nearly homeless at 17 help !

Sandrutute

Well to start of . At 16 I had a pretty bad operation. I was living with my parents in their owned house . As I was recovering slowly and not as good as I wanted my father didn't care. so one morning he was bullying my mother so I got up and just said to calm down cause i'm not well with 39 temperature and inflamation after operation so then my father started smashing my head and obusing me and it wasn't the first time I got sick of it and I ran away from home to my bf . My mother said not to go back . After 2 weeks she left the house , rented out property . Now everything settled mum is happy got her wages bigger , father is happy building up the house . But the only problem is me . My parents don't supply me with the money , I only get child benefit 130/month and i'm 17 now . Mom is happy with her guitar courses, partying , dinner and stuff and tells me that she has no money to support me even if I move in with her. And the father tells me he supplyed for me 16 years and if I want even 10 euro from him I have to do all the stuff for him etc , solicitors, engineers for the house and my father is from another country. Me and my boyfriend nearly make the ends meet he works flexy time when I added on it became harder and i'm at my leaving cert now . Is there any help I can receive from government ? Even 50 eu/ week would do good even for the food ! I'm going crazy ... Help help !? Give me advise ?

Into The Blue

Sue them for child support till you're 18, backdating it to when you moved out.

Then at 18 you should be entitled to job seekers or some form of social welfare.

The_Conductor

Go down to your local public health centre.
The Community Welfare Officer will be able to explain to you what your entitlements and rights are.

Sandrutute

I just did , What they have told me that i'm not in titled for anything , I should live with my mother even if she doesn't have money to support me, No matter what i said she looked at me cheeky and always said i should live with my mother, My nerves just went mental and i told her so I should commit a suicide then if there is no help for me ! and he said the same thing again you have to live with your mother, She gave me some Form FIS1 She said my mom could receive 80 euro / week for me support.
But seriously this is very unfair on people aged 17 years old ! what if there parents trews them out ?? what den ? they start burgling and all that stuff because government don't give support ? I could go of and work and be ok , But i want to have an education, Leaving cert , college or university , great job and all... And Government doesn't give a ****e

The_Conductor

I'm really sorry in that case- the CWO is fully up to speed on people's rights and entitlements- and in your case, you don't meet the criteria for assistance.

Parents do have a duty of care for their children, totally aside from their moral obligations- and your parents seem to be taking the biscuit. Even if your Mum wants to behave like a new age hippie- I can't see her shoving you out the door, were you to turn up looking for accommodation- and indeed- if she did- instead of running off to your boyfriend- you could then run to the CWO- and tell her you're homeless- which is not the situation you're currently in.

Once you move in with your boyfriend- you are not homeless. If you are intent on staying with him- perhaps going down the route of viewing yourselves as a family might help- there is Family Income Supplement and other top-up payments that might assist you.

The whole situation seems surreal- is there any merit in talking to the CWO privately and asking her personal advice on what your best options are?

Paddy Cow

Have you contacted Social Services and explained the situation to them? Maybe they could help you out. I have absolutely no legal training but in cases of divorce/separation the parents are always expected to be financially responsible for their child until the child reaches 18. If they can't force your parents to pay child support, maybe they can get you some sort of allowance.

Also speak to your GP. They are a great source of support and will put you in contact with the relevant authorities.

OP I hope things work out for you. I remember leaving home at 18 and that was a huge adjustment. I cannot imagine having to leave home and the parents basically telling me that I'm on my own. You and your boyfriend sound like you are trying to make the best of a bad situation and are showing a lot more maturity than many people with ten years on you.

There is help out there but you need to find it. I am shocked that your parents are willing to send you out into the world at such a young age with no support at all :mad: You are better off out of it though. I can't believe that your father bashed your head when you were sick and your mother said that she can't afford to have you live with her. People often say that life is unfair but you really did draw the short straw

The only advice I can give you is to keep trying to get help. Don't be put off by the unhelpful reaction you got from your CWO. Keep onto social services, your GP and even give childline a ring. There is always someone out there willing to help someone like you, you just have to find them. Other places that are good to try are St Vincent de Paul and other charities like them.

LoveChanel

Sandrutute wrote: »

Well to start of . At 16 I had a pretty bad operation. I was living with my parents in their owned house . As I was recovering slowly and not as good as I wanted my father didn't care. so one morning he was bullying my mother so I got up and just said to calm down cause i'm not well with 39 temperature and inflamation after operation so then my father started smashing my head and obusing me and it wasn't the first time I got sick of it and I ran away from home to my bf . My mother said not to go back . After 2 weeks she left the house , rented out property . Now everything settled mum is happy got her wages bigger , father is happy building up the house . But the only problem is me . My parents don't supply me with the money , I only get child benefit 130/month and i'm 17 now . Mom is happy with her guitar courses, partying , dinner and stuff and tells me that she has no money to support me even if I move in with her. And the father tells me he supplyed for me 16 years and if I want even 10 euro from him I have to do all the stuff for him etc , solicitors, engineers for the house and my father is from another country. Me and my boyfriend nearly make the ends meet he works flexy time when I added on it became harder and i'm at my leaving cert now . Is there any help I can receive from government ? Even 50 eu/ week would do good even for the food ! I'm going crazy ... Help help !? Give me advise ?

If your still in 2nd level education it's the law that they both have to financially support you. Good luck

Esel

The_Conductor wrote: »

I'm really sorry in that case- the CWO is fully up to speed on people's rights and entitlements- and in your case, you don't meet the criteria for assistance.

Parents do have a duty of care for their children, totally aside from their moral obligations- and your parents seem to be taking the biscuit. Even if your Mum wants to behave like a new age hippie- I can't see her shoving you out the door, were you to turn up looking for accommodation- and indeed- if she did- instead of running off to your boyfriend- you could then run to the CWO- and tell her you're homeless- which is not the situation you're currently in.

Once you move in with your boyfriend- you are not homeless. If you are intent on staying with him- perhaps going down the route of viewing yourselves as a family might help- there is Family Income Supplement and other top-up payments that might assist you.

The whole situation seems surreal- is there any merit in talking to the CWO privately and asking her personal advice on what your best options are?

CWO did say that the mother could get €80 / week FIS (Family Income Supplement). [Might not work out well for the OP, though, as they might never see any of that money, even as pocket money...]

Having said that, your suggestion to go back to the CWO and ask about FIS as a couple/family with her partner is very good advice.

spurious

LoveChanel wrote: »

If your still in 2nd level education it's the law that they both have to financially support you. Good luck

What law is that?

OP, you need to go back to the CWO. Sometimes you need to go a few times to get someone who actually knows what is available. It sounds like your best option might be to move in with your BF and to look for FIS to supplement your boyfriends wages.

InReality

feel sorry for you op , try some of the good advice given above. what do your parents expect you to do at 16/17 ?

Roselm

Try contacting social work department at the local health center as they have lots of info on supports you can access and can act as mediator if you need to talk to your parents about what to do next.
Good luck

Roselm

Roselm wrote: »

Try contacting social work department at the local health center as they have lots of info on supports you can access and can act as mediator if you need to talk to your parents about what to do next.
Good luck

Also go on tusla.ie Its the new child and family agency

Sandrutute

Sorry it took me a long time to get back, Thank you so much for the support. I even started crying by reading the advises you gave me . Now i understood that my mum is a 2 faced bitch that only cares about her self. I gave her the FIS1 form to get ir sorted and the form is till somewhere in the corner not carrying that i need money ! She crys that she doesn't have money to support me but look at her now only 4 k left to give back to the bank, She got a private guitar courses, She is talking about going out to the pubs etc , she got a puppy has money to care for him , and i only got 30 euro for my school, Come on i'm in 6th year I need exam papers, money for all the day out's and all that. But well I started Working at butchers on Saturdays for 8.5 hours earning 70 euro , Started working home as nail technician earning a little bit.

My father just reminds me that i deserved that living on my own back is what i needed and i was always spoiled but remembering back i was working at summers saving my own money , got my self always a new phone and my parents didn't give me anything, Just 20 euro a month from my child benefit ! And always said that child benefit is for them because they gave me a life not for me to spend on clothes and i should be happy that i have a roof over my head and food.

We are happy that my bf got more hours to work , I have no idea what will be do when his work will start giving him 15 hours a week 180 eu !! how are you ment to live on that . But We can't apply for FIS as a partners because i'm 17 so i'm not ment to live with him at all, So by the law i would be homeless because it's under law for me to live with him.
The only help i can get is by getting FIS1 on my mum 87.60 euro/week And trying for my bf to get rent supplement and fuel supplement .

I feel so depressed , if we get to a fight i well that i have no where to go. I could just quit school and get a job but i really badly want to go business and law in university that is my passion and i was dreaming about it from age of 11 !
I'll get it trow some how , we will manage .

The_Conductor

In all honesty- I would park myself down in the Community Welfare Officers office. I would tell her- that I was not going anywhere until she sorted something. And I would tell her- that she has two hours- after that you are calling the local radio station to send a few journalists to keep you company- and as the day progresses- do just that.

Community Welfare Officers- have hardship funds they can assign to critical cases- and I'm sorry, but your case sounds pretty critical to me.

Gatling

From reading some past posts op sounds like you have an income at least .
Is your bf working at all or are you's both still in secondary school

InReality

Hang on in there.