment. The conclusion I've come to is that I need to get back to counselling.

LegacyUser

Rubberchikken wrote: »

You've gone through a lot and while you say you've covered almost all you need to in counselling, maybe you need to deal with the remainder.

Could you speak to your gp?
There's no point in doing something you have no interest in and while you say you find physics difficult, could you do the engineering course and get extra help with the physics?

You've come through a lot and will, no doubt, come out the other end stronger.
Good luck

I've come to the conclusion that you're correct and that I need to get back into counselling. Plain and simple as that.

A trip to my GP is on the cards during the week. I've changed my medication this summer to something that,as she said, 'should alleviate your problem'. The real problem though is that I haven't dealt with all the issues surrounding my abuse and until that is done things won't be as good as they should be.

Regrading the engineering, I've wrote in a post up further that I need to re-examine things as I don't enjoy the core skills that a Civil Engineer needs. So I really need to take a bit of time to figure things out.

The worst of it is that I want to get back out working, I detest that I need assistance and that I'm not able to stand on my own two feet at the moment.

Thanks for the encouragement!