Permission

Classicporter

Do you have to ask your partner for permission to go on a night out?

I was trying to organise a night out in work during the week and the number of lads who couldn't give me a simple yes or no answer was astonishing, they had to "run it by the missus" apparently. For me life is too short for that crap, if you want to go out then go out. You shouldn't need permission.

Mariasofia

Classicporter wrote: »

Do you have to ask your partner for permission to go on a night out?

I was trying to organise a night out in work during the week and the number of lads who couldn't give me a simple yes or no answer was astonishing, they had to "run it by the missus" apparently. For me life is too short for that crap, if you want to go out then go out. You shouldn't need
permission.

Im guessing you're single, yeah?

wazky

I'd advise them to retrieve their balls from the partners handbag, pronto.

Classicporter

Mariasofia wrote: »

Im guessing you're single, yeah?

No have a girlfriend, if I want to go out then I go out. She's not my mother and I'm not a child.

castletownman

Hahahahaha. No

Panthro

Sounds like they all fobbed ya off brah.
Lol, sucks to be youuuu!


Soz, I mean...bad times.:(

Westernyelp

its not asking permission. its good manners to run your plan by your partner first.

Shakespeare's Sister

What kind of insecure saddo would need to give approval to their partner having a night out?
Although sometimes there may be legitimate cause for them to check, e.g. if their partner already has plans (which obviously makes a difference if they have children) and they might just be messing with the whole "I'm whipped" thing, but sometimes it can be plain auld getting bossed around.

groucho marx

You teh man op

Westernyelp

Classicporter wrote: »

No have a girlfriend, if I want to go out then I go out. She's not my mother and I'm not a child.

you sound like a right catch

anncoates

Classicporter wrote: »

I was trying to organise a night out in work during the week and the number of lads who couldn't give me a simple yes or no answer was astonishing, they had to "run it by the missus" apparently.

They probably just want to go out drinking without you.

Classicporter wrote: »

For me life is too short for that crap, if you want to go out then go out. You shouldn't need permission.

Good call on their part.

shruikan2553

I wouldn't even use that as an excuse to get out of something. Better off saying something that keeps your dignity in tact.

wazky

shruikan2553 wrote: »

I wouldn't even use that as an excuse to get out of something. Better off saying something that keeps your dignity in tact.

Something like "I've a sex toy rammed up my rear and I can't remove it" would be more dignified.

Classicporter

Westernyelp wrote: »

its not asking permission. its good manners to run your plan by your partner first.

If they haven't been told of plans yet by their partner then they should be able to "book in" their own first. When their partner tells them about some plan for the same night then he can either say sorry I already have plans or cancel his original plans.

Yeh the permission thing is something that bugs the crap out of me. I know lads who aren't "allowed" out. Seriously. Allowed.

Grrrrrrrr. Nerve officially hit :P

Shakespeare's Sister

Mariasofia wrote: »

Im guessing you're single, yeah?

I don't think he means "Just letting you know I'm heading out Thursday night with work" which is a pretty standard thing in a relationship, I think he means "Can I go out with work Thursday night?"

Esel

Going out... not back... avenge death.

anncoates

Hard to say sometimes though.

I have known friends that have been genuinely pecked like that. Sometimes (in my experience) though it's ether lads that are pushing it with their partners leading to unreasonable stances or people that are pissed off because responsibilities mean friends are not as flexible for nights out and the blame gets magically projected onto a supposed harridan partner.

Shakespeare's Sister

My dad always says "I'd better check with herself first hur hur" even though he knows full well she won't mind. It's sometimes just a jokey "lads banter" thing.

But by god do I know some lads who are totally whipped.

Classicporter

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

My dad always says "I'd better check with herself first hur hur" even though he knows full well she won't mind. It's sometimes just a jokey "lads banter" thing.

But by god do I know some lads who are totally whipped.

Yea I think some use it as a convenient excuse as it'should so common it's believable.

Electric Sheep

Classicporter wrote: »

Do you have to ask your partner for permission to go on a night out?

I was trying to organise a night out in work during the week and the number of lads who couldn't give me a simple yes or no answer was astonishing, they had to "run it by the missus" apparently. For me life is too short for that crap, if you want to go out then go out. You shouldn't need permission.

Most likely they meant that they had to make sure there were no prior commitments as wives are usually the family calendar keepers.

Classicporter

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Most likely they meant that they had to make sure there were no prior commitments as wives are usually the family calendar keepers.

That's nearly as sad.

Pawn

Classicporter wrote: »

Do you have to ask your partner for permission to go on a night out?

Not 17 years after saying "yes".

AnonoBoy

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Most likely they meant that they had to make sure there were no prior commitments as wives are usually the family calendar keepers.

Exactly.

When you're married or living with someone you sometimes need to check that there's nothing on that night that you're supposed to be doing.

A christening, dinner with friends, your own wedding - y'know that sort of thing that could slip a fellow's mind.

I've never been in a relationship where I felt the need to ask 'permission' to meet friends.

I have arranged to meet friends and then been reminded that we've got a prior engagement.

anncoates

If I'm going out after work for a few jars or after a match, I always 'ask' my mot if it's OK.

It's not begging permission or it's hardly as if she's going to forbid me. It's a courtesy as she'll be putting the kids to bed herself or might have put on something to eat for me or might have something in mind to do.

It's rude to just say you're going out on the piss as a fact. You wouldn't text a friend and say you'll be calling at their house in an hour. You'd ask if it's OK to call even if you know asking is a formality.

Super-Rush

I always ask mammy if i can go out.

Duggy747

I have to ask the GF can I go out because she has the remote to the electric dog collar on my neck

The Purveyor of Truth

Know a few who need to, of both sexes but also know a few who pretend they do, just to not have to deal with saying no themselves.

AnonoBoy

Classicporter wrote: »

That's nearly as sad.

Why so?

In a lot of relationships one person will have a better memory for that sort of thing and inevitably they wind up being the one who keeps track of stuff like that.

It's not really sad, just how life goes.

I do what I want,
When I want,
With whoever I want.
Sometimes, I don't do anything, that's my own decision too.

I love being single😀

anncoates

Classicporter wrote: »

That's nearly as sad.

I think your problem is probably more that people can't drop everything to suit you at a given time so it suits to demonize some rolling pin wifey stereotype.

December2012

I overheard my husband saying that to a friend of his years ago - "yknow mate I'd love to meet you for a pint but I'd better check with herself first".

He actually referred to me as "herself", which was charge number 1.

And charge number 2 was when I found out he told his mate he couldn't make it. He didn't refer specifically to me, but did give a "ah yknow yourself like".

We had no kids yet, and I didn't give a toss about whether he went out!

But it was easier to blame me than say no himself.

I. Was. Fuming.

AnonoBoy

bubblypop wrote: »

I do what I want,
When I want,
With whoever I want.
Sometimes, I don't do anything, that's my own decision too.

But it's not really whoever you want though?
She still won't return your texts will she?
Don't worry bro.
I know how you feel.

Classicporter

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Why so?

In a lot of relationships one person will have a better memory for that sort of thing and inevitably they wind up being the one who keeps track of stuff like that.

It's not really sad, just how life goes.

I think it's a bit sad when someone isn'the aware of their own plans, that sort of dependency is for young children.

Bang_Bang

Me and my mates all are married with children, back in the day, (15 years ago) we would have gone out a couple of times a week without asking "permission". Now the priority for all of us is our wives and children. My kids have various activities during the week and at the weekend that I have to attend. Same goes for my friends, so "running it by the missues" is what I would do first, just so my drinking plans with the lads would not interfere with the daily running of the family home.

These days we would only meet up twice a year at most, if even that. OP have a few kids, then see where your priorities lie.;)

AnonoBoy

AnonoBoy wrote: »

But it's not really whoever you want though?
She still won't return your texts will she?
Don't worry bro.
I know how you feel.

I'm a girl!!

Classicporter

Bang_Bang wrote: »

Me and my mates all are married with children, back in the day, (15 years ago) we would have gone out a couple of times a week without asking "permission". Now the priority for all of us is our wives and children. My kids have various activities during the week and at the weekend that I have to attend. Same goes for my friends, so "running it by the missues" is what I would do first, just so my drinking plans with the lads would not interfere with the daily running of the family home.

These days we would only meet up twice a year at most, if even that. OP have a few kids, then see where your priorities lie.;)

I do have kids, I know what needs to be done in advance. If someone invites me out I know if my time is already alloted elsewhere. If I already have plans I tell them I already have plans.

Menas

If there are kids in the relationship then perfectly understandable to check at home before committing to a night out.
If no kids then perhaps it is just a courtesy check with the other half? Nothing wrong with that really.
In my case, before kids, I always checked with Mrs Happy as I have a terrible memory and used to double book myself a lot. She is much more organised than that.

Rabbo

Deleted User wrote: »

Yeh the permission thing is something that bugs the crap out of me. I know lads who aren't "allowed" out. Seriously. Allowed.

Grrrrrrrr. Nerve officially hit :P

You can't blame the girls for being a little possessive when another girl asks their boyfriend out...

Bang_Bang

Classicporter wrote: »

I do have kids, I know what needs to be done in advance. If someone invites me out I know if my time is already alloted elsewhere. If I already have plans I tell them I already have plans.

Your opening OP gives the impression that you just píss off for pints without talking to your significant other

Classicporter wrote: »

Do you have to ask your partner for permission to go on a night out?

I was trying to organise a night out in work during the week and the number of lads who couldn't give me a simple yes or no answer was astonishing, they had to "run it by the missus" apparently. For me life is too short for that crap, if you want to go out then go out. You shouldn't need permission.

I would always ring the missus if I was asked to go out with the lads. Purely out of common courtesy and not to feck up any schedules with the children.

So yes If the lads ask me to go out for pints, I'll run it by the missus first, she is the one that remembers everything.

the_syco

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

What kind of insecure saddo would need to give approval to their partner having a night out?

Usually the ones who use their other half as a calendar, as they can't remember what they had promised to do. But there's also a fair few women who'd slap him if they heard them blaming her for not going out as she'd be of the opinion that he should go out. That and she could get the girlies around.

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

Know a few who need to, of both sexes but also know a few who pretend they do, just to not have to deal with saying no themselves.

This is sometimes the case, but often it's because one half lets the other half plan everything for sake of ease.

crazygeryy

Panthro wrote: »

Sounds like they all fobbed ya off brah.
Lol, sucks to be youuuu!


Soz, I mean...bad times.:(

What does brah mean?i looked it up but it's not in the English dictionary.

Classicporter

Bang_Bang wrote: »

Your opening OP gives the impression that you just píss off for pints without talking to your significant other



I would always ring the missus if I was asked to go out with the lads. Purely out of common courtesy and not to feck up any schedules with the children.

So yes If the lads ask me to go out for pints, I'll run it by the missus first, she is the one that remembers everything.

There's a difference between asking for permission and letting them know about your plans.

jimgoose

Any system of good government is going to comprise the House of Lords and the House of Commons, the coalition parties and a Loyal opposition, as well as several ministries, with the admittedly limited staff holding multiple portfolios. This is necessary to at least present the illusion and tapestry of democracy. In reality of course, as Sir Humphrey would put it, good government has nothing to do with politics but in all probity we can hardly say so. I trust that clears matters up. :cool:

Irishcrx

Yes and no really , we have a 2 year old so while I woulnd't ask her 'permission' to go out I'd run it by her before saying yes or no in case she had plans already that I'd forgotten , or was in work etc etc and I needed to be at home with him.

If I knew there was nothing on then I'd just tell her I'm going out Saturday , and I wouldn't mind if she did the same.

jimgoose

Irishcrx wrote: »

...we have a 2 year old so while I woulnd't ask her 'permission' to go out I'd run it by her before saying yes or no in case she had plans already that I'd forgotten...

Aye. Quite the little Stalins, some of these two-year-olds... :pac::pac::pac:

If it's a courtesy check or "i need to check if he/she has arranged something already" then that sounds okay

It does wind me up a bit sometimes though especially if you think they'd know already if they're doing anything. sometimes i swear it's just an excuse not to meet up. in which case just tell me you dont feel like it ...

everlast75

Running something by your partner can be a matter of interpretation.

As someone with a SO, I see it as common courtesy and good manners. I expect the same of her when she is heading out.

From someone single's perspective, I can understand their view that it is just another example of the disadvantages of being single, and in a way it is. But in my opinion the pros outweigh the cons for certain.

I never refer to it as "seeking permission" or bad mouth her to my mates. In fact, I'm very lucky to have a considerate partner who has never given me the silent treatment or gotten p*ssed off if I head out. If there are a few times in a row that I am heading out and she isn't, I'd make sure to arrange something for the two of us.

I hate when I hear men going on like the 1970s, referring to their partners as "herself" or even worse "her indoors" and complaining about what they can't do. If she is that bad, aren't you the bigger fool for marrying her.

nelly17

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Exactly.

When you're married or living with someone you sometimes need to check that there's nothing on that night that you're supposed to be doing.

A christening, dinner with friends, your own wedding - y'know that sort of thing that could slip a fellow's mind.

I've never been in a relationship where I felt the need to ask 'permission' to meet friends.

I have arranged to meet friends and then been reminded that we've got a prior engagement.

Yeah me too its normally X factor or a Dr Phil catch up

AnonoBoy

nelly17 wrote: »

Yeah me too its normally X factor or a Dr Phil catch up

It's all go in the Nelly house I see.

Tiddlypeeps

If we had kids and my partner decided to go for drinks without running it past me I'd be a bit pissed. It's not that he'd have to ask for permission to go out, it's that he wouldn't have asked me if I'm ok taking care of the kids on my own for the night. I would imagine 99 times out of 100 it'd be no problem at all, but the odd time for whatever reason I may not be up for minding the kids on my own so it'd be a dick move to just assume it's fine and force that responsibility onto the other without checking.

We don't have kids, so himself can do whatever he likes as long as we didn't already have plans. A text to let me know that he's in the pub and not dead would be nice, but not required.