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Eating distress

  • 04-09-2014 7:45pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    I dunno if anyone can help me but any advice would be most welcome.

    I'm a mess at the moment and I feel so stupid saying why...I literally can't stop eating! I have had what I consider to be bulimia on and off for the past 13 years. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy....it is completely eroding away my life.

    Funny thing is I was referred to St Pats in Dublin through my GP and the psychiatrist there told me I wasn't bulimic at all because I was only purging 1-2 times a week at the time. Fast forward 7 years and that's 2-3 times a day.

    I'm not looking for medical advice here, my gp prescribed prozac.... I haven't taken them though... I actually can't tell you why but my husband who is unaware of my problem asked me why I had the antidepressants. I told him it was because I was feeling down which was true and he hit the roof, saying he'd hate to see me if I had real problems, I'll never tell him what's really going on as he doesn't understand such issues. So since then I just left the prozac.

    Anyway sorry if I'm rambling but this horrible mental anguish is killing me. I work and I'm ok during the day. It's the minute I come through the door I grab and eat anything I can. Before anyone tells me not to have the food in the house I have to because I am married with children. I used to binge on sweet things, I rarely have them in the house so now I'll even binge on fish fingers, cereal, pasta and peanut butter..... Believe it or not I actually don't even like these foods. Then I purge.

    I feel rotten, I feel fat, I feel like a mess. I feel my kids are losing out cos mommy spends half her time either stuffing her face or with her head down the toilet( they don't witness this). I feel like the crappiest mother ever, I am ashamed of myself but I can't stop. It's like a relief when I'm stuffing my face.

    Any any any advice at all??? I'm at the worst place I've ever been, I'm losing interest in everything and even hate leaving the house now. I'm luckily still at a normal weight but I can't see that lasting much more, weight is a thing I'm obsessed with, I weigh myself at least once a day and I'm ruined for the day if I'm up at all in the morning.... I think sure I'm up now I might as well binge!

    Counselling isn't really an option, money wise and also my hubby would not agree/understand. I don't want to make this about him, that's just the way it is!


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Hi OP

    as you know we cannot offer medical advice here and really that is what you need here. You need professional help from someone who specialises in this disease.
    Please go back to your GP or another asap and demand the proper care. Also ask for advice on if / how to share with your family.

    In the meantime from our charter please have a look here.
    Bodywhys - (1890 200 444) - national voluntary organisation supporting people affected by eating disorders.

    Sorry we have to close this thread.


This discussion has been closed.
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