What can I expect consent wise in a relationship?

Crazy8qwerty

I really lament the fact that many couples seem to presume consent for sleep sex because of the relationship and intimacy they share. They understand that you need consent for when the partner is awake, no matter how many times they've had sex before, they don't always want sex when they are awake, maybe they don't always want sex when they are asleep. Seeing as they are in a state where they can neither say yes/no, why not ask them when they're awake. If you try something with them when they're awake, they can stop you, they aren't in a state to do that when they're asleep. One simple little question, doesn't take a long time to ask "Can I have sex with you while you're asleep?".

Let's say I were to give a future partner permission to have sex with me in my sleep. Would I have to specifically tell them not to do it if I were in a medicated sleep or passed out drunk? Or let's say if during sex I pass out drunk? Is it common to lump them all together if consent for sleep sex is given?

If so why? Being in a medicated sleep or passed out drunk is different from a natural sleep. It just is not the same thing. In a natural sleep, you can wake up and process the situation fairly quickly even if you're quite tired, and tell your partner to stop if you want. Not so with the other two examples, so why automatically lump them together?

If I am relaxed during sex and drift off to sleep, will my partner presume consent for having sex with me while I'm passed out drunk?

One guy I read certainly seemed to consider that consent, even as he impressed the importance of gaining consent from the person themselves.

I have seen a lot of comments regrading how couples regard rape or sex issues. They don't seem to know what consent is. There literally seems to be no line.

How is it even possible to be in a relationship without one partner raping the other? I'm sure it has to be possible, it's just that the sort of opinions I've read leave me wondering if it is.

Big Bag of Chips

Crazy8qwerty, welcome to Boards.ie and specifically to the Personal Issues Forum. Please take a few minutes to read The Forum Charter stickied at the top of the Forum and a few other threads to get an idea of what Personal Issues is about. Unlike many other areas of the site Personal Issues is an advice forum for people with specific personal or relationship issues.

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