Life in Turmoil

LegacyUser

My whole life is heading in a downward spiral and I'm here to seek advice on which direction I should go.

I recently returned home from 2 years abroad. I had the most amazing time away, was very settled and extremely happy. I loved the country and wanted to stay there long term. I was in a relationship with a local girl - I really liked her but wasn't exactly completely in love with her. Everything was going great and I was full of confidence. My visa was running out and I was unable to renew it unless I go on her visa. Meaning we would have to move in together and be committed to the relationship. I knew deep down that I didn't want to marry her so decided not to take the visa, return home and leave my girlfriend. it was a difficult breakup but I knew it was for the best.

That's when it all stated going downhill. I returned home and hated it. I had to live with my parents - both they wanted me out and I wanted to move out. With nobody to move out with I'm finding it extremely difficult to find a shared house. I feel that every place I view, the people think I'm weird.

I got a great job. Sounded ideal on paper. Good pay and great career prospects. However, work life is a disaster. I never fitted in with the team. Nobody ever talks to me, even thou I tried making the effort. There is a big group of young people in my department and they all go to the canteen for lunch except me. I was never invited. I always felt intimated going to the canteen on my own with so many groups of people there so never went. Now I just sit at my desk and each lunch with nobody to talk to. I constantly feel completely stressed out in work and can't wind down after work. I'm always extremely tired and depressed. And now when I do talk to people, I always get the feeling they think I'm weird. The thought of waking up every morning and going to work kills me.

I've also met the most amazing girl in the world a few months ago. She is literally the most beautiful girl I have ever seen never mind met. However, I pretty much know that she is going to leave me soon. Most likely in the next few weeks. And I have nobody to blame but myself. When I do wind down, we get on great (very rare I do wind down without alcohol and she doesn't even drink). However, since I'm so stressed and depressed all the time, the conversations are difficult. I feel so awkward at times due to my lose of confidence. I can't look her in the eyes sometimes because I lost every bit of confidence I had due to work and my living situation. I don't know what I'm going to do when she leaves.

I'm in my late 20's now so all my friends have moved on with their girlfriends. Most are getting married or in long term relationships. I'm not close enough to talk to any of them about my depression or stress. My family are stuck in the stone age so I don't want to talk to them. They wouldn't understand.

I really don't know what advice I am asking for but can't somebody please point me in the right direction to go to seek help. Will I just start with my GP? Is there any cheap counselling? What is your opinion of the matter? How can I gain my confidence back? How can I overcome this depression?

Tokyo

Hi OP,

To be honest it sounds like you are already on the right track in thinking that seeking out a counsellor might help. Your GP should be able to point you in the right direction; alternatively, the Psychology forum has an excellent sticky thread on How to find a Counsellor/Therapist/Psychologist which can be found here.

Corkgirl210

I remember when I returned home after living away.. it was so depressing.. I had to re-adjust to life again and was living with my parents.. it took time but after about 6 months I was back happy again...

its all change but sounds to me like your job is the problem... get out if you are not happy... it seems to be sucking the life out of you.. I have come through a really rough time in work lately but I still don't feel like that? Maybe go to theraphy to see what you need to look at..
wishing you all the best.. it might be an option to open up to your girlfriend too & let her know whats really going on with you.. she will be supportive.. (most of us women are..)

Rubberchikken

You've suffered loss, where you were, your job and a girlfriend you really liked.
Then you had to come back to live with your parents. Thats a lot to deal with.
A chat with your gp would be a good start.

Woukd you be able to go down to the canteen for lunch, maybe others think you aren't interested in joining them.
Best of luck

Merkin

I think you should look for a new job. You obviously dislike the one you're in and have not settled so looking for something new in a central location beside lots of shared houses and apartments to let would be a great start for you.