Guardianship

indigo twist

I have an eight month old son, my partner isn't interested in becoming a guardian.

I know that my parents are officially the guardians, but I'd like to have something in writing for when the time comes, to avoid any confusion. Basically to state that they have full responsibility and rights.

How do I go about this?

indigo twist

By the way, my parents are only too happy to accept the responsibility. My partner isn't willing to accept it now, but I've a feeling he'll suddenly want to be responsible all of a sudden when the time comes.

December2012

Is your partner the child's father?

Are you in an actual relationship?

indigo twist

Yes he's his father, and yes we're in a relationship. I know it's strange, but for reasons unknown to me, he does not want any legal relationship with the boy.

December2012

If you want to make your parents guardians if you die then you should make a Will. You can appoint them Testamentary Guardians.

Speak with a solicitor to do this.

Does your partner want to be a parent to the child?

Big Bag of Chips

OP, is there a reason that you think it is inevitable that something will happen to you and you need to sort this out? I ask because you use "when the time comes" instead of "if..."

Is it possible that your partner just feels nervous at possibly being a single parent and feels he couldn't possibly cope with children on his own? My husband said that in the early days of our first child, that if anything happened me he'd want my parents to take our son. Now, he might need a lot of help and support from them, but there is no way he could ever consider handing our children over to anyone else, should something happen to me. He has grown in confidence in his role as a father. Maybe this is where your partner is coming from?

LegacyUser

Personally, I'd be seriously rethinking my relationship if my baby's father officially wanted nothing to do with her.

Why are you committed to him when he won't even commit to his own child?

pwurple

The answer is to make a will, which every parent should do anyway. Ask solicitors for quotes, it's usually less than 150 euro.

You'll need to identify guardians, trustees and executors. (They can all be the same, or can be different).

I suspect your partner is confused about what guardianship entails, and think you are trying to 'trap' him in some form... Instead of what you are actually doing, which is giving away your rights to him.

LegacyUser

It's good to sort your child's guardianship but I'd also be concerned about your wording: "When the time comes"

I know everyone is different but my partner (and I think any loving father) would be devastated at the prospect at not having a say in our daughter's upbringing.

OP, have you reason to believe that you may not be around for your son in the near future?