Family member Suicidal

LegacyUser

I`m nearly certain my mother is having thoughts of suicide at the moment. She has suffered poor mental health all her life and has had many traumatic life experiences throughout the years but I have never seen her mood as low as it is at the moment. She is not always down and has good patches as well but she experiences low mood more than good. She is in a particularly bad place at the moment after my sister having immigrated a few weeks ago, me being gone most of the time with work and other complications such as family politics with her own immediate family going on. I have to drag talk out of her the last few weeks which is not like her personality and she has recently been coming out with comment such as "what is the point in me being around any more".. "i`m so screwed up in the head, what`s the point any more". This is new.. As low as I have ever seen her in the past, she has never come out with comments such as this.

I have done a suicide prevention course in the past myself through my work and have the theory behind the suggested approach to situations like this, .... but it is a hole other ballgame when it is a realistic situation so close to home with an immediate family member. Its tough.

I have been thinking today of contacting Pieta House for some advice but as far as i am aware they are only a counselling service. She has had many psychiatric counselling sessions before but is not currently in treatment. I`m doubtful they've ever made any difference as she is clinically depressed in a big way and this will be a lifelong problem for her.

I haven`t seen her in a week but will see her tomorrow when I go home for the weekend.. I am wondering if I should just judge her current mood tomorrow and if it seems good, leave things B.. or if I should go ahead and have a sit down with her regardless of her current mood and see if I can make sense of where she is mentally at the moment. The suicide prevention course I took before suggests to ask your loved ones straight out if they are thinking of suicide. I don`t if I am brave enough to do this....

Finding this whole situation quiet stressful...

Tokyo

Hi OP,

first let me say that I'm sorry for the situation you find yourself in - it's never easy to see a family member in difficulty like that and it can be an extremely trying time for all involved, and all of the courses in the world can't really prepare you for a family member who is in suicidal distress. You are certainly not alone in this, so rather than depending on the course to get you through this, it's good that you are considering seeking professional help as soon as possible.

Our forum charter contains some useful links to organisations and support groups that may very well interest you - in particular the following:

1Life Suicide Prevention Helpline - (1800 247 100) - their services cater to not only those in suicidal distress, but also to friend and family (like yourself) of those in suicidal distress.

• Freephone Helpline, available 24 hours every day - 1800 247 100
• By text message - Text the word HELP to 51444

turn2me.org - an online mental health community providing peer and professional support to people in distress who we have an excellent relationship with in PI, and who help us with any poster in suicidal distress. Boards.ie also has a registered representative (username is turn2me.org) who I will be informing of your thread - you can also contact them directly if you wish, under your registered username. It may also be worth your while browsing their forum - in particular the section titled Get support for someone else as there seems to be a lot of information there relevant to your situation.

As per our usual rules regarding threads such as this, I'm going to close it. However I wish you luck with your situation OP.

turn2me.org

Hello,

This is Eoin from Turn2me, an online mental health organisation which provides support from time to time in relation to matters such as this.

I am very sorry to hear of the struggles which both you and your mother are facing at the moment - your mother in terms of her low mood and you in terms of the concern and worry this must confront you with.

May I suggest that, if you have concerns for your mother's immediate safety, it may be a good idea to let her GP know about those same concerns. He/she may be able to contact your mother and assess her well-being based on what you have observed.

If, at any point, you have worries about her immediate safety, i.e. if anything happened or was said which suggested that she might actually harm herself in any way, it would be very important to contact emergency services in your area and share your concerns with them.

If your mother would like to seek support online - whether provided by a professional or simply writing online posts to other people experiencing difficulties with their mental health, she is welcome to use any of our services - we even provided free counselling sessions to those based in Ireland. Visit www.turn2me.org for more information today. These services are free of charge and we are funded by the HSE through the National Office of Suicide prevention to provide these.

Finally, it may indeed be a good idea, as you've mentioned, to discuss your concerns directly with your mother also. The common consensus these days (among those who work in the area of suicide prevention) is that asking someone this question in a sensitive but direct way will NOT make them any more likely to take their own life. So if you feel that you can broach this with your mother - perhaps with a view to suggesting that she discuss it further with her GP or a properly trained mental health professional - then I would advise this.

Given all the stress you yourself are experiencing at the moment, [please know that our services are also available for you in terms of support. I'm sorry that you're seeing your mother this low and upset and I wish you the very best in proceeding with this. She's lucky to have someone who cares for her in this way.

The very best,

Eoin (Turn2me)

Suicidal Family Member wrote: »

I`m nearly certain my mother is having thoughts of suicide at the moment. She has suffered poor mental health all her life and has had many traumatic life experiences throughout the years but I have never seen her mood as low as it is at the moment. She is not always down and has good patches as well but she experiences low mood more than good. She is in a particularly bad place at the moment after my sister having immigrated a few weeks ago, me being gone most of the time with work and other complications such as family politics with her own immediate family going on. I have to drag talk out of her the last few weeks which is not like her personality and she has recently been coming out with comment such as "what is the point in me being around any more".. "i`m so screwed up in the head, what`s the point any more". This is new.. As low as I have ever seen her in the past, she has never come out with comments such as this.

I have done a suicide prevention course in the past myself through my work and have the theory behind the suggested approach to situations like this, .... but it is a hole other ballgame when it is a realistic situation so close to home with an immediate family member. Its tough.

I have been thinking today of contacting Pieta House for some advice but as far as i am aware they are only a counselling service. She has had many psychiatric counselling sessions before but is not currently in treatment. I`m doubtful they've ever made any difference as she is clinically depressed in a big way and this will be a lifelong problem for her.

I haven`t seen her in a week but will see her tomorrow when I go home for the weekend.. I am wondering if I should just judge her current mood tomorrow and if it seems good, leave things B.. or if I should go ahead and have a sit down with her regardless of her current mood and see if I can make sense of where she is mentally at the moment. The suicide prevention course I took before suggests to ask your loved ones straight out if they are thinking of suicide. I don`t if I am brave enough to do this....

Finding this whole situation quiet stressful...