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Confused..

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  • 17-08-2014 7:33pm
    #1
    sammyb
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭


    Right,
    My partner and I are considering having a civil wedding..
    Wonder Any of you that went that route and had children after - did any of ye not have a catholic christening' ceremony for your child? But had, say a 'baby naming ceremony'?
    We were both brought up Catholics. Though don't practice.
    Just not sure when you decide to go that way, how it works out with children.?
    So, say with schools, etc..
    Sorry to ask, maybe a dumb question.
    It's just I guess some of our generation not conforming to what say our parents did.
    So it's 'not the norm'..
    So if I went that route, which I'm open too, I just don't want to make it difficult for my say future Children have it potentially 'difficult fitting in' due to our choices..
    Anyone pondered these situations or either been through this? Just love to know how you found if?
    What you did?
    Cheers!!!!


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    #2
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    We didn't have a church wedding and didn't baptise. We've no intention of bsptising for spurious reasons like fitting in as none of the Catholic teachings reflects our moral or ethical beliefs. We hope by the time school comes around the system might be slightly more enlightened and we'll cross the communion and confirmation bridge if and when we need to.

    Tl/Dr not having any churchy stuff for our wedding and children is the right choice for us.


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    #3
    MadDog76
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,162 ✭✭✭MadDog76


    sammyb wrote: »
    Right,
    My partner and I are considering having a civil wedding..
    Wonder Any of you that went that route and had children after - did any of ye not have a catholic christening' ceremony for your child? But had, say a 'baby naming ceremony'?
    We were both brought up Catholics. Though don't practice.
    Just not sure when you decide to go that way, how it works out with children.?
    So, say with schools, etc..
    Sorry to ask, maybe a dumb question.
    It's just I guess some of our generation not conforming to what say our parents did.
    So it's 'not the norm'..
    So if I went that route, which I'm open too, I just don't want to make it difficult for my say future Children have it potentially 'difficult fitting in' due to our choices..
    Anyone pondered these situations or either been through this? Just love to know how you found if?
    What you did?
    Cheers!!!!

    A couple of friends of mine have gotten married in civil ceremonies ......... it has no affect on your children whatsoever, their children were baptised in Catholic churches and they go to Catholic schools.

    Their view, which I guess I share, is that they were raised in the Catholic faith and decided as adults that, for whatever reason, they would not practice Catholicism but at the same time that they would not deprive their children of the same choice(s) they were given being raised here in Catholic Ireland?


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    #4
    Libby029
    Registered Users Posts: 141 ✭✭Libby029


    We did it the other way around, we have two kids who are both baptised and we had a civil ceremony for our wedding. For us it was just the fact we had two small children and we wanted to be legally married.. the religious aspect of our wedding wasn't important to us. It may be something we will consider doing in the future, as we do attend mass and like a previous poster has said, I will raise them with my religion, if they wish to convert when they are older or just not practice that is up to them.


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    #5
    PuddingHead
    Registered Users Posts: 128 ✭✭PuddingHead


    I'm not married yet but we have one smallie, he's not christened, I'm as atheist as they come and his dad hates Catholicism although doesn't rule out the possiblity of there being a "god"...

    Your secular wedding will not effect your child.

    You can opt to have your child christened or not regardless of your wedding the church don't actually care if you believe or are just a traditionalist.

    Your child regardless of faith can attend any school, catholic denomination or no, my guy is preregistered for an Educate together school because quite frankly the idea of a school filled with white catholics isn't exactly the world he'll grow up in and I'd like him to learn about diversity from a young age.

    Your child won't have difficulty fitting in because of this, yes other kids in their class WILL be getting their communion but even in rural country schools there are little muslim etc boys and girls opting out of those things...

    And in fairness being different isn't always a bad thing, bear in mind you'll one day say "...and if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you do that too"


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    #6
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,642 ✭✭✭Milly33


    That is a very interesting question I never thought of that. We would be the same, would not be religious but are Catholics. Planning to have a civil ceremony and well if we did have kids now I cant say I believe in the christening aspect in such but I think I would like to have them christened in some way, so good question and thanks for the answers too..

    I often wonder why people kinda say or it seems to come across that civil is not legal, is it not? Maybe me being dim I thought it was the same it was just it was not religious


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    #7
    stinkle
    Registered Users Posts: 1,159 ✭✭✭stinkle


    Milly33 wrote: »
    That is a very interesting question I never thought of that. We would be the same, would not be religious but are Catholics. Planning to have a civil ceremony and well if we did have kids now I cant say I believe in the christening aspect in such but I think I would like to have them christened in some way, so good question and thanks for the answers too..

    I often wonder why people kinda say or it seems to come across that civil is not legal, is it not? Maybe me being dim I thought it was the same it was just it was not religious
    it is legal. And its allowed to baptise kids even if you don't have a catholic marriage ceremony.


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    #8
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,642 ✭✭✭Milly33


    Culio thank you Stinkle, yeah just the way some people refeer to it, it comes across that it isn't.. Theres another one when Gay marriage came in here a few years ago and you could get married - was that not legal, and now the new system is it legal?


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    #9
    stinkle
    Registered Users Posts: 1,159 ✭✭✭stinkle


    Milly33 wrote: »
    Culio thank you Stinkle, yeah just the way some people refeer to it, it comes across that it isn't.. Theres another one when Gay marriage came in here a few years ago and you could get married - was that not legal, and now the new system is it legal?
    it isn't marriage its civil partnership. The referendum next year is to give gay couples equal status as hetero marriage.

    Not sure why non-catholic marriage would be seen as not legal, though I know when a relative had a civil marriage my granny was disgusted it wasn't in a church and was performed by a female registrar and was said to have commented that it wasn't a real wedding. She was just narrow minded though! And wrong!


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    #10
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,642 ✭✭✭Milly33


    haha a sham wedding then was it!! Only messing I heard the same thing a few times..

    Oh I see, I was wondering when I heard them say it that they were going to do it again I was like why..Jes terrible they make it so difficult for everyone or well the gay community. Thanks for the ans


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    #11
    LUZ
    Registered Users Posts: 146 ✭✭LUZ


    i got married in a church, even though im not catholic or christened... my son hasnt been baptised, he goes to a church of ireland school which we chose because it was small and friendly, there are 8 kids in his class. we had no problems getting him in and no hassle to attend church etc, he gets normal religion classes at school, not over the top catholic down his throat... we had thought about the educate together schools but there isnt one nearby so this is the best option for us, id say when the time comes go and visit the schools and see which one suits you best , i dont think theyre allowed to pick and choose kids with religions these days. maybe have a look in the parenting forums.


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    #12
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    Any school with a religious patron and ethos is legally entitled to discriminate on religious grounds in school enrollment policies. All schools in Ireland set their own enrollment policies.


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    #13
    MadDog76
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,162 ✭✭✭MadDog76


    lazygal wrote: »
    Any school with a religious patron and ethos is legally entitled to discriminate on religious grounds in school enrollment policies. All schools in Ireland set their own enrollment policies.

    Sure why wouldn't they have that right??

    Obviously a Catholic/Protestant/Islamic/Jewish/Atheist or whatever school would have, need and want the right to favour families with similar beliefs to their own


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