work collegue treating me unfairly.

Amprodude

I work with a group. 4 women and 3 men including myself. All of group get on very well. However one of the women i work with treats me unfairly. She gets frustrated if i ask her a question whereas when other people ask her questions she doesnt lose head and acts normal. Today she was rushing to get a machine on within a certain time and i just offered friendly advice by saying she has 20 mins to get it on so take your time. I wasnt sarcastic or anything. She turned around and said sssssh. I walked over to her on the spot and said to her "Did I say something out of order?" She then said she didnt want the engineer who was in room to hear it. I really didnt know what was up with her. She gets narky and treats me like sh@t when she gets frustrated. I cant take it so i dont lie back either. Now some of the group have turned against me too just because i have answered back this woman. I have struggled with self confidence before and would never tackle a work collegue even if they treated me poorly. Now i believe in myself and wont see myself getting wronged.


Should i just ignore this collegue from now on?

azul

Not a nice person. Sounds like a bit of passive agression going on there. Good you believe in yourself otherwise someone like that could destroy you. Ignore the bitch and make it clear she has no controll over you with her behaviour. Always smile : )

tenifan

There's a personality clash here. She gets irritated if you ask her a question, but maybe she perceives the way you're asking them as confrontational.

You think you're whiter than white and this woman is in the wrong, yet your workmates who turned against you obviously feel your confrontation was out of order.

Chill for a minute and don't make things worse for yourself. She clearly doesn't want much to do with you so don't give her friendly advice, and try asking other people questions rather than her.

gugleguy

I had a female colleuge that way as well. No matter how explicit and detailed an answer a question I gave her she had a habit of saying in a deliberately bewildered and confused tone, 'I still don't understaannnd' Long time ago now. She treated a few close friends in the job well. At one point because she found I was good at Photoshop she wanted me to airbrush out somebody out of one of her holiday photos. I refused pretending I didn't have he ability. Glad I refused ever since. Haven't heard what happened her in a long time.

If someone is rushing for a deadline I don't think that's an appropriate time to start trying to have a conversation about "was I out of order" and what you perceive as standing up for yourself. She's there to work and I am sure she knows well enough what time she does or doesn't have

I don't know about the questions thing but maybe ask yourself if you're being too confrontational or something else and maybe just drop it

Jim2007

Amprodude wrote: »

Today she was rushing to get a machine on within a certain time and i just offered friendly advice by saying she has 20 mins to get it on so take your time. I wasnt sarcastic or anything. She turned around and said sssssh. I walked over to her on the spot and said to her "Did I say something out of order?" She then said she didnt want the engineer who was in room to hear it.

If this is typical of your behaviour then it is no wonder she gets annoyed!!! When someone is under pressure to deliver the last thing they need is this kind of thing! If others in the group are siding with her, then perhaps you need to examine your own behaviour......

Amprodude

Jim2007 wrote: »

If this is typical of your behaviour then it is no wonder she gets annoyed!!! When someone is under pressure to deliver the last thing they need is this kind of thing! If others in the group are siding with her, then perhaps you need to examine your own behaviour......

It was not intentional, i only tried to put her at ease as she was rushing her job and only told her to relax basically. Rushing the job only causes errors and i only want to put her at ease. Didnt mean it in a bad way if it came across like that. Im not saying im right or anything as i have my fair shape of faults and i may not be correct in what i said and did but in fairness she is out of order too.

Amprodude

Jim2007 wrote: »

If others in the group are siding with her, then perhaps you need to examine your own behaviour......

She is good friends with them. I only work with them.

December2012

Why did you think your words would put her at ease though?

They wouldn't, they would annoy her. As she then said she feels that you saying that could have caused her a problem if an engineer heard, so to her, you were getting her into trouble.

It's not up to you to put her at ease. Without more information, her job is nothing to do with yours. What you may perceive as being friendly she may perceive as being annoying or rude.

Separately, if somebody is getting annoyed at you for asking questions, it could be for the following reasons;

1. She had already told you
2. It's not up to her to answer your questions
3. She was about to get to it and you've already interrupted / pre empted a question
4. You won't do what she says so why bother answering
5. You should know the answer.
6. You're asking inappropriately / at the wrong time / way.

These reasons are all things within your control. Of course there are other possibilities that relate to her, but she's not asking for advice - you are,

Amprodude

December2012 wrote: »

Why did you think your words would put her at ease though?

They wouldn't, they would annoy her. As she then said she feels that you saying that could have caused her a problem if an engineer heard, so to her, you were getting her into trouble.

It's not up to you to put her at ease. Without more information, her job is nothing to do with yours. What you may perceive as being friendly she may perceive as being annoying or rude.

Separately, if somebody is getting annoyed at you for asking questions, it could be for the following reasons;

1. She had already told you
2. It's not up to her to answer your questions
3. She was about to get to it and you've already interrupted / pre empted a question
4. You won't do what she says so why bother answering
5. You should know the answer.
6. You're asking inappropriately / at the wrong time / way.

These reasons are all things within your control. Of course there are other possibilities that relate to her, but she's not asking for advice - you are,

At work i have often been offered advice from collegues and i have taken some on board depending if its if benefit or not in the situation. Next time i will tell them STFU i know my job, But then that will look bad on me. Ok most people here feel i shouldnt have said anything and thats fair enough. Point taken but what im trying to say is i didnt mean it to cause offense and if someone was to ssy the exact ssme to me i wouldnt mind but everyone is different i guess.

Amprodude

Amprodude wrote: »

She gets frustrated if i ask her a question whereas when other people ask her questions she doesnt lose head and acts normal. Today she was rushing to get a machine on within a certain time and i just offered friendly advice by saying she has 20 mins to get it on so take your time.

You weren't asking her a question - you were telling her what to do.
To me you are coming across a bit aggressive, offering advice where it wasn't needed or wanted.
Let her do her work and she won't bother you.

pauliebdub

Amprodude wrote: »

Today she was rushing to get a machine on within a certain time and i just offered friendly advice by saying she has 20 mins to get it on so take your time.

It's best not to pass unnesessary comments to someone you dont get on with. If they dont like you its possible that they will take the comment the wrong way. Its best to remain calm, polite but firm when dealing with someone like this. Starting a confrontation just looks bad and will work out against you. Unless she is bullying you or obstructing your work there is not a lot you can do.