Dealing with depression

LegacyUser

I was recently diagnosed with depression. I have been suffering with it for years, didn't realise I was until recently. I am receiving help from a wonderful doctor and have been signed off work for the foreseeable future. I am not seeking advice on my condition.

The issue I now have is how other people are treating me. I am married to the most wonderful man, he is my rock and I don't know where I would be without him. We do not have any children. My own family know about my condition as my husband works full time and I sometimes go home during the week for a night or two as he hates me being home alone everyday. I used to go for a week or more without leaving the house. My family and friends live about 90 minutes away from us. I don't have many friends where we live, only colleagues, one or two of them I see outside work. My managers know about my diagnosis and have been fantastic but nobody else at works knows. I am afraid to leave the house during the day in case I run into anybody from work, they would all ask me how I am, what's wrong with me etc. Their motivation would be concern, the are a great bunch of people but I don't wanna lie to them. I can't lie, I am terrified if one of them asked me how I was then I would start crying or something stupid like that.

Secondly, my family are driving me mad. My mam is so overbearing, asking me terribly personal question that I just don't want to answer. It's none of her business and she thinks I should be talking to someone about it, well my husband is no. 1, he looks after me, I talk to him about everything. I don't want to talk to her or anyone else and when I tell her that she goes mad at me, make it all about her that she is only trying to help. Sometimes I think that to her it's more important how my depression affects her than how it actually affects me, like it should consult her on everything related to it and I couldn't possibly make a decision with her input, she always tries to "fix" everything, like she constantly know what's best for me. My siblings, who all live at home are worse. They are treating me like I am a drama queen! They are all incredibly harsh people, don't care what they say to me. My birthday is in a few weeks time and I asked them would they come to my house for food and few drinks, we'll suddenly this is a massive inconvience, despite the fact I am there for all my families birthdays. They want me to have it at home in my parents house, so that would mean me travelling for 3 hours and I couldn't even have a drink (I'm not a big drinker anyway, havent had a drink in months, but would like to have one for my birthday all the same). I got very angry over this so they are all coming now but I shouldn't have to get angry before they make an effort for me. But they have said that I am only angry over something so trivial because of my "problems". I should mention this is actually a milestone birthday.

Another issue I have at the moment is my friends. They are great but I am unsure if I should tell them or not. I don't want my business talked about, yet I think some of them are a bit mad about me missing things and I know they would understand if they knew the truth. But my mam mentioned a few weeks ago that she doesn't want the whole parish to know about my depression so I better not tell my mates. Sweet lord I can't deal with her at all!

Also worth mentioning that my dad is the best in the world.. He doesn't talk about it unless I bring it up, and then listens and only offers advise if I ask for his opinion.

Sorry my post is all over the place, writing reflects the headspace right now. Really I am caught between a rock and a hard place. Can't stay on my own in my home all day every day, can't go to parents house because the family are driving me mad, can't go around the town where I live in case i meet my colleagues.

If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it. Or any first hand experience on who they told about their depression. Thanks

science101

Hi OP, thats a tough situation you have there and my heart really goes out to you, i guess all people deal with depression in different ways and we all have to find some sort of coping mechanism, if i spend weeks doing nothing but sitting around the house everyday, i will go nuts. I have seen therapist, psyschiatrist, done CBT.

I am back working again, living in the city center in Dublin, i go out a lot with my friends, i like my time to be occupied, i fill life up so i dont have time to be worrying about the problems in my head. i was always afraid to tell my friends but when i did i realised they are my friends and support me, i have 7 other people in my family, they all know i have "issues" but one of my sisters has understood me since i was a teenager and is like a rock to me. I suffered from a lot of anxiety, yoga and meditation really helped me also.

you wont know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice, the bad times are never last forever and you will be happy again.