Shyness and awkwardness

LegacyUser

Awkwardness/Shyness
Hey everyone

I have been officially going out with my girlfriend for about 2 months now (seeing each other since the start of summer though after being friends for the last year) and I can't work some things out in my head at the moment.

Most of this whole 'relationship' situation is completely new for me, I have never had a girlfriend before (I am 20). I am a little quiet normally, and over the past few weeks I'm starting to become paranoid that it is disrupting my relationship. We have things in common no doubt, it's just that I am not very good at initiating conversation with people in general. I think this partnered with my nerves over this being my first real relationship is making me awkward in front of her, which frustrates me. We are in the same course in college and have gone back to lectures this week for the first time since we started going out and.. Quite simply I just don't really know how to act with in front of our friends.

My reserved nature gets me down sometimes, as I used to be more happy and outgoing when I was younger. This changed quite a lot during secondary school, and I suppose it has knocked my confidence. I found it hard to make friends last year in first year in terms of connecting with people through mutual interests.

Can anyone offer tips on overcoming my shyness/social awkwardness? I try every day to work on it but am finding it difficult at the moment, and don't want to project my waves of insecurity (which I guess is what this is) onto my girlfriend in case I push her away. At this stage of my relationship should I feel this nervous/awkward? Is it normal? Because it affects the way I behave, talk to her and how I am when we are intimate.

I don't know if this is more a relationship issue or a personal one but I feel it is more the latter, which is why I posted it here.

Rubberchikken

She was/is your friend. She agreed to bring it to a new level in becoming your girlfruend. So she definitely likes you and the kind of person you are.

You might be right in that you're overthinking it a bit but that's only natural.
Make an effort to just relax with her and as time goes on it'll get a whole lot easier.
Take care

dr.bollocko

When you say you have tried to work on it each day, maybe give yourself a daily goal. Perhaps strike up a conversation where you otherwise wouldn't have. Doesn't have to be with her. Just small things to test putting yourself out there more.

LegacyUser

Thanks. I think part of my problem is that I'm naturally quiet with everyone, even those I am closest too, and am perpetually afraid of coming across as boring or passive when in fact I actually have a lot to talk about. I therefore worry that people, including my girlfriend, will get bored of me before long.

LegacyUser

Hey.. I thought similarly when I first started going out with my girlfriend. Maybe open up to her a little bit about how you are just a bit nervous? If you've been going out for long enough you should be able to be honest with her in telling her how you feel