What do people think if she gap ?

zxcvbnm1

There's a girl I like - shes 26 - I'm 38. Is that too big an age gap to merit asking her out in a date?

Would people consider if a little weird ?

CaraMay

No it's not weird

Rubberchikken

Don't think so.
All you can do is ask.

ted1

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

There's a girl I like - shes 26 - I'm 38. Is that too big an age gap to merit asking her out in a date?

Would people consider if a little weird ?

If you were 28 and her 16 then that would be wrong. But at 38 and 26 your both consenting adults, so no problem at all with it.

The unwritten rule is half your age + 7. So that puts her within your range.

J_E

There are bigger gaps out there that work. It's a matter of mental age and connection really.

Shakespeare's Sister

The unwritten rule is half your age + 7.

Why do people actually give any credence to the above non logical, arbitrary thing? Why seven, why not eight or six?

Consenting adults, both like each other, sorted.

If the age gap causes an issue in terms of life stages, well cross that bridge when it's arrived at.

Emme

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

There's a girl I like - shes 26 - I'm 38. Is that too big an age gap to merit asking her out in a date?

Would people consider if a little weird ?

It's generally not considered weird if the man is older. If you were a 38 year old woman interested in a 26 year old man some people might consider it weird.

If you like the girl ask her out but why aren't you interested in women closer to your own age?

uck51js9zml2yt

14 years between my wife and I. She was 27 when we got married.
Its only a problem if you want it to be.
There was also 14 years between my parents. They were married 50 years. I hope we get 40 at least

New Home

As age gaps go, my own unwritten rule is not to consider anyone who, agewise, could be my child or my parent.

Queen-Mise

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Why do people actually give any credence to the above non logical, arbitrary thing? Why seven, why not eight or six?

Because I am really sad and I actually worked out the appropriate ages coming down 50, 40, 30, 20, 19, 18, 17, etc - and it is all spot on really.

It goes weird when you go down past 12 - but then they don't really date at that age.


OP - it is the bottom age of that very broad rule by thumb we are discussing. Go for it.

Mr. RED

You mad brah? It's not an duck billed platypus you want to date; you are both adult humans who have been on earth a LONG time, in human terms!!

Riskymove

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Why do people actually give any credence to the above non logical, arbitrary thing? Why seven, why not eight or six?

as I understand it it is so the "scale" starts at 16 for an 18 year old!!

Penny Tration

Emme wrote: »

It's generally not considered weird if the man is older. If you were a 38 year old woman interested in a 26 year old man some people might consider it weird.

If you like the girl ask her out but why aren't you interested in women closer to your own age?

The OP, in fairness to him, hasn't even implied that he's not interested in women of his own age. He just happens to like a 26 year old at the moment.

Op, it's not that much of an age gap. If you want to ask her out, go for it.

Tokyo

OP, the only people whose opinions matter in this case is yours, and the girl in question. If you want to ask you out, then go for it. Let her decide for herself as to whether it's a good idea or not.

Dutchess

My "little" 24 year old sister has a 36 going on 37 year old boyfriend. Thought it was a bit weird when my little sis went on a date with a man a good few year older than me but they are going strong for some time now. Go for it.

folamh

She's a woman, not a girl.

Carriexx

Emme wrote: »

It's generally not considered weird if the man is older. If you were a 38 year old woman interested in a 26 year old man some people might consider it weird.

If you like the girl ask her out but why aren't you interested in women closer to your own age?

My boyfriend is 28 and I'm 36 - so you feel thats a little weird??!!

Emme

Carriexx wrote: »

My boyfriend is 28 and I'm 36 - so you feel thats a little weird??!!

If that works for you it's great and more power to you.

My point is that age gaps are more accepted by society when the man is older than the woman. It doesn't matter what society thinks but the older men get the less likely they are to date women who are older than them. Once they reach a certain age many of them prefer to date women who are much younger as opposed to women their own age.

Hotman

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

There's a girl I like - shes 26 - I'm 38. Is that too big an age gap to merit asking her out in a date?

Would people consider if a little weird ?

If anything it's a good thing. She's into you because you're older, you're into her because she's younger.
I actually think it's more common in a primal sense. Only society has made us have to go for people our own age.
Not to be crude but back a few hundred years ago, you'd have 13 year old women with 40 year old men. By birthright and marriages that were set up etc (George R R Martin talks alot about it in hes interviews regarding game of thrones).

It's TOTALLY fine mate!

ted1

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Why do people actually give any credence to the above non logical, arbitrary thing? Why seven, why not eight or six?

Consenting adults, both like each other, sorted.

If the age gap causes an issue in terms of life stages, well cross that bridge when it's arrived at.

Because it works and keeps it legal.

Emme

Hotman wrote: »

Not to be crude but back a few hundred years ago, you'd have 13 year old women with 40 year old men

You still have that in places like the Yemen. Sometimes the "women" :rolleyes: are as young as 8 or 9 and they have been promised to a much older man from a very young age.The results are tragic. National Geographic did an article on these marriages a few years ago.

Primal patriarchal societies like the one above appeal to certain kinds of men. These are societies where women are of little value, mortality in childbirth is high and lost wives are not mourned but replaced. These societies consider it a waste of resources to educate girls whose functions are obeying their husbands, childbearing and raising the family if they live to do.

When these societies existed in Europe older women were burned at the stake on trumped up charges of witchcraft. The same mentality exists today where single women of a certain age are deemed unworthy of male companionship and told to buy some cats. Behind closed doors certain men get off on porn featuring underage girls.

I often wonder if it were legal for 12 and 13 year olds to marry how many older men would take wives of this age.

Thankfully there is a reasonable age gap between the OP and the girl in question so there is no reason why he shouldn't ask her out.

Aurum

Hotman wrote: »

I actually think it's more common in a primal sense. Only society has made us have to go for people our own age.
Not to be crude but back a few hundred years ago, you'd have 13 year old women with 40 year old men. By birthright and marriages that were set up etc (George R R Martin talks alot about it in hes interviews regarding game of thrones).

It's TOTALLY fine mate!

Evolutionarily speaking, a women in their twenties has a far greater chance of carrying a pregnancy to term than a 13 yr old, whose skeleton still hasn't finished forming and can suffer terrible complications when forced to carry a child at this age. Also, a 13/40 age gap wasn't all that common because human life expectancy tended to average around 35 (or less) until remarkably recently. Men didn't choose 13 year olds because they were preferable to older women, it was because most available women had already been married off by their mid teens. Also, the question of forty year olds being attracted to other forty year olds didn't really arise because, well, almost everyone was dead by then.

Anyway, OP, the age gap isn't that significant. The only way to know if it's a problem for her is by asking her.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

sparkle109

I'm 27 and my boyfriend is 40. I had reservations about the age difference to begin with, but after our first date I realised we were very similar in terms of outlooks, attitudes etc. now together two years! definitely go for it!!

Sheog

Carriexx wrote: »

My boyfriend is 28 and I'm 36 - so you feel thats a little weird??!!

I really like a guy who is five years younger than me..(I'm 31) think I might just go for it now

Pinkmoon19

It depends on the girl. I'm in my mid-20s and I don't think I would go out with someone 10+ years older than me. That's just a personal preference though, to each their own. You have nothing to lose by asking.

Ham Sambo

What's the worst that will happen if you ask her out?? all she is going to say is yes or no, go for it, and F**k the begrudgers and don't be worrying about the age thing!!