Deleting someone from Facebook

LegacyUser

I had a brief fling with a guy last year. We remained friends on Facebook despite his seeming disinterest in me. Since the fling ended (by his choice) he has been liking the odd thing on my facebook page and invited me to things, he also wished me a happy birthday. (He also messaged me on one occasion.)
I found this behaviour odd, because if it was me that ended things, I would have no interest in the other person's life whatsoever.
I haven't been really looking at his page, because to be honest I like him and don't want to see what he's up to, as I don't want to get hurt (he's hidden from my newsfeed).
It was recently his birthday and I stupidly wished him a happy birthday on FB. He didn't acknowledge it and now I just want to unfriend him because I find his behaviour head-wrecking and if he was truly interested he would man up and do something more substantial than facebook.

Anyway I just want to know, if I unfriended him, would it look like the whole situation was bothering me and would he get an ego-boost from it?
How would it look from his end? I don't want to stroke his ego again. At the same time if I unfriended him I know it would be the end of anything ever happening between us.
To be honest I think he is just immature and doesn't want to be tied down rather than a lack of interest on his part. I could be wrong though.

Anyway can someone advise me. The thought of unfriending him is actually upsetting to me, but if it is for the best then I will have to do it.
Thanks for reading

Pawwed Rig

TBH he probably won't even notice. Just do it and forget about it.

LegacyUser

I think you will feel better for yourself if you delete him, never mind what he thinks. If this is going to help you in any way at all then by all means, hit that delete button ASAP

Little Lion Woman

Doesn't seem like there's much point having him as a friend as he's hidden from your newsfeed and his presence seems to be annoying you so you should get rid!

So what if he thinks you're doing it because you're upset, people will believe what they want to believe. I bet you'll feel empowered by deleting him

Stavro Mueller

So in other words you're friends with this guy on Facebook because you're hoping that he'll come to his senses and ask you out?

Reading what you've written I'm not seeing much hope of that. It's a year since you and him had this fling. Or to look at it another way, he has had a year to ask you out again and hasn't done it. I'd be slow to buy the immature comment as well - are you sure it's not just you justifying why things didn't work out between you two? Maybe he senses you want something more and that's why he didn't acknowledge your Happy Birthday greeting. Did he like or comment on the other Happy Birthday posts on his wall at the time?

You've wasted a year of your life waiting for this guy so cutting the cord would be good for you. It's interesting that you've blocked him from your feed and don't want to look at his page - it's as if you're doing your best to keep your hopes alive and you don't want it spoiled by seeing things that would put an end to the fantasy. In the meantime you've effectively taken yourself off the market. All in the hope that someone who wasn't all that pushed about you last year and doesn't seem all that enthused this one might have a change of heart. De-friending him would be no bad thing. He's not your friend and I doubt he thinks about you very much at all

fizzypish

FB is a low commitment form of communication. Just unfriend. It doesn't matter. You want nothing to do with him so no loss.

Dutchess

It's so strange to me how much Facebook has taken control of our lives. I think it has made socialising way to easy and has made people lazy. On top of that unfriending someone has been made into this significant declaration of war, which is crazy when you think about it. I deleted my normal account with photos and friends because of the privacy settings issues en because I too read a lot into what people liked, commented...it's not healthy to know someone's whereabouts at all times. Now I only use it to follow organisations/companies/etc., not individual people. I like pages but I don't friend people and have no profile pic or any personal information up.

I have friends who would get bored at work and they would spend their time commenting on every photo, status etc. Not out of true interest, but to have something to do. So reading interest or disinterest in someone's behaviour on Facebook will drive you crazy. On top of that, it's a website, it does malfunction, so when you post something, another person may not even see it. It is not a true representation of life and relationships.

Do what is easiest for you. If that is unfriending, then unfriend. To be honest, if he likes you and there is a chance of a real relationship, something as trivial as Facebook should have no influence on that.

catonthewire

My ex unfriended me on FB and asked me to do likewise, at the time I was angry and hurt, then I realised it was his issue not mine....
I use FB for fun, too keep in contact with FRIENDS, this guy is obviously merely an acquaintance in your life, simply delete him and move on....

When relationships end, a fling in your case, it's not healthy too keep tabs on an ex, you already admitted that his page was of no interest to you...
I think you already know the ans, delete ....

LegacyUser

apart from the fling how well did you know him? if you hardly knew him then delete him if in the unlikely scenario he ask why then say you hadnt seen him in a while and you were doing a cull

also some people spend all their time on facebook and reply to or like everything its easy to misread these things on facebook. i myself couldnt understand why i kept getting game requests from someone i liked who turned me down until i realised it was automatic

Sun in Capri

Agree completely with Dutchess. FB has taken over some peoples lives and what about all the "friends" that people have never met and probably never will? In my view it is an abuse of the word "friend". I am imagining that the OP is a young person and FB probably is a much bigger part of life for the younger generation than for older folk like me. That being said no matter what the generation if you need to get over someone who has ended a relationship with you, the best thing is to remove yourself from their lives completely where possible, and that includes the facebook aspects.

Stavro Mueller

blackrainbowdance wrote: »

At the same time if I unfriended him I know it would be the end of anything ever happening between us.

To me, this is what the OP's real issue is. She likes this guy although nothing has happened between them since their fling last year. Being friends with him on Facebook is bothering her yet she's afraid to unfriend him for the reason highlighted above.

skallywag

blackrainbowdance wrote: »

... if I unfriended him, would it look like the whole situation was bothering me and would he get an ego-boost from it? ...

I'm feeling great about myself now, I guess all those women who have defriended me over the years must have really been heavily into me, rather than just not really interested in what I had to say on FB :rolleyes:

OP, from what you have presented so far it seems to me that this chap has no further romantic interest in you, but still keeps contact through likes etc and the odd message. I have exs who I do the same with, and exs who do this to me.

I don't think he will get an ego kick at all out of you defriending him, he will most likely rather be left bewildered as to why you have done it.

Chattastrophe!

Rather than just deleting him, block him. That way, if he goes to search for your page, he won't be able to see it at all and he'll probably assume you've deactivated your Facebook account. So you don't need to worry about offending him.

Honestly I think you're really overthinking the whole thing. And sorry to be harsh, but it seems very unlikely that he has any interest in rekindling things with you.

If he does decide to ask you out at some point in the future, if he wants to get in touch with you badly enough, he'll find a way.

veganrun

Just block him. I was seeing a girl earlier this year who I really liked and she ended things. She treated me well and didn't mess me around or anything but like you, I realised I didn't want to see what she was up to. I also didn't want to see when she started dating someone else.

Like you, I felt a bit of guilt about it, well a lot in my case as this was the nicest girl I have ever met. However I realised that we were never going to get back together and being just friends was probably never going to be enough for me so I just blocked her.

For me anyway, I can't move on if I'm still in contact with someone. Some people can and that's fair enough, but I don't really get why people are sort of expected to stay in contact with someone they are no longer dating. I mean you don't still go back to work at a job you left.

Block him and move on.