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Really like widower in work

  • 05-09-2014 3:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been good friends with a co worker for about 2 years but recently have started developing feelings for him from nowhere. I've been quite taken aback by it & coincidently I'm pretty sure he also has feelings for me. We're both different towards each other now & there's a definite shift in how we are towards each other. His wife passed away in a terrible accident 4 yrs ago & obviously this affected him a lot but he has been a lot better in himself in the last 12 months.

    My problem is I'm not sure if he wants to pursue anything with me or if he's even ready to move on. I really think that if a guy is interested then he should ask the girl out & make the effort. When we talk to each other there is a definite spark there but I'm scared to push it.

    I just don't know what to do. Should he be doing most of the work or should I just ask him straight out "what's the story"? He's making the effort with me in work but not asking me to meet up outside of work.


Comments

  • #2
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    Goodmerrill wrote: »
    I really think that if a guy is interested then he should ask the girl out & make the effort
    ...
    I just don't know what to do. Should he be doing most of the work or should I just ask him straight out "what's the story"?

    This train of thought is the reason for so many frustrated relationships in the world!!
    He's making the effort with me in work but not asking me to meet up outside of work.

    He seems to be interested, so perhaps meet him half-way by suggesting a drink after work, or a coffee. Ask him to do something outside the workplace with you, but not something too romantic.

    Forte fortuna juvat - Fortune favours the brave


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Goodmerrill wrote: »
    . I really think that if a guy is interested then he should ask the girl out & make the effort.

    Ah jaysis, seriously? It's 2014. You could talk to him about it, or you could keep thinking like that and post a thread in a year from now telling us your regrets that you gave him no signals and it went nowhere.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    What age are you OP?


  • #5
    Mr. RED
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Mr. RED


    nurse123 wrote: »
    What age are you OP?

    What is the length of your forearm?

    Actually, the length of your forearm is none of my business.


  • #6
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    Maybe it's your work that is the issue here... Some people avoid relationships with coworkers.


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  • #7
    Tokyo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,656 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    Mr. RED - seeing as you are a new poster here I'd like you to take the opportunity to read the forum charter before posting in PI again. Calling out another poster's post in this fashion is not allowed here - if you have issue with a post, report it using the 'report post' function and a moderator will check it out.

    Regards,
    Mike


  • #8
    Mr. RED
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Mr. RED


    mike_ie wrote: »
    Mike

    Humbly noted Mike. I can see I probably broke a number of the charters rules to be fair. My reason; though irrelevant: I just thought the question was particularly loaded/nasty/somethingelse in nature. Not my place I understand though. I'm gone.


  • #9
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    What exactly us he going to make an effort in work? Are you sure it isn't just because he is relaxed with you?


  • #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I totally get what you guys are saying about equality but i do think that when a guy likes a woman he goes out of his way to show that and he would initiate a lot of the contact between them. Or if hes shy maybe not??

    I'm 33 and I'm scared of losing the friendship and scared of telling him i like him and he'll just look at me like I'm nuts and it'll be painfully akward.

    I'm not sure what you mean about being relaxed CaraMay?
    by making the effort in work I mean he has helped me out with different things that i know he wouldn't normally do for other people.


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