Unruly youths

dr strangelove

So there is a gang of unruly youths sitting on my garden wall, distracting me with their modern music, loud clothes and loose morals.

It's Sunday afternoon, and they are distracting me from my nap time. I've tried looking at them with my best "you damn kids, get orf my laaand" stare, and even resorted to going outside and waving my walking stick at them, but they just laughed and taunted me.

I even went so far as to play Motorhead loudly, but they just danced to it, and said it was "groovy, ganddad".

How can i get rid of of these meddlesome children?

indigo twist

Frickin yoofs

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Spray paint "Paedo" across your own front door.

Un Croissant

Have you quoted Clint Eastwood yet?

Celly Smunt

The Cunning Linguist wrote: »

Spray paint "Paedo" across your own front door.

No no no,he said he wants them to go AWAY.Peados=sweets.

Donkey Oaty

Put some books or job application forms on your wall.

They won't go anywhere near those.

Me?

Ask them politely to move on. If that fails hit the biggest one with a hammer.

Pumpkinseeds

Have you tried shouting 'get off my fcuking wall or I'll shove my fcuking stick up your fcuking holes ya little ****?

Ruu

Ask them which one of them likes the taste of human flesh!

It is essential to take out the leader first.

The Purveyor of Truth

Open the front door and play this at full volume:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT4-UcTkc-A

Raminahobbin

Stand in the doorway of your house with your t-shirt pulled up and your belly hanging out. Circle your belly-button slowly with one index finger, and do your best sleazy grin as you stare at them.

Alternatively, run at them bashing pans together and barking like a dog.

spurious

Play some Wagner.

Nino Brown

Get yourself some acetone, peroxide, sulfuric acid, a bag of fertilizer, a good sized piece of steel pipe.....wait, how attached are you to your front wall?

BBDBB

play some classical music at them


or buy one of those devices that plays a high pitched whine that only teens can hear

Mariasofia

spurious wrote: »

Play some Wagner.

Nah young'uns love the x factor....

is mise spartacus

Le garden hose

Nodin

dr strangelove wrote: »

So there is a gang of unruly youths sitting on my garden wall, distracting me with their modern music, loud clothes and loose morals.

It's Sunday afternoon, and they are distracting me from my nap time. I've tried looking at them with my best "you damn kids, get orf my laaand" stare, and even resorted to going outside and waving my walking stick at them, but they just laughed and taunted me.

I even went so far as to play Motorhead loudly, but they just danced to it, and said it was "groovy, ganddad".

How can i get rid of of these meddlesome children?

With religion. Holy water in one hand, hefty solid statue of the virgin in the other. Throw the water in their eyes, then lay about them with the statue.

Tzardine

This happened to me one year. Load of emo feckers hanging around my wall.

I went to them and said if they could defeat me in a water fight they could stay whenever they wanted.

They were no match for my kettle.

Rubberchikken

Play some Cliff Richard music.
Even i'd run.

gugleguy

Clobber the alpha male first. Then go into Clint Eastwood spaghetti western mode. Get a bed blanket beforehand for the act, sombrero might be hard to get.

The_Valeyard

Sit outside wearing a clown costume and a large sledgehammer in one hand. When their drugs kick in, they will really freak out.

gugleguy

Valeyard, I go one better, OP put on your harlequinn suit. Then take the sledgehammer.

mikemac1

Contact the local Sinn Fein councillor to sort out some kneecappings

gugleguy

Mariasofia wrote: »

Nah young'uns love the x factor....

Tell the alpha male of the gang that you're going to phone Simon Cowell, and he 'll travel over and put paid to their miscreant behaviour.

SimonTemplar

DrGreenthumb

Wave your fist at them in anger and every day get a bit closer till your fist meets one of their face's

fineso.mom

Go out and sit on the wall with them and try to engage them in conversation. Throw in a few hashtags and lols,,,kids hate grown ups using their lingo ,,they will soon move on.

DazMarz

Empty the contents of your deep fat fryer over the top of the wall. This will stop them sitting there.

Satriale

1.poop in a bucket and mix in water to a consistency of paint.
2.Paint the wall
3.?????
4. Profit

nullzero

Anti climb paint on the wall should work a treat.

Mr.Crinklewood

Kill them.

PizzamanIRL

Go out and sit with them. They won't want sit with you. You're old.

wazky

Tell them you're not a registered sex offender and would they like to come in for tea.

MadYaker

Do you have speakers? Point them at them and play this really loud and go visit your friends for a few hours.

I had a delightful housemate once who left that blaring from a guitar amp is his locked room while he went to college for the day.

Sarn

Expanding on some of the suggestions above. Strip down to your underwear, old yellow Y-fronts ideally, smear yourself with your own excrement and then go out and start talking to them, offering to shake their hands. Problem solved.

Senna

Ask them how is their relationship with GOD, I'd run from that conversation.

ToddyDoody

Head on over to one of their houses and sit on their wall

Angry_Mammarys

Do poos all over your wall.

Tzardine

Is there anything to be said for saying another mass.

Tail Docker

Get yourself a bigger unruly youth and have him tell them to feck orf. I have a few spares if you need a lend. Very reasonable hourly rates. Well, I say reasonable..

chrissb8

Put barbed wire on your wall or tar the wall they sit on. Or cover the wall in dogs**t. It will be traumatic and disgusting. At the same time go out and tell them to f off and not to come back. They'll know you have no depth or boundaries to what you're willing to do to get a lil nap in. Or just hose them.

Tail Docker

..waits for this to catch on and produce an epidemic of smelly, shyte encrusted suburban walls....

dr strangelove

**Update**

So i played a little prank on them, video here, (possibly NSFW) and apparently i have to pop down to the Guards real quick.
Probably just some misunderstanding......

The_Valeyard

dr strangelove wrote: »

**Update**

So i played a little prank on them, video here, (possibly NSFW) and apparently i have to pop down to the Guards real quick.
Probably just some misunderstanding......

So you did see my earlier post.... :P