Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Thinking about a breakup.

  • 02-09-2014 6:52pm
    #1
    sibby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 230 ✭✭


    I'm 22 and I've been with my boyfriend for four years. Recently I've been starting to feel different about the relationship, I think I have fallen out of love! He is a brilliant boyfriend, always there for me when I need him and always helpful. I feel like I've moved on and see him as more of a friend than a boyfriend. It's breaking my heart because he is my best friend and i don't want to lose him but I'm tired of feeling bad for not still having the same feelings as before.

    I don't know how to go about telling him about this though. Should I wait longer and hope for the feelings to return? Do I break up with him? I don't even know how to go about telling him, he thinks everything is fine. He is currently sitting repeats and I don't think he will pass them which means that he will be kicked out of college in the next few weeks because he is repeating the year. I don't know whether to tell him before he gets the results or after! I'm just so confused.

    Sorry for ranting.....I never thought I would be in this place.


Comments

  • #2
    Buona Fortuna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭Buona Fortuna


    Hummmm Sibby. Well there's no easy way to tell him and no right time. Whichever time you pick there will be another minor life crisis looming. So if you are going to do it, I'd say get on and do it.

    That said just clarify for me what you mean by feelings:
    I'm tired of feeling bad for not still having the same feelings as before
    Are we talking the giddy butterflies feeling when you first meet? You probably won't get that back. That's a falling in love first date sort of feeling. Or have I misunderstood?

    Are you saying though that you don't want this man putting up your shelves (cliche I know), having children with, being your rock through all of lifes turmoils.


  • #3
    Tokyo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,656 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    sibby wrote: »
    Recently I've been starting to feel different about the relationship....I feel like I've moved on and see him as more of a friend than a boyfriend.

    Hi sibby,

    you've pretty much summed up the situation in your opening post, and it's just a fact of life that while some relationships last, others we outgrow and realise that we no longer feel the same way, and this seems to be your situation right now. I understand that you still care about this guy (as a friend) and don't want to hurt him, but realistically the best thing you can do for him right now is be honest about your feelings, and not let him continue to believe that something is there when it's not.

    As for when to tell him, well there is never really a good time, and it's all too easy to keep putting it off - first you'll want to wait until after the results of the repeats, then it will be a birthday or similar, then it will be christmas and you'll want to wait until after that, etc. The best advice I can give you is to tell him how you feel, right now, and decide together how you both want to move forward in this.


Advertisement