Gambling addict.

Degen

First of all apologies to the mods, I've just registered an alias to post this thread which I understand is against boards rules however posting as an unregistered user does not appear to be an option on the touch site.

So, as per the thread title I've come to the miserable realisation that I'm a gambling addict. It's not like it came as a sudden surprise but today I finally broke down and admitted to myself, my friends and my family that I have a serious problem.

I started gambling about 7 years ago and has time has passed it's consumed more and more of my time and finances. It started out as an occasional bet and now takes up most of my tree time.

I forego necessities such as food and bills just to fund my habit. To make matters worse I've recently stolen a significant sum of money from friends. Not that it really makes much difference but I didn't go into their wallets or bank accounts and take it, I was entrusted with the money and dipped into it to gamble with. Having lost the initial amount I dipped in again chasing my losses until it was all gone.

When I think back over the last seven years I can see now that my gambling has either been a direct cause of or a large contributing factor to most of the problems I've had. There's been many. Broken relationships, never ending financial difficulties and now I've lost my home and possibly some good friends.

Thankfully I'll be in a position to repay the money within the next two weeks.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to regain the trust of my friends and family. I can't even begin to count the number of lies I've told over the past 7 years to keep all of this a secret.

What I'm looking for is some help and advice. Now that all the tears are over and done with and the truth is out, how do I begin to repair the damage, fix the problems and beat the addiction. The only dedicated service I know of is Gamblers Anonymous, I've yet to make contact with them. Has anybody any experience or knowledge of them? Does anybody know if they have a religious affiliation and if so is there any alternatives?

Snake

Degen wrote: »

First of all apologies to the mods, I've just registered an alias to post this thread which I understand is against boards rules however posting as an unregistered user does not appear to be an option on the touch site.

So, as per the thread title I've come to the miserable realisation that I'm a gambling addict. It's not like it came as a sudden surprise but today I finally broke down and admitted to myself, my friends and my family that I have a serious problem.

I started gambling about 7 years ago and has time has passed it's consumed more and more of my time and finances. It started out as an occasional bet and now takes up most of my tree time.

I forego necessities such as food and bills just to fund my habit. To make matters worse I've recently stolen a significant sum of money from friends. Not that it really makes much difference but I didn't go into their wallets or bank accounts and take it, I was entrusted with the money and dipped into it to gamble with. Having lost the initial amount I dipped in again chasing my losses until it was all gone.

When I think back over the last seven years I can see now that my gambling has either been a direct cause of or a large contributing factor to most of the problems I've had. There's been many. Broken relationships, never ending financial difficulties and now I've lost my home and possibly some good friends.

Thankfully I'll be in a position to repay the money within the next two weeks.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to regain the trust of my friends and family. I can't even begin to count the number of lies I've told over the past 7 years to keep all of this a secret.

What I'm looking for is some help and advice. Now that all the tears are over and done with and the truth is out, how do I begin to repair the damage, fix the problems and beat the addiction. The only dedicated service I know of is Gamblers Anonymous, I've yet to make contact with them. Has anybody any experience or knowledge of them? Does anybody know if they have a religious affiliation and if so is there any alternatives?

They work. My mother went with them 8 years ago never so much as touched a scratch card since. I wish you the best, I'm sorry I can't offer advice, but go check into rehab and you'll best this in a few weeks.

prettyinpink

Hi first off I'd suggest you self exclude yourself from any online acc you have or bookies you bet at. Second you can contact gamble aware http://www.gambleaware.ie/ they've a phoneline or http://www.cuanmhuire.ie/ they've treatment centres for Gambling addictions too. I hope this helps.

Degen

The self exclusion is top of my to do list for tomorrow. I'd do it now from my phone but I want to access the accounts from my laptop just to get a total figure of what I've lost over the years. I don't expect it to be pretty but I think it might help me in the future to have a reminder of what I've lost financially.

prettyinpink

Degen wrote: »

The self exclusion is top of my to do list for tomorrow. I'd do it now from my phone but I want to access the accounts from my laptop just to get a total figure of what I've lost over the years. I don't expect it to be pretty but I think it might help me in the future to have a reminder of what I've lost financially.

You can also self exclude from shops. which might be another idea so you don't get tempted. It'd be worth even contacting http://www.gamblersanonymous.ie/ tomorrow too.

Degen

I'm going to give them a call anyway and see what they're about. I've just heard stories of these things being overly religious. If it is I'll just end up dismissing it immediately. That's mostly why I was looking for an alternative.

Any idea if you can self exclude from an entire chain of shops or just individual stores? Visiting them all could take me a week.

prettyinpink

Degen wrote: »

I'm going to give them a call anyway and see what they're about. I've just heard stories of these things being overly religious. If it is I'll just end up dismissing it immediately. That's mostly why I was looking for an alternative.

Any idea if you can self exclude from an entire chain of shops or just individual stores? Visiting them all could take me a week.

Entire chain. they'll have you fill out a form & take a picture. It happens far more then you think. Even on their websites they've gamble responsibly option click on it and they'll have more options of places you can contact.

Degen

Sweet. Telling my family and friends about it was difficult enough without having to traipse around to every local shop and explain myself to strangers.

prettyinpink

Degen wrote: »

Sweet. Telling my family and friends about it was difficult enough without having to traipse around to every local shop and explain myself to strangers.

I work in a bookies myself, everything is handled with discretion. best of luck

ivytwine

I work on the online side, I promise you that my company take it pretty seriously.

It will take literally two minutes to shut down your online acc permanently. We use Gamcare, who are UK based, but the advice should be relevant. http://www.gamcare.org.uk/

All the best my friend, it's a horrible addiction.

Kablamo!

prettyinpink wrote: »

Entire chain. they'll have you fill out a form & take a picture. It happens far more then you think. Even on their websites they've gamble responsibly option click on it and they'll have more options of places you can contact.

Bring in a passport picture with you if you have one.

Magicmatilda

It is not a religious programme but it is a spiritual programme. It is about believing in a power greater than yourself - this encourages humility, if you think you are the most powerful thing in the world then you will not have the humility to accept the help you need.

There will be a mention of God - because for a lot of people in our society that is what they relate to. It could however be the power of the group, or just you own internal instinct (the good angel on your shoulder)

I recommend you go along, try to ignore the God stuff and relate to the stories you hear.

convert

First off, I want to congratulate you on firstly, recognising that you had a problem, and secondly being brave enough to tell family and friends. That's a massive step and shows that you're really serious about wanting to get on the road to recovery.

Unfortunately I don't have much advice to offer you, but there was a thread in the horse racing forum a while back which dealt with the problem of gambling addiction, and there's a really good post by a user outlining their experiences.

I'm posting the link below (mods, if this isn't allowed, then feel free to remove it): http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=82674584

It's amazing, just from reading that thread, how many people are and have been in the same position as you, and it shows that it is possible to stop and get your life back.

Best of luck.

Degen

I'm in work at the moment and don't have much time to reply. Just wanted to say a quick thank you for the advice and encouragement and I'll reply in a bit more detail tonight.

Queen-Mise

Degen wrote: »

I'm in work at the moment and don't have much time to reply. Just wanted to say a quick thank you for the advice and encouragement and I'll reply in a bit more detail tonight.

Put the hand out for help - there is tons of it out there.

I would highly recommend Gamblers Anonymous - go to a few meetings and see what you think.

You will understand the distinction the poster said above pretty quickly when you go to a meeting or talk to some members of GA.

LegacyUser

I know it is not easy to admit you have a problem in regards to gambling.
I would follow the advice you have been given here and get yourself bared from the bookies office and internet gambling.

Some people can gamble and know when to stop but for others it is only a matter of time before they get the big win.
Long term you need to consider how much better your life would be without gambling and without the lies you have told to family and friends.

It may not be easy to make the changes you need but long term you will have a better life without gambling.

Degen

So it's been a bit of a long day with work and ťrying to sort out some of this mess. I've not had the time to contact any kind of support group but I think the first thing I'm going to try is hypnotherapy. Aside from the religious aspect of GA that I'll find off putting I'm quite a private person and the thought of sitting in a group of strangers explaining myself is a bit too far outside my comfort zone. I'm blessed to have some incredibly good friends that now this is out in the open I can talk to and rely on to help me. I've not completely ruled out the GA route but gonna give this a try first. Also signed up to an online support group with a hotline but not had the time to participate or get in touch. Work was great, it was a great way to keep my mind off things. The time before and after not so much. The temptation was obviously there but made it through the day. Its a start.

Degen

It's been a little over a week since my meltdown and I'm happy to report that so far things are going well. I was pretty busy with work for the first 5 or 6 days which helped keep my mind off things. I think it was good for me to have that bit of time to contemplate things and plan my next steps.

All the online accounts are now closed and the only time I've been into a bookies was to self exclude. Brought a good friend with me, more for verification purposes than as a deterrent. Anyway, it was a mostly painless process.

I only went to the big three as they were really the only shops I ever used.Two of them were extremely helpful and I had a lifetime exclusion in place in minutes. The third one, not so much. I've been to two of their outlets so far and I'm still not excluded. Went into the first one and asked for the forms, the shop assistant stuttered for a few seconds until I jokingly asked "what's wrong, are you not supposed to hand them out to customers?" to which he shockingly replied yes. I couldn't believe he'd said it. Anyway he then said he didn't know where they were and would take him ages to find so could I call back in a few hours when the shop was quieter. There were only two customers there. I then went to a second branch and asked for the same. This time the first response to my question was that I should take the forms with me and think about it for twenty four hours. I insisted on filling them in there and then but had more roadblocks put in front of me. Firstly they can only ban you from three stores and not the entire chain. Secondly if you want your online account closed you need to know your account number which the staff claim they can't find using your username and lastly they offer a maximum exclusion period of five years. The others offer lifetime, chain wide exclusions and will happily close your online account using just your username. So, it appears to me that one of the three major gambling retailers in the country will actively try and dissuade a problem gambler from self excluding. I'm going to try a third branch tomorrow to see if I meet the same resistance. If I do I'll see if I can take the matter to whoever the regulator is. They should be named and shamed if this is an active company wide policy.

ivytwine

Degen wrote: »

It's been a little over a week since my meltdown and I'm happy to report that so far things are going well. I was pretty busy with work for the first 5 or 6 days which helped keep my mind off things. I think it was good for me to have that bit of time to contemplate things and plan my next steps.

All the online accounts are now closed and the only time I've been into a bookies was to self exclude. Brought a good friend with me, more for verification purposes than as a deterrent. Anyway, it was a mostly painless process.

I only went to the big three as they were really the only shops I ever used.Two of them were extremely helpful and I had a lifetime exclusion in place in minutes. The third one, not so much. I've been to two of their outlets so far and I'm still not excluded. Went into the first one and asked for the forms, the shop assistant stuttered for a few seconds until I jokingly asked "what's wrong, are you not supposed to hand them out to customers?" to which he shockingly replied yes. I couldn't believe he'd said it. Anyway he then said he didn't know where they were and would take him ages to find so could I call back in a few hours when the shop was quieter. There were only two customers there. I then went to a second branch and asked for the same. This time the first response to my question was that I should take the forms with me and think about it for twenty four hours. I insisted on filling them in there and then but had more roadblocks put in front of me. Firstly they can only ban you from three stores and not the entire chain. Secondly if you want your online account closed you need to know your account number which the staff claim they can't find using your username and lastly they offer a maximum exclusion period of five years. The others offer lifetime, chain wide exclusions and will happily close your online account using just your username. So, it appears to me that one of the three major gambling retailers in the country will actively try and dissuade a problem gambler from self excluding. I'm going to try a third branch tomorrow to see if I meet the same resistance. If I do I'll see if I can take the matter to whoever the regulator is. They should be named and shamed if this is an active company wide policy.

I am so sorry to hear that and quite frankly shocked. I will say that, having worked both in the shop and online, what they say about closing your online account is true I am afraid. The shop staff and online division in my company at least are completely separate. While staff can deposit and withdraw using the online facility, they have no access to your information and cannot close your account. Basically all they see is a window that says "Deposit €x" and that's it.

I was only a junior cashier so I never had to perform shop exclusions but not having the forms was a disgrace- I would imagine there would probably be a file that they could print them out from if they were stuck. The 24 hr waiting period shocked me. That's disgraceful in the industry and they definitely deserved to be named and shamed.

Most aren't regulated in Ireland- PP in Isle of Man, Boylesports in Isle of Man, and Ladbrokes in Gibraltar. If you feel that there needs to be improvement in Irish law, I'd advise you to contact your local TD.

Degen

I closed the online account myself using their email support. Sent them a message one evening and the account was closed within 12hrs, or at least restricted for 5 years. I'm going to try a third store tomorrow before I do anything but it does seem a little coincidental that staff in two stores have tried to discourage me and then add to that the process is a little more difficult than the others.

louisenf2014

The GLAI are the closest thing to regulators but as there is a grey area in the legislation of gaming in Ireland it's different to betting shops(Bill was due to be passed in 2016 but since the changes in the Dept of Justice it's unlikely it will be handled for a lot longer now)

There is a form on their website GLAI if you go to the responsible gaming section. I can't post the link as I don't have enough posts on boards but I assume if you print it out and fill it in it's acceptable anywhere, worth a try

I would absolutely make a complaint if I were you, I work in a different aspect of this industry and I have never heard of any outlet not taking the Self-Exclusion code seriously

Degen

louisenf2014 wrote: »

The GLAI are the closest thing to regulators but as there is a grey area in the legislation of gaming in Ireland it's different to betting shops(Bill was due to be passed in 2016 but since the changes in the Dept of Justice it's unlikely it will be handled for a lot longer now)

There is a form on their website GLAI if you go to the responsible gaming section. I can't post the link as I don't have enough posts on boards but I assume if you print it out and fill it in it's acceptable anywhere, worth a try

I would absolutely make a complaint if I were you, I work in a different aspect of this industry and I have never heard of any outlet not taking the Self-Exclusion code seriously

I just had a look at that website and it appears to be mostly for casinos. The other problem is that it's a trade association and not a regulator as such. Vested interests and whatnot.

SIX PACK

If 1 is going to gamble self exclusion won't work permanently. you need Will power also.
I don't know any bookie who refuses Money
It's gonna be harder for you now too with Premier League back on And Rugby Season starting back those Accumulators are very tempting !

Degen

SIX PACK wrote: »

If 1 is going to gamble self exclusion won't work permanently. you need Will power also.
I don't know any bookie who refuses Money
It's gonna be harder for you now too with Premier League back on And Rugby Season starting back those Accumulators are very tempting !

Well that's an incredibly helpful and supportive post. FYI I have no interest in the Premier League and although I love Rugby I've never gambled on it. Horses are the only thing I gambled on. Also, accumulators were never tempting. I'm also more than aware of the fact that I'll need more than self exclusion but I also think it will be of great assistance. The fact that one of the biggest names in the industry appears to discourage the act whilst claiming to promote a responsible gaming policy is worrying and should be brought to light to a wider audience. Now, anything useful to contribute?