Was I right ?

hagoonabear

I had a friend of over 7 years , I say had as I have stopped all contact with her the last 3 weeks. I can explain why lets call her friend A , it all started when 3 weeks ago 4 of my friends went out on for a few drinks together and two of my friends Friend A and friend B went back to friend A's house .

They started chatting and friends A boyfriend new boyfriend was there with them, Friend A started talking about my partner (bit of a back story friend A and my partners parents were best friends until a few years ago) , she started telling deep secrets about my partner to her boyfriend and friend B and calling him names and completely slagging him off about serious issues (eating disorders from when he was younger, anxiety and mental health issues). Friend B was outraged not by my partners past but by Friend A slagging him off and telling his secrets infront of her and friend A boyfriend.

I was told by Friend B and I believe her as Friend B could never know about his past without friend A telling this.

I have stopped talking to her , and just I have realized over the last few years how much she has let me down , from never answering my calls if something was wrong even though I always answered hers no matter how late or long and she always talked about herself , from bad moments in my life cutting off contact with me after a serious suicidal issue,(ashamed of that btw) her excuse was " she didn't want to contact me as she didn't want to get hurt" and to last month at my sons funeral she got up and walked out causing a complete show as someone said something that didn't agree with her .

I have always got her presents every year for xmas birthdays etc and she has barely acknowledges mine , she also never made the effort to see me I would always have to visit her .

I feel bad for not talking to her and cutting off contact as she barely has any friends I got my friends to invite her out to nights out etc .. she has had friends but all have stopped talking to her and I realize why now .

I just feel bad for stopping contact

bee06

Based on what you've said she sounds like a terrible friend and you are better off without her. There is a reason she doesn't have many friends if that is how she treats them.

Look after yourself and let her do the same.

The Friendly Newcomer

It sounds like she has a lot of making up to you to do if she seriously wants to be your friend. Also my condolences to you about your son.

amdublin

I don't think you should punish yourself over taking a decision that was due to her actions.

What she did was very bad. And the result of that now is that you no longer wish to be her friend. And that's okay.

YOU should not be feeling bad. It is HER that did the bad thing.

Easier said than done, but make peace with yourself about your decision and move on.

Rubberchikken

you have to be in a tough place at the moment.
i'm sorry about your son, that's so sad.

your friend sounds like things may not be going well for her, and people sometimes take it out on those that are kindest to them.not fair, i know.

you need to look after yourself at the moment and let your friend's actions go. they're not worth bothering about.

in time, maybe you'll have an opportunity to talk to her and see what's going on.
take care

LegacyUser

My situation was similar.

They didn't acknowledge events that were important to me, they wouldn't answer texts (which I think looking back was so that they felt like they were needed or had some power), I included them in my other social circles because they had no friends and spent all their time alone at the weekend. Nothing was ever appreciated and I just got sick of the effort. I also noticed how they treated other people and I thought do I really want a friend who is like that. No was the answer. I cut contact and true to form they didn't try to find out why or mend the relationship.

It felt good not to be made feel bad about myself by this person anymore and I felt lighter. My only regret is that I let the friendship continue for so long.

Bummer1234

To answer your thread title question, Yes, You are completely right.

The way your friend has acted is disgraceful and i'm sure your not the only person to think about "I wonder what friend A is doing"...But let her get in contact with you.

Sorry to hear you have had a hard time of late.

You should stand strong and do what bee06 said above..."she sounds like a terrible friend and you are better off without her"...

LynnGrace

My condolences on the loss of your son.
In answer to your question, yes, let this person go, and take care of yourself.