Starting later

LegacyUser

I am a 30 yo male. I have had zero sexual experience in my life, I have never held hands/kissed/dated/etc..
I have talked to girls I like, but never goes anywhere at all. Tried to ask a girl out two years ago, she literally giggled and make her excuses. I am old at this point and have literally zero clue what to do to go about meeting a girl I actually fancy - have I missed the boat sex and girls wise? by the way I'm not gay.
Never been unemployed, basic college diploma, live with parents, work in accounts in a country area. Really find going out and social things pretty uncomfortable. Have about 2 friends that are local, anyone else I am friends with is abroad. Looks wise, I suppose I am fairly normal, not overweight, starting to lose some hair. Almost wish I had some horrible scar at least then there would be an excuse, but no I am fairly normal.

I know I could probably go to a club some night and end up kissing some girl that was drunk, but id rather fancy a girl, put the effort in and get a kiss. It's sad that at my age getting a kiss is a still a goal.

Just want to know, any advice? Is my lack of experience going to be a major turn off going forward?

LegacyUser

going unreg for this as its a topic fairly close to home for me.

I'm female by the way. I never had a boyfriend until I was 29. I went through school, college, all of my 20's as 'the single one'
I used to pretend that there was 'someone on the scene' but in reality I never had anyone. There were a few random scores / kisses in nightclubs with drink involved. But never a relationship. I had two one night stands in my life, and they made me feel horrible, so I didnt do that anymore. Sexual experience was zero. I put it all down to upbringing, and controlling parents. BUt really I dont know why I never had a boyfriend , I just didnt.

Anyhow. when I was 29 I moved into a place on my own. I was very lonely, although I always had lots of friends. I decided to accept every invitation for nights out, just to get out of the house.
One Thursday evening I went for a drink with a bunch I didnt know very well. I met a guy, we were chatting and he asked me out on a date. I expected nothing to come of it. But we did go out on that date (it was my first ever proper date!) , and it was fun. I ended up going out with this guy for a year! Not because I really liked him, more so because he was the only one who seemed to like me (not a great reason I know, but we live and learn).
While I was going out with him, my perspective on dating totally changed. Guys were actually hitting on me! I of course didn't act on it, but I learned a lot about how the dating scene worked. I could see single friends of mine, and why they were still single. They were not enjoying the dating scene, they were on a HUNT. They were literally hunting in packs!! It was never going to work. I learned the best way to approach people is to be engaging, friendly , interested. Not talking to someone while weighing them up, and glancing over their shoulder to see if something better turns up. You need to go out and firstly enjoy yourself, that way you will attract people who are fun and friendly. Also, dont judge people.

When I became single after a year, I went out and had so much fun. I chatted to lots of guys, who as a result asked me out. Went out on dates , some good some bad.
I didnt judge expect anything before hand. I went on dates with guys who made me feel good, were goo fun, and nice to me, and not guys who I thought were potential husbands. .And lucky I didn't because if I did I for sure would not have gone on a date with my now husband if I was operating a criteria. We met, and my initial impression was totally different to the guy he is, but I decided I'd accept his offer of a date, and lo and behold he swept me away, 10 years later I'm still madly in love :-)

My advice to you, would be to go out, chat to lots of girls, engage with them. And ASK the nice ones out on a date!!! Girls LOVE being asked out on dates. Honestly, if you ASK they will accept. Go on dates. If nothing comes of it, whats the harm, nothing ventured nothing gained.
Trying to form relationships from a 'snog' in a nightclub, and a follow up text of 'how r u?' is NOT the way forward.
Ask her out, get to know her, and see if YOU would like to bring it further. She would be a lucky girl if you do!!
You are so young, there is such a shortage of nice men in there 30's , you will have your pick of the bunch. Just treat them right!!

minalaury

I'd recommend trying online dating. Ok cupid is good for matching people who are similar you ie someone able to relate to and find endearing your shyness.