If you were a murderer

FullblownRose

Where would you hide? For whatever reason, you want to lay in wait for your victim. There's a popular misconception that murderers hide behind shower curtains.

I feel that this is highly unrealistic. It would be cold and boring there.

Kermit.de.frog

I wouldn't be hiding on boards if you are looking for suggestions.

kneemos

Uh huh.

GerB40

I'm not falling for that one again...

Fresh Pots

Don't ask siri either, she'll rat you out!

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/florida-man-accused-of-killing-his-roommate-asked-siri-where-to-hide-the-body-9665437.html

Under the bed, like all bogeymen.

Schwiiing

FullblownRose wrote: »

Where would you hide? For whatever reason, you want to lay in wait for your victim. There's a popular misconception that murderers hide behind shower curtains.

I feel that this is highly unrealistic. It would be cold and boring there.

I know AGS have suffered budget cuts but they should be able to afford better detectives than you ffs.

FullblownRose

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

I wouldn't be hiding on boards if you are looking for suggestions.

How do you know they don't pluck their victims from Boards?

hullaballoo

Why do you need to hide? It's not like they'll be giving evidence against you.

Mr. Incognito

Where would I hide?

From what?

The other murderers?

I killed them.

Great username by the way. I knew a tranny once called Rose. Your username brings back memories.

She was full blown aids though.

Santa Cruz

Check out the man walking his dog.


The amount of dead bodies found by people out early walking their dogs is unbelievable

whirlpool

There's never any murderers behind my shower curtains!

FullblownRose

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Where would I hide?

From what?

The other murderers?

I killed them.

Great username by the way. I knew a tranny once called Rose. Your username brings back memories.

She was full blown aids though.

God, you're flipping charming altogether, aren't you? I'm amazed the trannies had anything to do with you.

FullblownRose

Santa Cruz wrote: »

Check out the man walking his dog.


The amount of dead bodies found by people out early walking their dogs is unbelievable

Yes, sadly that is true

Holsten

Behind you.

Hitchens

do some people still use shower curtains? :eek:

FullblownRose

whirlpool wrote: »

There's never any murderers behind my shower curtains!

Well, the next uestion was going to be: What wuld you do if you were confronted with a murderer waiting behind the shower curtain. I don't have a shower curtain so I've no idea where they'd hide

FullblownRose

Hitchens wrote: »

do some people still use shower curtains? :eek:

horrible things.

endacl

What exactly do you mean by 'if' in this context, OP?

:cool:

Deranged96

Out of view at the top of the stairs, just push him when he reaches the top

Then stabby stabby

Then I run

dar100

I wouldn't hide...

I do my hits in broad daylight

The Backwards Man

I'd get suckers on my hands and feet and hide on the ceiling.

Judging by the amount of cobwebs I see on lightbulbs, no one ever looks up.


*I might be above you right now*

Have a look, if you dare.

Tail Docker

Wait til they're collecting their dole/at an ATM - just as they get the money in their hand, toddle up and pop one behind their ear. No-one see/hears anything for the few seconds when they are getting money.

wiseoldelf34

Santa Cruz wrote: »

Check out the man walking his dog.


The amount of dead bodies found by people out early walking their dogs is unbelievable

I spent some time inside with one of them

akura

Zihuatanejo

The Diabolical Monocle

Roll up on a motorbike just as they're coming home.


Cock the glock.

bang bang skeet skeet !! crossroads ngga !! hammertime ngga !!

drop the glock.



then go get my drank on.

who the fug

Nine year old girls with Uzis are working fine, big improvement from my mark 1 the nine year old with a magnum

FloatingVoter

I'm hiding under your bed. There's a smelly sock and a very old slice of pizza here with me. You know who you are.

Sky King

I would sing the song from 'fiddler on the roof' - but obviously replacing 'rich man' with 'murderer'.

MistyCheese

IF I were to sneak into your mid terrace 3 bedroom house and IF I were planning to murder you in the upstairs bathroom I would simply hide in the same place as I did the last time, the time you came home early because you forgot your headphones for the gym.

That was a really good spot.

On a completely unrelated note while I'm here, you could really do with changing those bedsheets.

FloatingVoter

MistyCheese wrote: »

IF I were to sneak into your mid terrace 3 bedroom house and IF I were planning to murder you in the upstairs bathroom I would simply hide in the same place as I did the last time, the time you came home early because you forgot your headphones for the gym.

That was a really good spot.

On a completely unrelated note while I'm here, you could really do with changing those bedsheets.

Two bed, not three. The World Wildlife Foundation have put a protection order on the bedsheets, so no can do.

LETHAL LADY

Firstly, I like to stalk my victims. I then look for ways to acquaint myself to them. Once a rapport has been established and they feel at ease in my presence I like to smash the back of their skull in with my lady hammer.

sheesh

I would take him for a drive out in the country and have an associate kill him from behind while I pretended to take a wiz.

I would then leave the gun and take the cannoli.

whirlpool

Every time I see this thread title it puts this song back in my head!

corner of hells

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Firstly, I like to stalk my victims. I then look for ways to acquaint myself to them. Once a rapport has been established and they feel at ease in my presence I like to smash the back of their skull in with my lady hammer.

I just monocled my drop , a lady hammer ?
Would you be sent to do your time in the Ladyjoy then ?

RobbingBandit

In plain sight like all good homicidal maniacs.

LETHAL LADY

corner of hells wrote: »

I just monocled my drop , a lady hammer ?
Would you be sent to do your time in the Ladyjoy then ?

Why of course!... for I am a lady you see.

Manach

Hide?
To paraphrase Stalin, one life lost is a tragedy, a million is a statistic.

RobbingBandit

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Why of course!... for I am a lady you see.

Dibs on the first conjugal visit.

tomwaterford

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Firstly, I like to stalk my victims. I then look for ways to acquaint myself to them. Once a rapport has been established and they feel at ease in my presence I like to smash the back of their skull in with my lady hammer.

:eek::eek::eek:


lord im never making new friends:p




emm....I dunno....if was to murder...it would be no use hiding...as I would just possibly get a fit of nervous giggles and give away my hiding spot!!!

catallus

On a completely unrelated note: Does anyone know how to get blood out of a mattress?

RobbingBandit

Vanish, and a bucket load of fabreze.

Spring Onion

I hide in the old sycamore tree in the back and tap the bedroom window with one of the branches until the victim comes to close the curtains...then I enter the house.

FloatingVoter

Spring Onion wrote: »

I hide in the old sycamore tree in the back and tap the bedroom window with one of the branches until the victim comes to close the curtains...then I enter the house.

Spring Onion - The Serial Killer From Hell. No, its not working. We need to work on the name. Midnight Strangler, Jack the Ripper, Spring Onion......it just doesn't fit.

FullblownRose

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Spring Onion - The Serial Killer From Hell. No, its not working. We need to work on the name. Midnight Strangler, Jack the Ripper, Spring Onion......it just doesn't fit.

I participated in a game on Facebook, to find out my ''serial killer name''. I got The Black Mouse. I tinkk that's an o.k name. I could squeeze through tiny gaps into your house. Gnaw you to death while you slept.Squidge back out again and scuttle off! Leaving only some droppings as a calling card!

FloatingVoter

FullblownRose wrote: »

I participated in a game on Facebook, to find out my ''serial killer name''. I got The Black Mouse. I tinkk that's an o.k name. I could squeeze through tiny gaps into your house. Gnaw you to death while you slept.Squidge back out again and scuttle off! Leaving only some droppings as a calling card!

The Black Mouse. Well its better than a garden vegetable. Just go full throttle and promote yourself to The Black Death. That did more people in then Stalin.

Or actually - Black Rose sounds sinister enough in itself.

FullblownRose

FloatingVoter wrote: »

The Black Mouse. Well its better than a garden vegetable. Just go full throttle and promote yourself to The Black Death. That did more people in then Stalin.

Or actually - Black Rose sounds sinister enough in itself.[/QUOTE

I was talking to a chap once and he was on about flowers, he said if he was to give me flowers they'd be Rosa Tortuosa. Or something like that. Can't remember but I thought it was a fair effort

NightOfTheHunt

Probably down by that lake where those teenagers were murdered 100 years ago to the day. Or else the spooky abandoned roller disco.

FullblownRose

NightOfTheHunt wrote: »

Probably down by that lake where those teenagers were murdered 100 years ago to the day. Or else the spooky abandoned roller disco.

Inventive! I like it! Would you be waiting ages, though..if it's abandoned?