Need advice on mental health

LegacyUser

I have a problem.

I'm not seeking medical advice by the way. I'm speaking to my gp and counsellor and I'm on the waiting list for a psych referral.

My problem is my declining mental health. I'm under a lot of pressure currently with family troubles, work stress and general life. Due to acute stress, I'm exhibiting worrying signs.

Background. I'm living at home as I have debts to clear before I can move out. My family know nothing of my mental health anguish.

My problem is that my gp wants to sign me off work sick for a few days as it is having a very negative effect on my head state. But as my family are not aware of mental stuff, I'd have to say it was physical illness.

My problem with this is exercise. It really helps with my head but if my family think I'm physically ill they will encourage me to rest.

Telling my family is currently not an option - there's so much going on and they are stuck in the Stone Age with their attitude towards mental health issues.

So what do I do?

cloud493

Well assuming you cant tell your family, why don't you just not tell them your exercising? Tell them your going for a walk or something, then head to the gym or for a run or whatever.

Penny Tration

Essentially, you need to lie to your family and say you have an illness that you can still exercise with?

Possibly say you have a bad muscular strain, and were told to go walking to help it?

It's very sad that you don't feel you can tell your family.

You've been really proactive in seeking help, so well done! Have you spoken to any friends regarding your health? You need to build a support network and if you truly can't tell your family, please talk to some friends.

stinkle

You sound a bit trapped, its an easy cycle to get into. Great that you find exercising helpful. As regards taking time off, have you any hours overtime to use up, or holidays you could say you have to take? No point inventing illnesses or elaborate reasons why you're off if it'll stress you out further (eg worrying about being found out, or nosy questions about sickness)

Its also great you can speak to your gp about this and that they're supportive.

MugMugs

Tell your family that you've taken some annual leave to relax. And do just that

stinkle

Muscle strain is a good one actually...and you can feel better quickly, but darn the doc signed you off for a few days and for insurance reasons you can't go back to work till the time is up...

LegacyUser

It's not that I want to tell my family that I'm exercising. It's more that if I'm signed off work sick, it will look dodgy me exercising.

I can't tell family about head stuff. I simply can't.

I have friends who are supportive but I'm sure they're getting tired of my constant battle so I've stopped trying to confide in them. I'm sick of me so I'm sure they are too.

But I see my counsellor every week and I'm sure the psych team will re-refer me for therapy whenever I get to see them. It's more the short term that I'm concerned for.

My productivity is shot in work. I'm not doing anything actually which is a problem in itself. But I'm doing enough that my manager doesn't know - I'm on top of things but struggling, and I'm not performing to the level that I know I can so I'm afraid I'll look lazy in comparison to what I said I could / would do. I'm only on short contract so if I don't buck up it won't be renewed

Not sure muscle strain would work - I'm not in a physically taxing job.

miamee

The main thing here is to adhere to your doctor's orders and take the time off.

Do you have a friend that you could visit for a few days when you take the time off? Can you say at home that you are a bit stressed in work and taking some annual leave days as someone has suggested above? Or if you have the money, would going somewhere for a couple of days help (not sure if this is possible with how you are feeling at the moment, just a suggestion). Hopefully you can think of something OP, you really need to take the time to give yourself a break.

Pawwed Rig

psychpatient wrote: »

It's not that I want to tell my family that I'm exercising. It's more that if I'm signed off work sick, it will look dodgy me exercising.

As Mugs says just tell them you had annual leave you had to take.

LegacyUser

I'm just in so many minds about it. I don't have any annual leave left (save for a few days to take time at Christmas) as I've used AL to go to medical appointments and counselling and the likes.

I can't work though. I'm sitting at my desk battling anxiety. It's so unbelievably hard. I just really want to (need to) talk but anyone I've reached out to is busy. I met my gp this morning and as soon as I left I remembered more important things I should have told her. She said to go back if I need but I don't want to be overly reliant on an already stretched system. I don't feel deserving of two appointments this week.

I see my counsellor at the end of the week but it's a long time from now until then. I don't want to be at home but I don't want to be in work. I'm stuck in limbo and so very confused about life.

Pawwed Rig

psychpatient wrote: »

I'm just in so many minds about it. I don't have any annual leave left (save for a few days to take time at Christmas) as I've used AL to go to medical appointments and counselling and the likes.

But you're not taking annual leave, you are taking sick leave. Just tell your family you are taking annual leave.

miamee

psychpatient wrote: »

I'm just in so many minds about it. I don't have any annual leave left (save for a few days to take time at Christmas) as I've used AL to go to medical appointments and counselling and the likes.

I can't work though. I'm sitting at my desk battling anxiety. It's so unbelievably hard. I just really want to (need to) talk but anyone I've reached out to is busy. I met my gp this morning and as soon as I left I remembered more important things I should have told her. She said to go back if I need but I don't want to be overly reliant on an already stretched system. I don't feel deserving of two appointments this week.

I see my counsellor at the end of the week but it's a long time from now until then. I don't want to be at home but I don't want to be in work. I'm stuck in limbo and so very confused about life.

Can you write down a list of the things you forgot to ask the GP about? When you are satisfied that you have written it all down, make another appointment or call the surgery and ask if the doctor would call you when it is convenient for her and ask all of the questions. Doctors are there to help people when they are ill and all sick people deserve to be treated. This includes you. If you need two appointments, then you need two appointments. You won't be taking up any one else's time or appointment, they will fit everyone in who needs to see the doctor.

If necessary, tell your family you had some annual leave days that you didn't know about or that you have taken a day or two unpaid leave.

New Home

Or that they've given you time off in lieu of overtime.

tenifan

Hi Op. I think you need to stop worrying what your family think!

Get signed off for a week. Tell your family it's annual leave. Do a lot of exercise.

InReality

Keep an eye out for when your being too hard on yourself , like feeling you don't deserve 2 appointments.
Being compassionate towards yourself is a very very helpful when dealing with anxiety and depression.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, I was in a very similar situation to yours a few years ago. My doctor also advised me to take time off work and signed me out with a slipped disc. Like you, exercise is something that I simply had to do so I went to the pool - swimming is one of the recommended sports fo this type of injury as it does not put a strain on the back. Best of luck, I do think you should follow your GPs advice though and take the time off.