Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

ex boyfriend from many years ago died

  • 18-08-2014 10:41pm
    #1
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭


    This maybe kind of strange to people here that have lost someone very close.
    I recently found out that an old ex boyfriend died. In fact he committed suicide and his body wasn't found for 3 weeks.
    It happened last year and the last time I spoke with him was about 3 or 4 years ago.
    We were together for over 2 years and lived together for most of that time. But it was a very long time ago, when we were very young, about 18 years ago.
    Neither of us married or had children but we were in contact very very occasionally.
    I know he had his demons but I'm devastated.

    I can't believe I will never see or talk to him again.
    I keep thinking of him as he was going to do it, what was he thinking? How bad did he feel?
    I just can't believe that this happened and although it was years since we went out, and we only spoke an odd time, I just keep thinking that maybe if I was in contact more he may have had someone else to talk to, maybe I could've helped.

    I just can't believe I won't see him/ chat to him again. I'm so upset, I think about him everyday since I heard. Its stupid because I didn't think about him everyday for years.
    I'm not really looking for advise, I'm sure I'll get over it and won't think of it everyday but its hard, I feel like I shouldn't be upset because we were over a long long time ago.
    I just can't shake the bad feelings about never seeing him again.


Comments

  • #2
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    I think what you are feeling is absolutely normal. This guy was part of your life and the fact that you stayed in touch, even periodically, means you still had some regard for each other.

    He had a sad ending alright but there was probably nothing you could have done, truth be known.

    It's ok to feel sad and to think about him. I know it shouldn't be this way but he has peace and his troubles are behind him. It might be nice to support his family by sending a card / letter and sharing your condolences plus maybe some nice memories you have of him.


  • #3
    Diane Selwyn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 257 ✭✭Diane Selwyn


    I don't really have any advice to offer but it doesn't seem strange to me at all that his death would affect you - you were once very close and had very strong feelings for each other as well as sharing plans and dreams. You should not entertain thoughts along the lines that 'things might have been different if...' as much as you have changed over the years he probably did as well. You have a right to grieve the loss of an important friend from your past.


Advertisement