Wedding dress fiasco

Dodo bear

I went wedding dress shopping for weeks and finally found my dream dress. It is all ordered and my mam gets a thank you card from my cousin for her wedding gift and who is on the front of the card only my 1st cousin in MY wedding dress. My mam went shopping with me and she never remembered that my cousin wore the exact dress i chose!! I dont know what to do. Do i need to start all over again??

Explosive_Cornflake

No, your mother didn't remember, no else will.

Dolbert

Is it a very unusual/recognisable style? If not, there are probably some modifications or embellishments that could be made to change the look, i.e. addition of capped sleeves, a belt etc.? I wouldn't go buying a new dress if you're happy with it!

Dodo bear

Thanks for reply. Yes thats why im so upset. It is pretty unusual. It isnt a dress that can have any additions to it like a belt etc. It has mesh and beading and has a cap sleeve. Alot of relations would have been at this cousins wedding. Just becuse my mother didnt remember doesnt mean others wont.

meeeeh

Is there a chance that people would be making comparisons between you two? If dress would suit one of you much better there are so many different ways this could go wrong. People thinking that you wanted to upstage your cousin or people thinking that you saw photos and wanted to copy your cousin and so on... I wouldn't risk it. I think there are to many possibilities for drama if you are inviting same people as were present at her wedding.

Dodo bear

To be honest i never even thought of some of those things. However they would not be the case. My wider family would never think that and i myself would never choose a dress to upstage anyone. I just would never have picked a dress if i thought someone else i knew wore it. The thoughts of going through the whole process again after i picked a dress i really loved. I just dont want some aunts and cousins saying is that the same dress!

Miaireland

Would you consider getting a dress made that is similiar to the dress that you bought. Maybe different kind of material, different embellishement etc.

dudara

Moved to the Weddings forum

dudara

GalwayGirl26

Oh wow, what were the chances?!
Well if you really love this dress, if it's ''The One'', then you should stick with it- It would be horrible to settle for another dress just because your cousin happened to have it too. I would, however, let your cousin or aunt know what happened just so they don't find out on the day itself and start talking about it behind your back.
If you think you could find another dress you love just as much, then call the shop and ask can you book another appointment and try on more similar dresses just to keep all your options open and perhaps you can transfer the payment to a new dress?

History Queen

I just had to post when I saw this. The same thing happemed me except it was my fiances cousin whose dress I nearly ordered! And I was at her wedding!

Something was niggling me about the dress so I showed a pic of it to my future sister in law who spotted it! Thank god!

I felt that even if no one else noticed id feel uncomfortable on the day and would feel like I was wearing someone elses dress to my wedding. I explained what happened to the shop and they were brilliant. Cancelled order and made an appointment for me to try on other dresses by same designer that had just come in. Found another dress and am honestly much happier.

Hope you get sorted whatever you decide but make sure you do what you feel comfortable with

Arbiter of Good Taste

You say that the dress can't be changed, but speak to the shop. The sales assistants will know if something can be done. When I got my dress, the shop was able to get them to make it for me in champagne rather than ivory, which is what the dress normally came in.

ABajaninCork

You could :

Get a different colour
Different accessories
Change the colour of your bouquet - different accent colours, maybe
Maybe a statement necklace/choker?
Different veil - length/fabric - even birdcage with a little bowler hat or a top hat.
Different hairstyle?

There's all sorts of things you can do to personalise your dress. Unless it's couture, then I'm afraid it is possible to choose the same dress as someone else! Don't panic...Most guests won't even remember anyway!!

I honestly don't see what the big deal is - it may be the same dress but you are a totally different person and how you carry it off will be different. I wouldn't call it a "Fiasco" either, it borders on the bridezilla.


As other posters have said, you can adjust it to suit you, I wouldn't be getting in a tizzy over it, I wouldn't be worrying about what the guests think, I doubt the majority of them will notice. When you are standing there with lovely hair/ makeup looking radiant and happy that's what they will remember - how beautiful you looked, not the dress you wore

I totally get your problem. It happened my sister. Herself and a workmate were getting married the same year (April and July). All workmates were invited. There the bride comes down the aisle in little sisters wedding dress! She had it at home in her wardrobe and shop refused to take it back! As all workmates were coming to my sisters wedding too, she just couldn't turn up in same dress. She went to a local dressmaker, who put a lace overskirt on skirt part. It did the job. However, yours may not be so easily altered. Take it to a reuptable alterations shop and get their advice.
Firstly, though, I'd go to the shop, with the photo and explain situation and appeal to their better nature! Our fiasco happened back in the 80's and things were different. It wasn't unusual for sisters to wear the same dress, but to be seen in the same one as a workmate would have been unthinkable!

stargazer 68

I posted in Feb (I think) about the exact same subject. My sisters dress was identical to the one my cousin wore at her wedding - we had never noticed. However, my cousins husband passed away last year and she and her parents were coming to the wedding. There was no way my sister was going to wear the dress.

We traipsed the shops looking for something else but eventually went back to where she got the dress. The shop were brilliant. Basically they started all over again and got her a new dress - she obviously had to pay more for it but not the full price. Believe me it was worth it.

Go and speak to the shop and see what they say. Its not about other people remembering the dress - its about whether on the morning of the wedding you will be comfortable putting it on and it will still be 'the one'.