Introvert and lonely

Saralee4

....

ahmdoda

I suggest taking Yoga classes where not only you could be improving your health & mental state but the classes have a clam atmosphere and usually attended by decent people that are "mature",you might find them easy to connect to as from what I think your problem is more with connecting with the right type of people rather then being introvert since you stated that you liked deep conversations however find that you cant relate to many women superficial interests, have you though of connecting to religion? i don't mean to preach & if your an atheist it may not harm to use some of your "alone time" to research some of the world major religions reading there scriptures as many people around the world draw comfort from religion. ~ hope that was helpful.

ivytwine

Hi Saralee, have you ever considered going to counselling over what happened to you when you were a kid? Don't underestimate the damage that this would have done to your sense of trust in people. I think there are issues you are hanging onto and maybe some counselling would help you move on past that. for example the man who was 6 years older when you were a teen, now you don't mention what age you were but even if you were 17/18, it's a bit icky in my opinion. Even leaving out the sexual side of it there's something a bit odd about a man or woman who in their mid-twenties would be interested in a teenager. Teenagers are kids basically and they act like it too!

And if you were 13 and he was 19 well then you had a lucky escape!

Anyway, not to belabour that point but this was presumably years ago, and you are married now, so reminiscing about him is a sign that something is drawing you back to the past.

The thing is being an introvert is not necessarily a bad thing, and it shouldn't be making you unhappy. I get on well with people but I do like my space, and I am happy with that state of affairs. You don't seem at all happy at the moment and you don't have to be unhappy.

Finally I think you should go a bit easy on your fellow women. When it comes to the workplace people aren't going to discuss the 8th Amendment or Gaza, you stick to safer topics, lighter things, but that doesn't make you shallow, it makes you sensible. In my old workplace abortion was brought up after the Savita case, and that was a bad move, people have very strong opinions on deeper subjects and it's not workplace appropriate.

Discussing X Factor (much as I loathe it) does not mean these people don't have anything in common with you, it's just a lighter level of conversation.

Meetup is a good place to find likeminded people, especially music-wise.

LegacyUser

Hey ur lucky I'm an introverted man since I was abandoned by my female friends from the age of 8 cos I was different and the chance of me having a wife or even drinking buddies is zilch. I suppose only a man wud be a true loner

Saralee4

yes I am very lucky. But I think as Ivytwine pointed out, the reason Im feeling like this is probably not because of the fact that I am introvert and I was mistaking that as the problem. It is probably because I have got myself into a bit of a rut lately by dwelling and blaming myself on past issues that I realise now were not really my fault. I was probably just feeling sorry for myself and hard done by when I just have to learn from those things, talk about them, deal with them and move on.

I think I just need to make more of an effort with people and trust that there are a lot of good people who genuinely want to get to know me and me them.

I hope that you do meet someone someday and make some friends and maybe you should also look into joining Meetup.

science101

the only person who can take you out of a rut is yourself, I was in one for a very long time, started jogging each day in the morning before work, joined a gym / yoga, done some counselling. went to some meetup meetings (even something called couchsurfing - that community has a weekly meet on a friday and always meeting new people coming to the city continously and travelers) i was introverted a lot (especially as a kid / teenager) im 27 now and im more extraverted that I thought Id ever be and confident and sure of myself.

taking some action was half the battle, forcing yourself out of your comfort zone to expand ur own horizons.

you'll definitely get there with a pro active approach.