Parents seperating, confused

LegacyUser

Basically I'm 28, and just found out my parents will be separating, having just celebrated their 26th weddin anniversary. They had their problems when I was growing up but seemed to be happy the last few years and I thought it was behind them. Seems I was wrong. My father has reacted by going into a deep depression, despite the break being his decision, has spent every day drinking since, and has decided hes going to sell up and move away. Basically hasn't spoken or shown any care or interest in anyone since it happened.

I have been struggling myself, being unemployed for 6 months, numerous interviews and good feedback from them but I just don't have the experience to get a position (or even a jobbridge position). the competition is that tough in my field. I already felt like my life was going nowhere, and with this added situation on top I'm struggling to see any positive. I'm too broke and embarassed to socialise because I'm tired of telling people I'm still unemployed. It feels like my life is slowly circling the drain.

Rubberchikken

it's tough for kids to hadle parents separating no matter the age, so i'm sorry you're going through this.

at 28, though, you're old enough to realise that they didn't make the decision lightly and are hurting too.
can you speak to your parents. explain what you're feeling and see how they're doing?

take care

Gatling

I understand exactly how you feel op ,
I'm in my mid 30 's and my parent's recently spilt and are now going through a messy separation .
It's completely split my family it's never easy on anyone especially if you have mostly good memories till you hear everything you apparently missed when you were younger ,

it sounds like your dad's taken it very bad ,to him he's probably lost his wife , his home and his home which is really hard for a lot of men to take ,
Can I suggest your get him to speak to his gp or a councillor and go with him for moral support ,

Now for yourself get uo and and do something socially first and don't worry about your employment status 400+000 unemployed here so it's pretty common to have friends and families who are the same position .
Friends can also see if they can find work in there companies and so on its networking at its easiest.
But don't give up if you can't find work in your chosen field then cast you net further a field and even part time .
knock on enough doors , one will eventually open .
It's easier to find a job when your already in full employment .
try volunteering even to get you out of the house .

But good luck and I hope something comes along soon

blacklilly

Hi op,

I'm 28 also and my parents separated this time last year.

It came as a big shock to me and hit me very hard. It can be difficult when you're older as your parents are less likely to protect you from their emotions, issues etc but on the other hand you're old enough to understand the bigger picture and have perspective on things.

If you are worried about your dad you need to talk to him, tell him your concerns, show him that you are there and you care etc, however ultimately his happiness is dependent upon him. It can take a lot of adjustment for someone who's married that length of time, everything they knew, were comfortable with etc has changed and it's a confusing time for everyone involved.

I'm not sure from your post as to whether you have any siblings, if you have, you need to talk to them and support each other though this. Also talk to your friends, make sure you don't keep your feelings locked up inside, this was my biggest mistake.

A year on since my parents separated, things have settled down, I'm lucky in that they remain on civil terms with each other. I was very worried about my dad at the time, a year on and he's doing things he never did before, he's involved in various groups and is doing really well. You've a time of adjustment infront of you, I know it's very tough now but things inevitability do settle.

I wish you all the best.