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early stages of relationship and boyfriend is a bit full on

  • 11-08-2014 2:08pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    ok so I met my boyfriend a couple of months ago on a night out. we got along great and kissed at the end of the night. We became official about a month ago but the problem is I think he sees this relationship for keeps and I don't think if I'm as invested as he is. Probably irrelevant but just in case anyone asks I'm 19 and he is 18. This is my first relationship and I don't think he's had anything serious before either. Physically, I am attracted to him and him to me and the kissing is great. But he's a bit full on. Like I said we are only going out a month(not even) and I feel like he's way more invested in the relationship than I am. I am going to college this year and he wants to go to college in the same area that I will go and he even suggested moving in together!! I'm not even sure what I'm asking tbh, I'm not sure what I want. I mean, I have no idea if this is going to be a long term thing but I know that he definitely thinks it will be and it's jus a bit too intense for me cos we are in the early stages. I'm not sure what to do because I have no other relationship to compare this with. I know I'm young and I'd always imagined I would play the field a bit before I settled down but with all the moving in together talk I think my boyfriend sees this relationship as for keeps whereas I'm definitely not on bus wavelength with moving in together. I suppose I should add we don't see each other as often as we like so we have a long distance relationship and live quite a bit away from each other so we can go for weeks without seeing each other and just communicate with texts,etc..


Comments

  • #2
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Long distance relationships don't always work out. Some do some don't. Texting relationships are different to when you see someone often though. Spend more time together to see if you think you have a future with him. The more you get to know them you likely to know how it might go. You need to give yourself a few weeks-months to really know but even after a year you might think you know someone but you don't really. Can take a few weeks-months to become official.

    Tell him where ye both stand in the relationship and let him know. If ye like each other to keep it going short term by all means do but what do you both want? If not on the same page best to move on. If things are going well just let it run its course but if you don't see a future with him I say end it before it gets too deep. If he very full on and your not keen suggest he cool things down a bit.

    Is it that he is taking it more seriously than you are? You both very young yet and well at that age not many would have had serious relationships. Let him know how you feel about the relationship you can both decide where to take it from there. Talk it out. You feel better for it. Where do you see yourself with him now compared to where you see yourself with him in the future?


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