Problematic Housemate

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,
I've been living in what started out as a very nice house with three other strangers. I got on well with all of them all but I was a bit uneasy with one of them, lets call her Kate, as I read her as being a bit confrontational and thought she might be a problem in the future. Well that day has come as Kate and one other female housemate are no longer speaking.

Basicly it all started over a minor cleaning issue and spiralled into a very big argument in which Kate verbally attacked another girl. I won't go into the details but it was very inappropriate and aggressive behaviour. The other girl was terrified and hid in her room for two hours until Kate went out.

The rest of us get on great but the atmosphere in the house has been awful and now everyone apart from Kate wants to leave. This is not the first time this has happened either. Apparently several housemates have left because of her, though the landlord has only recently become aware of this. We informed the landlord and they suggested meeting up about it but now they say it's not their problem. In a way this is fair enough, we're all adults who should be able to sort this out, but given how immature and volatile Kate is I think it's time that the landlord stepped in. Sitting her down and chatting about it rationally doesn't work and she can get quite defensive it that situation.

I should mention that Kate is a very aggressive and argumentative person in general, even without these recent issues. She also thinks she runs the house as she has been there a number of years. Unfortunately it's not all black and white as she has some mental health issues and so I try to be nice to her. Actually in her eyes we get along great AFAIK but I'm really tired of the problems that she is causing in the house.

I'd actually like to move out over this as I'm really not enjoying it. Unfortunately I can't as I'm going travelling next year and I need to save (rent is way up and I'm still on my first lease so the rent is still reasonable, if I move I 'll pay more). I also only have about 5 months left until I leave and a 5 month lease is harder to come by.

Any suggestions are appreciated though I think that moving out is the only realistic option.

Neyite

You are probably correct in that the easiest solution is to leave. However that may leave you out of pocket and that is not fair either.

I'd suggest that you all meet with her together. She was able to bully because she thought it was one weaker person, but if she realises that all of you are on the same page, she might cop on. Maybe meet with the other housemates, agree a time for you all to confront Kate, agree on what needs to be said, and each of you choose a point to make to Kate so that it isnt one single person talking that she can attempt to bully.

Remain calm but firm and dont let her goad any of you into being aggressive or shouting back. If she tries to single one of you out, its "Kate, we ALL feel the same way on this issue" With luck, she will be the one to strop off and hand in her notice.

While mental health issues are tough, it is not a licence to make other peoples lives a misery or to have them live in fear of you - no matter how severe that illness is, its not an excuse.

zoobizoo

Kate's not a bit older with a shaved head is she?

I lived with someone like that. It ended up that the other three people in the house stopped talking to her and eventually she left.

She was a nightmare from day one... she just shouldn't have been living with other people.

LegacyUser

Are you all renting the house on a single lease ie you all signed one lease with the landlord and if someone moves out their name is replaced on the lease or is the house rented out by room and have you all signed individual leases with the landlord? The type of lease you have effects the action you can take.

If you have individual leases then the landlord can step in and deal with Kate and terminate her lease on the grounds of disturbing others and anti-social behavior. They need to follow the correct eviction procedure other wise they might be libel for an illegal eviction. Get them to speak with Threashold or the PRTB before taking an action to make sure everything is above bored.

If your all on the one lease then it's nothing to do with the landlord and it's not their job to mediate between you all and they cannot legally remove one person from the lease while leaving the rest of you. You need to have a house meeting with everyone and lay everything out on the table.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys!
I'll arrange a meeting with eveyone in the house. This has been done before but I wasn't present as I was on holidays at the time. It didn't go well last time but I think people may have gotten a bit angry due to her defensive reaction.

We're each renting a room directly from the landlord, so there are 4 separate leases.

LegacyUser

unhappy tenant wrote: »

We're each renting a room directly from the landlord, so there are 4 separate leases.

If your on separate leases then it's fair easier to deal with then one lease. If you can't come to an understanding amongst yourselves you can get the Landlord involved. It's not the Landlords job to mediate between you but he can terminate her leases if she is causing anti social behavior as you are entitled to peaceful enjoyment of your home under the terms of your lease.