Can't speak on the phone

skinny_guy

I have recently got a job that requires a lot of communication over the phone. While I am ok at communicating face to face I am very nervous when I'm on the phone. I seem to lose my breath when I'm talking to someone and my voice gets very shaky.

In my previous job I did not put my contact number at the end of my email so no one could contact me via the telephone.

However I don't think I'll be able to get out of it again. I have such a fear of telephones and I'm worried that I won't be able to handle the job. Please help!

RZoran

Do you talk to friends/family on phone?

skinny_guy

RZoran wrote: »

Do you talk to friends/family on phone?

Yes I do, it seems to only affect me in work situations or when I'm on the phone to people I don't know very well

Rubberchikken

As the phone rings, take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Then answer it.
The person on the other end doesn't realise that you feel nervous, so try not to let it bother you and the more you answer it the easier it'll get
Good luck

P_1

Try not to overthink it (I know far much easier said than done!) just try to go into autopilot mode with it as time goes on. Otherwise you'll end up with a "three foot putt of doom" type of scenario whenever the phone on your desk rings. It'll get easier for you with practice. Just remember that you owe the person on the other end of the line anything.

usersame

skinny_guy wrote: »

I have recently got a job that requires a lot of communication over the phone. While I am ok at communicating face to face I am very nervous when I'm on the phone. I seem to lose my breath when I'm talking to someone and my voice gets very shaky.

In my previous job I did not put my contact number at the end of my email so no one could contact me via the telephone.

However I don't think I'll be able to get out of it again. I have such a fear of telephones and I'm worried that I won't be able to handle the job. Please help!

Have a chat with your GP, they'll be able to help.

Mr. RED

Hey brah! I wrote on another thread recently regarding telephone calls and it was just to say how 90% of communication is non-verbal; so it's understandable if you're not comfortable on the phone.

I'm not an expert; on anything (Maybe that's a bit harsh) but IMO you could try to develop what I like to call the - "F*** it; I know this isn't ideal but I can do this; I am capable" approach.

When the phone rings; instead of worrying - raise your eyebrows in a cocky manner and say -

Is that the "I don't give a single f***" ringing" ?

Here! let me answer it!!

And pick up the phone say "Hello this is..how may I." in the tone of "Hello. Not a single f*** will be given today..how may I help you?"

This mightn't be the greatest advice; or maybe it is; I don't know - but I guess I could just as easily have written nothing.

Good luck brah!

sandra_b

Practice. Ring random numbers - customer services etc and ask questions. Doing something you are afraid about on purpose will give you great power.

stop animal cruelty

l use to be like that - its just gonna take time and practice to get use to it.

When l use to work with phones, l had an awful habit of panicking, thoughts going thru my head, not wanting to pick up the phone etc when l did pick it up - l hadnt a clue what they were saying or what they wanted, because my thinking blocked me from actually listening to them. So l started to tell myself stop panicking and just listen.....concentrate on listening, that way l was able to give whatever message it was to my boss and l began to get more confident.

Try not to think too much into it, listen and just try your best! Remember it takes time, you will get use to it

forgot to add - l use to dread ringing doctor hairdresser etc for an appointment cause l would be so awkward and just agree with whatever they were saying (like giving me an appointment on a day that wouldnt suit but would still take cause l just couldnt say no!!) any it was only yesterday l realised how far lv come with talking on the phone. Was looking up cars on done deal, next thing there l was on the phone talking away to the seller.....l didnt think about...l just did it, without thinking!

ongarboy

OP, I think it's something you are going to have to address, firstly, to be able to do your job competently and progress in it or other future jobs but more importantly, to remove the stress and anxiety of anticipating that moment when you'll have no choice but to conduct phone calls. Right now you can get away without publicizing your contact number or responding via alternative communication but that will not always be the case.

Being honest, I'm not the most naturally social person and am rather introverted but a significant aspect of my job is hosting conference calls by phone with participants from various countries and cultures. I would have found it quite intimidating chairing such phone meetings, fearing how others perceive me on the call, did I say the wrong thing, did I sound confident, did people pick up that I was nervy maybe? I can still feel like this sometimes to an extent but practice and getting through it and rationalising about the perceived problems does make it easier all the time.

This is where perhaps Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) might assist you address this fear as you will be given specific strategies by your therapist on how to deal and cope with the scenario that is causing you such stress until such scenarios no longer are a problem for you. (eg helping you not to magnify the potential negatives or how to stop catastrophizing).

Tele-communication will continue to be an important feature of working with colleagues, particularly as more companies go global, your clients and customer base become more global and more colleagues work offsite/remotely etc so popping over to one's desk or having all required parties present in the room will be less common a means of getting business done.

errlloyd

You're not alone OP. I despise it. I find making restaurant reservations difficult.

I know this might sound weird to you, but I've always found it more natural hands free. I use a headset like all the time on the phone.

RZoran

I think you will overcome it once you get used to it. I message and text so much now even I feel weird sometimes when I am on the phone. Not that it is directly related but I have read The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking by Dale Carnegie which has been out for decades but is still used as primary book in many public speaking courses. Public speaking includes learning to think ahead and use limited notes to keep a conversation going. So I could see how it would help even if it was on the phone. Quick read too.

strobe

Just an idea off the top of my head really... But as you're OK with face to face, maybe it'd help if you closed your eyes (or stared off into space) and visualised someone in front of you (actually call up an image of what you think they'd look like, and picture their lips moving as they speak etc) that you were actually speaking to in person?

Mr. Loverman

sandra_b wrote: »

Practice. Ring random numbers - customer services etc and ask questions. Doing something you are afraid about on purpose will give you great power.

Came here to say this ---^

An accepted way of treating phobias is to make people face their fear.

shoos

Hi OP,

I had the same issue with a new job I started last year. I didn't even realise I had a problem speaking on the phone until I started the job but I felt like you do, shaky voice, out of breath etc.

I'm quite an anxious person overall so I guess that's why it happened to me. But to be honest, it improves and it really improves a lot faster than you think it will. I thought I would have to quit and now I've been in the job 12 months. I'm not 100% comfortable (especially when there are people around listening) but I'm definitely comfortable enough to get by. I found that over the first couple weeks you'll just have more and more successful conversations and then that will quickly become the norm and the expectation when you're dialling, while the nervous calls may still happen the odd time but to a much lesser extent.

So definitely hang in there. Have faith in yourself, if I got through it and can handle it then so can you

GreeBo

If you are making the calls write down everything you need to say or will need to know.
I am quite similar, I get an irrational fear that I will forget my DOB or mobile number for example.
I write it all down and it relaxes me for the call.