Work Relationship Issues - I'm Confused

LegacyUser

I'm after making a right mess of a relationship I was (am?) involved in, with a guy I work with and I don't know what to do.

A few background details: I'm in college and work part time, I'm in my early 20's and so is he. We've worked together for about 2 years and were extremely good friends for 18 months before anything happened.

We started seeing each other at Christmas, it started out as drunken moments on staff nights out but became something more after a while, though it wasn't serious. A big issue from the start was that he was extremely shy around me when he was sober but that's just his personality and I tried to get past it, even though it was hard having him be so loving and affectionate and say the loveliest things when he was after drinking, only for him to some times struggle to speak to me when sober.

I also find it very hard to talk about my feelings which was an issue for him. He would have no problem articulating his feelings for me in every way, but I struggled to respond even though I felt the same, and it upset him. He said I was cold and unaffectionate and that he could never tell how I felt about him but we worked through the issues.

He was involved in an unfortunate accident in March which took him out of work for a while, and things just kind of fizzled out. However, we had previously booked a group holiday with our work colleagues for July so I was nervous about going together when things had ended so abruptly. 10 of us went in total, I shared an apartment with the girls, he with the lads, so it wasn't going to be overly "couple-ish" anyway.

The holiday went amazingly, we rekindled our relationship and he promised me the world. We spent the whole holiday together and I really thought it was going somewhere. Alarm bells started ringing when he could barely speak to me on our last night because he wasn't drinking but I tried to ignore it. But he promised to take me on a proper date when we got home and to do things properly this time.

When we got home, we had a work bbq where no alcohol was served and he once again promised to take me on a date and spent the whole night telling our colleagues how strong his feelings for me are. That was 2 weeks ago.

After that, things got weird. I asked him to meet up twice and he said no. I haven't heard from him at all other than that. No texts, phonecalls, facebooks, snapchats, nothing. The rejection upset me because he had been the one chasing me, it had always been him that wanted me more than him. A group of work colleagues went out this week and I kissed a guy from our department that I've worked with for 5 years, who is a great friend to me. No awkwardness between us because it was just a drunken mistake and there are no feelings involved, but everyone saw and now it'll be the talk of the department.

I got home and felt so guilty that I sent a long emotional message to my guy, telling him how much I care and how much I miss him. I have never articulated my feelings for him as elaborately as I did that night, so it was a huge step for me. He has seen the message (iMessage) and hasn't responded. I'm almost certain he has heard about my kiss with my other colleague, which I know was wrong, but I feel like if he hadn't sent me such mixed signals I would have been more clear on what was going on between us.

I feel really upset and don't know what to do. Tomorrow is his first day back at work since his accident in March and I have no idea how I'm supposed to act. Do I act normal, friendly, or will I be making a fool of myself? Do I ignore him or will I look childish? There is no way I can avoid him. Add to this that it'll be my first time seeing my other colleague since our kiss and I'm just completely dreading it. I don't know how I'm going to face it.

So how should I approach him tomorrow after he has so spectacularly made a fool of me? I have such strong feelings for him and I thought he felt the same after all he said to me the last couple of weeks. I don't know how I'm going to work with him. TIA.

ABajaninCork

You don't. Leave him alone. He doesn't seem to want a relationship with you at the moment, sadly...

Be polite and professional, only talking to him if he speaks to you first. And in future? DON'T get your honey where you get your money - It's unprofessional!

Rubberchikken

What kind of future would you imagine with a guy who can't soeak to you unless he's drunk?
And this is after working with him and being friendly with him for a good while.

And you're repeating your mistakes if you start up with this other workmate.
Try to find someone you don't work with.