How to keep the men of The Gentlemen's club interested

kneesocks11

Going to go right out and pop the question!

What keeps you fine Gentlemen interested in a woman?

Barely There

Despite it being clichéd, intelligence and personality are the main factors.
It's also important that a woman continues to take pride in her appearance.

I've seen some women who've totally let themselves go after getting married and having kids. I don't for a moment expect a woman in her late 30's who's popped out a couple of kids to have the body of a 20 year old - but some women don't seem to make any effort whatsoever - I'd find that a bit of a turn-off.

So basically, personality, looks and intelligence - us men are simple creatures.

Wibbs

Lack of drama.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Playboy

Wibbs wrote: »

Lack of drama.

QFT

Uriel.

Barely There wrote: »

Despite it being clichéd, intelligence and personality are the main factors.
It's also important that a woman continues to take pride in her appearance.

I've seen some women who've totally let themselves go after getting married and having kids. I don't for a moment expect a woman in her late 30's who's popped out a couple of kids to have the body of a 20 year old - but some women don't seem to make any effort whatsoever - I'd find that a bit of a turn-off.

So basically, personality, looks and intelligence - us men are simple creatures.

I would agree with this, and the "lack of drama" matter as well.

Also, I think it is important that she maintains her circle of friends. Women are great and all but I regularly want to do things with friends and just as important... I regularly just want to be myself, whether it's watching a film/tv show, playing around the computer, or just general lazing around.

In every relationship I've been in I have always favoured a level of freedom to exist. it gets stale very quickly when it doesn't.

So for me, definitely I like to see a girl he maintains her friends and does things very regularly with them.

Barely There

Keeping things exciting in the bedroom department helps too.

Moat_Cailin

One that acknowledges your existence is always nice.

raze_them_all_

Being left to my own devices, not being crowded, expected to text constantly and getting an earful if i don't text them for a day

Panthro

kneesocks11 wrote: »

Going to go right out and pop the question!

What keeps you fine Gentlemen interested in a woman?

What are your thoughts on the subject OP?

And will our replies end up in an article somewhere by any chance?!

ancapailldorcha

kneesocks11 wrote: »

Going to go right out and pop the question!

What keeps you fine Gentlemen interested in a woman?

What initially attracts my attetion? Physical attractiveness.

What hold my attention? Intelligence, humor and the ability to provide good conversation.

cson

Wibbs wrote: »

Lack of drama.

+1

The older I get the more I value general mental stability and soundness over attractiveness.

Though you'd be aiming for both ideally.

Knex*

cson wrote: »

+1

The older I get the more I value general mental stability and soundness over attractiveness.

Though you'd be aiming for both ideally.

I'd agree, but I think attraction has to come first. Once you're attracted, if she ticks the personality and non drama boxes, then she definitely has my long term interest.

Goes without saying that sex needs to feature as well. No good having all the above and then a poor sex life, but I suppose this ties in with the attraction anyway, from a male perspective.

_Kaiser_

I don't want much...

- Sense of humor, intelligence, can hold a conversation (and I'm not talking about the latest soap happenings or reality nonsense), knows her own mind, generally relaxed and no drama
- Doesn't have to be joined at the hip. Has and values her own life as well as our life together and independent of family/mammy etc
- Can say what she thinks - no bull or gameplaying or "tests" etc
- Looks are a factor too of course (let's be honest like!) but I'm not into the Barbie doll/fake tan look.. as long as she makes an effort to look after herself and there's an attraction there that'll do me nicely

Ditch

Kneesocks; Nothing.

Seriously. I've no further interest in women, these days, beyond the usual, passing, licentious thoughts on seeing a nice looking one. Hell, I probably have such thoughts about Half the women I see!

But, that's it. Sorry. Absolutely no further interest in having them around me. I prefer my Dogs. Dogs are straightforward creatures.

My horses make a good example. My mare is much more like a woman. When She's in the mood for it? She's a pleasure to be around. But, if she gets a 'mare' on? Hells teeth ....!

Women are too much like that. My Dogs are just themselves. Every day and night. They have their ways and those ways don't change. Suits me. No drama with Dogs.

BopNiblets

I too say no drama, just be cool...

Like me :pac:

quadrifoglio verde

Intelligent, good personality, willing to make be laugh, out going and active. Also up for it in the bedroom, kitchen table etc etc. Looks aren't too important, once she looks after herself. The closer she is to 10 in the other categories, the closer she can be to 0 in the looks.

It's possible to meet a woman that ticks the first few categories, but seldomly the one who ticks the 10 in looks, doesn't score more than a 4 in the others.
Obviously this applies to relationships for me! Totally different if it's a one night stand
You rarely here of a man giving out about his wives looks, you always hear him give out about nagging, not enough sex, boring.

Pawwed Rig

kneesocks11 wrote: »

Going to go right out and pop the question!

What keeps you fine Gentlemen interested in a woman?

Hi kneesocks. Do you have an opinion on this?

aaaaaaaahhhhhh

No 1 for me is she would need to have her own set of friends.
You have a night with the lads, she has it with the girls etc.
No friends = clingy
Clingyness=failed relationship

Plus alot of what was already mentioned, respect, can hold a convetsation, not a drama queen

kneesocks11

Being a woman, I think a man looses interest quickly early on in the "dating stage" if the woman shows too much interest in him, initiates contact all the time (this I never do), makes herself too available etc. Men love a chase, as do women! After all, we all want what we can't have!

I've been with guys before where lets say, if I liked one and showed that I did like him (He liked me a looot in the start too, he would ask to meet up quite a bit and of course I agreed because I liked him too) He soon started to get bored because there was no chase anymore and I would agree to meet up at every request.

On the other end of the scale, I had another guy who liked me, I sort of liked him (wasn't sure/keen) as well but not as much as guy number 1. So, I lacked on returning calls/texts and didn't really pay much attention to him at all and he blew up my phone! I was getting texts all of the time even when I didn't reply and if I did, with a short answer not to lead him on, he would try to pursue me even more. He was relentless and the other guy had gone for the hills.

Now I'm with guy number 3 and I'm a small bit lost, I'm not really a game player! I can hold a conversation, be funny and the rest..I'm all good in that department

ancapailldorcha

kneesocks11 wrote: »

Being a woman, I think a man looses interest quickly early on in the "dating stage" if the woman shows too much interest in him, initiates contact all the time (this I never do), makes herself too available etc. Men love a chase, as do women! After all, we all want what we can't have!

Personally, the chase gets really old really quickly. I'm no expert at differentiating between whether she wants me to "chase" her or just doesn't fancy me so I never bother any more. There are too many nice ladies who don't play games for me to try my hand with.

kneesocks11

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Personally, the chase gets really old really quickly. I'm no expert at differentiating between whether she wants me to "chase" her or just doesn't fancy me so I never bother any more. There are too many nice ladies who don't play games for me to try my hand with.

I'm against the whole playing games thing as well. It's proven to work. There's books out there now teaching women why being a bitch is key to keeping a man. Titled: "Why men love Bitches"

ancapailldorcha

kneesocks11 wrote: »

I'm against the whole playing games thing as well. It's proven to work. There's books out there now teaching women why being a bitch is key to keeping a man. Titled: "Why men love Bitches"

It's like PUA and women. It'll work on a subset of men. Thing is, do you want a long term relationship with a guy who's got so little self-respect that he'll lower himself to this level.

quadrifoglio verde

kneesocks11 wrote: »

I'm against the whole playing games thing as well. It's proven to work. There's books out there now teaching women why being a bitch is key to keeping a man. Titled: "Why men love Bitches"

Men HATE bitches. I can't think of anything more frustrating than a women who acts like that. Thankfully most don't and the ones who do, are recognisable early on

strobe

kneesocks11 wrote: »

I'm against the whole playing games thing as well. It's proven to work. There's books out there now teaching women why being a bitch is key to keeping a man. Titled: "Why men love Bitches"

There's books out there now that'll teach you how to find out your specific guardian angel's name and the best way to ask them to help you get that promotion you've been wanting. Or the mathematical formula that will make a woman that doesn't find you sexually attractive want to have sex with you the night they meet you.

Desperate people of all kinds will believe anything they want to believe. And other people will be more than happy to sell it to them.

Far from a new thing.

kneesocks11

quadrifoglio verde wrote: »

Men HATE bitches. I can't think of anything more frustrating than a women who acts like that. Thankfully most don't and the ones who do, are recognisable early on

Of course they do! After 2 weeks or so of a woman being a bitch a man is sure to run a mile.

poeticjustice

Ditch wrote: »

Kneesocks; Nothing.

Seriously. I've no further interest in women, these days, beyond the usual, passing, licentious thoughts on seeing a nice looking one. Hell, I probably have such thoughts about Half the women I see!

But, that's it. Sorry. Absolutely no further interest in having them around me. I prefer my Dogs. Dogs are straightforward creatures.

My horses make a good example. My mare is much more like a woman. When She's in the mood for it? She's a pleasure to be around. But, if she gets a 'mare' on? Hells teeth ....!

Women are too much like that. My Dogs are just themselves. Every day and night. They have their ways and those ways don't change. Suits me. No drama with Dogs.

Ditch loves bitches apparently

Joking. I'm the same. No drama, no worries

Morf

If she likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain .. .

FunLover18

Ditch wrote: »

My mare is much more like a woman. When She's in the mood for it?

:eek:

Is that legal!?

Good looks to spike initial interest, sense of humour to round it off.

Wibbs

kneesocks11 wrote: »

Being a woman, I think a man looses interest quickly early on in the "dating stage" if the woman shows too much interest in him, initiates contact all the time (this I never do), makes herself too available etc. Men love a chase, as do women! After all, we all want what we can't have!

That gets old real quickly and that sorta stuff sets off lots of little red flags for me. Near a guarantee of a drama queen down the line.

kneesocks11 wrote: »

I'm against the whole playing games thing as well. It's proven to work. There's books out there now teaching women why being a bitch is key to keeping a man. Titled: "Why men love Bitches"

As has been said by ancapailldorcha it'll work on a subset of men and this usually means a subset of men you wouldn't want it to work on. Plus by its very nature acting like this can't last long. Any man with a working spine will walk and walk fast, usually after he gets the ride. Build up the chase too much and the catch will be disappointing.

Like I said in my first post; no drama.

Barely There

A good selection of exciting lingerie.

well I am a women and my opinion is that its really simple if someone fancies you, that what keeps someone interested, you cant make someone interested in you or fancy you if there is not an underlying attraction in the first place.

People make these things much more complicated that they are.

quadrifoglio verde

mariaalice wrote: »

well I am a women and my opinion is that its really simple if someone fancies you, that what keeps someone interested, you cant make someone interested in you or fancy you if there is not an underlying attraction in the first place.

People make these things much more complicated that they are.

And as I posted in another thread (and got ridiculed for) I wasn't attracted to my gf the first few times if met her. It was only after I got to know her that the attraction grew.

Wibbs

Different strokes for different folks I suppose. Personally I've never had a woman "grow on me" after a while. From the get go they passed the Willyometer(tm) or they didn't. Personality would defo grow on me, but it wouldn't get the chance to without the sexual attraction first.

quadrifoglio verde

Wibbs wrote: »

Different strokes for different folks I suppose. Personally I've never had a woman "grow on me" after a while. From the get go they passed the Wibbyometer(tm) or they didn't. Personality would defo grow on me, but it wouldn't get the chance to without the sexual attraction first.

FYP


Id have said the same until it happened to me and I actually felt terrible (and still do) about it, that I nearly wrote her off based on the first few times I saw her:o


Never have a watch that grew on you looks wise overtime.....



(sorry couldn't resist)

cson

Wibbs wrote: »

Different strokes for different folks I suppose. Personally I've never had a woman "grow on me" after a while. From the get go they passed the Willyometer(tm) or they didn't. Personality would defo grow on me, but it wouldn't get the chance to without the sexual attraction first.

I think that's pretty much an intrinsically male thing though Wibbs. I fully agree with you though. Its a bit different for women imo; they'd probably be a little more forgiving attraction wise - look at the fella Kate Upton (topical :pac:) is with - and while I know he's probably loaded, its not as if she'd find it hard to shack up with a similarly loaded but better looking fella.

ancapailldorcha

Wibbs wrote: »

Different strokes for different folks I suppose. Personally I've never had a woman "grow on me" after a while. From the get go they passed the Willyometer(tm) or they didn't. Personality would defo grow on me, but it wouldn't get the chance to without the sexual attraction first.

I have to disagree with you there. It's happened to me a few times with a few girls I've worked with over time.

People using games and tactics will generally find each other thankfully.

Sleepy

The quickest way to lose my interest would be to be uninterested, uninteresting or unenthusiastic sexually.

A low libido and / or "good Irish Catholic" attitude would kill any interest I had in a woman pretty quickly.

Wibbs

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

I have to disagree with you there. It's happened to me a few times with a few girls I've worked with over time.

Oh sure, like I said we're all different but it's never happened to me.

Galwayguy35

kneesocks11 wrote: »

Being a woman, I think a man looses interest quickly early on in the "dating stage" if the woman shows too much interest in him, initiates contact all the time (this I never do), makes herself too available etc. Men love a chase, as do women! After all, we all want what we can't have!

I've been with guys before where lets say, if I liked one and showed that I did like him (He liked me a looot in the start too, he would ask to meet up quite a bit and of course I agreed because I liked him too) He soon started to get bored because there was no chase anymore and I would agree to meet up at every request.

On the other end of the scale, I had another guy who liked me, I sort of liked him (wasn't sure/keen) as well but not as much as guy number 1. So, I lacked on returning calls/texts and didn't really pay much attention to him at all and he blew up my phone! I was getting texts all of the time even when I didn't reply and if I did, with a short answer not to lead him on, he would try to pursue me even more. He was relentless and the other guy had gone for the hills.

Now I'm with guy number 3 and I'm a small bit lost, I'm not really a game player! I can hold a conversation, be funny and the rest..I'm all good in that department

Can't say I ever had any interest in "the chase", I was intersted in a woman years ago, asked her out and she told me she wasn't interested in dating me but she gave me her number and we spent the next few weeks chatting and txting most days.

I made no secret of the fact that I liked her but accepted she wasn't interested in anything more than being friends so I asked someone else out on a date only for the first person to txt me telling me that she did want to date me and how come I couldn't see the "signals" she was sending out.

Men aren't mind readers, women should let us know if they are interested or not.

kneesocks11

kneesocks11 wrote: »

Going to go right out and pop the question!

What keeps you fine Gentlemen interested in a woman?

I have my ongoing targets and goals in life.

The women that come with me on that journey share those goals.

If that changed I might lose interest - or not - depending on how else we complement each other -

But I remain interested in the girls because they are still on the same path as I am. And nothing else matters.

Penny Tration

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Can't say I ever had any interest in "the chase", I was intersted in a woman years ago, asked her out and she told me she wasn't interested in dating me but she gave me her number and we spent the next few weeks chatting and txting most days.

I made no secret of the fact that I liked her but accepted she wasn't interested in anything more than being friends so I asked someone else out on a date only for the first person to txt me telling me that she did want to date me and how come I couldn't see the "signals" she was sending out.

Men aren't mind readers, women should let us know if they are interested or not.

This is how I (female) do things. If I like someone, I make it clear. I don't get obsessive, I just show an interest, and initiate texts half of the time. So much easier than 'playing it cool,' and being myself has never failed to get me somebody I wanted.

Knex*

green_screen wrote: »

This is how I (female) do things. If I like someone, I make it clear. I don't get obsessive, I just show an interest, and initiate texts half of the time. So much easier than 'playing it cool,' and being myself has never failed to get me somebody I wanted.

When women don't do this, I always assume that either they themselves aren't interested, or that it's more effort than it is worth.

I've no time or interest in chasing the aloof because they believe it to be some sort of courting etiquette.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Unless a woman's acting like a bitch in heat towards me I always assume she's not interested, playing hard-to-get doesn't work on me.

beano345

Sound for a start with a good understanding of life,girls that label themselves as a bitch and treat it as some kind of admirable quality is an instant turn off for me,all too common nowadays I'd put it up there with that Marilyn quote

Emme

Wibbs wrote: »

Lack of drama.

Date a mannequin

Only joking but from what I see it's a the drama queens who get dates all the time. As a relatively quiet woman I get far less attention than drama queens.

Wibbs

Some men are just suckers for punishment, or they buy into the idea that women are emotional and dramatic as a gender so they expect nothing less and will go along with all that, or they don't have a great choice in the dating market in the first place so will accept more emotionals, or they see themselves in the fixer/older brother/daddy role and feed off that, even enable it*. Of course they'll nearly always take more drama from a good looking women than a plain one.




*I've seen that one often enough. I've a mate who is one of the soundest human beings you could meet. So long as you're not bumping uglies with her. Major drama queen in relationships, yet as a mate you couldn't ask for better. I can't recall a single incident where she's pulled any drama on me. I couldn't figure why, until I watched her various blokes over the years. She had a "type" and they enabled her dramatics and one fed the other. Very odd.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

Some men are just suckers for punishment, or they buy into the idea that women are emotional and dramatic as a gender so they expect nothing less and will go along with all that, or they don't have a great choice in the dating market in the first place so will accept more emotionals, or they see themselves in the fixer/older brother/daddy role and feed off that, even enable it*. Of course they'll nearly always take more drama from a good looking women than a plain one.

Friend of mine is on-and-off with a one who's proper mental and latched on. I asked him why, he said that that's just what ya have to expect if you're going out with someone. Yet I'm the sexist somehow. :P