No luck at all and feeling lonely

MrNoLuck

I feel like no girl liked me, I'm considered nice, kind, caring, thoughtful and I have a sense of humour and yet in the past few months I haven't had any success with the girls I've dated and haven't had a relationship in two years.

A few of the girls I dated didn't like my height as I'm short, around 5'7ft, but others who claimed to like my height and claimed they weren't into looks, wouldn't even give me a chance, I met all of these girls online and am beginning to think girls online do not know what they are looking for, but then in person I find it hard to meet girls, say for example pubs/clubs most girls are wearing heels and tell me I need to be taller then they are in heels.

I recently really clicked with a girl online and dated her once, everything went great and I asked her on a second date, I then went to call her one night an she told me not to and I was ok with that, but then she took me up the wrong way and accused me of thinking she was lying about her reason for not letting me call, I never once thought she was lying and she told me there and then that she didn't want to ever talk to me again and blocked me on everything...

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, or what is so wrong with me that make girls only give me one or two dates or say yes to a date and then cancel it before it happens... Any advice at all would be most welcome? Because I'm happy with myself and have good friends, but I guess I would just like someone to cuddle up to and go out places and away on holidays with.. Perhaps someone I'll never find..

Chance The Rapper

Relax first off. There's millions of women out there. I would recommend getting more comfortable in your own skin first. Women are attracted to confidence and security. Hang out with your friends and focus on enjoying life rather than getting a girl. Pursue your interests and join a club or two, they are great places to meet women, as you can convey your awesome personality before they shoot you down for something as insignificant as your height

knucklehead6

MrNoLuck wrote: »

I feel like no girl liked me, I'm considered nice, kind, caring, thoughtful and I have a sense of humour and yet in the past few months I haven't had any success with the girls I've dated and haven't had a relationship in two years.

A few of the girls I dated didn't like my height as I'm short, around 5'7ft, but others who claimed to like my height and claimed they weren't into looks, wouldn't even give me a chance, I met all of these girls online and am beginning to think girls online do not know what they are looking for, but then in person I find it hard to meet girls, say for example pubs/clubs most girls are wearing heels and tell me I need to be taller then they are in heels.

I recently really clicked with a girl online and dated her once, everything went great and I asked her on a second date, I then went to call her one night an she told me not to and I was ok with that, but then she took me up the wrong way and accused me of thinking she was lying about her reason for not letting me call, I never once thought she was lying and she told me there and then that she didn't want to ever talk to me again and blocked me on everything...

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, or what is so wrong with me that make girls only give me one or two dates or say yes to a date and then cancel it before it happens... Any advice at all would be most welcome? Because I'm happy with myself and have good friends, but I guess I would just like someone to cuddle up to and go out places and away on holidays with.. Perhaps someone I'll never find..

This could come across as really hard and horrible, and that is NOT my intention, but your post reminds me of someone who has what I call Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome.

Mr. Nice Guy can't understand why all the lovely girls go out with guys who aren't as respectful to them as him, don't treat them as well as he would, are out every night with the lads instead of in with the girlfriend, and so on and so forth.
Mr. Nice Guy is well regarded in his community, and respects his elders. Mr. Nice Guy is also relatively successful academically and professionally.
Mr. Nice Guy feels that the world owes him something, because he's a nice guy, and karma and all that....

Unfortunately, until you get over the Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome you are going to be caught in this vicious circle. And I'm not saying that it's a "Treat 'em Mean, Keep 'em Keen" type of thing, but don't put women up on a pedestal. treat them as people. It works out a LOT better for you.

rgds

KH6 (former sufferer of Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome)

eeeee

knucklehead6 wrote: »

This could come across as really hard and horrible, and that is NOT my intention, but your post reminds me of someone who has what I call Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome.

Mr. Nice Guy can't understand why all the lovely girls go out with guys who aren't as respectful to them as him, don't treat them as well as he would, are out every night with the lads instead of in with the girlfriend, and so on and so forth.
Mr. Nice Guy is well regarded in his community, and respects his elders. Mr. Nice Guy is also relatively successful academically and professionally.
Mr. Nice Guy feels that the world owes him something, because he's a nice guy, and karma and all that....

Unfortunately, until you get over the Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome you are going to be caught in this vicious circle. And I'm not saying that it's a "Treat 'em Mean, Keep 'em Keen" type of thing, but don't put women up on a pedestal. treat them as people. It works out a LOT better for you.

rgds

KH6 (former sufferer of Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome)

That is pure and utter bullshyte. As a woman the nice guy ALWAYS finishes first, as he does with any other happy, confident, well adjusted woman. Sure a girl with issues or who doesn't know any better or who wants to be treated like crap will hanker after the 'bad boy' but do you want that?
This 'nice guy finishes last' stuff is absolute crap. If you want a relationship you're the perfect type of guy for it.
Spend time on yourself, making yourself happy from the inside out, then see what happens. I agree that women shouldn't be put up on a pedestal, that's not healthy either. But nice guys are by far and away the most attractive prospect imo. Good luck op.

knucklehead6

gadetra wrote: »

That is pure and utter bullshyte. As a woman the nice guy ALWAYS finishes first, as he does with any other happy, confident, well adjusted woman. Sure a girl with issues or who doesn't know any better or who wants to be treated like crap will hanker after the 'bad boy' but do you want that?
This 'nice guy finishes last' stuff is absolute crap. If you want a relationship you're the perfect type of guy for it.
Spend time on yourself, making yourself happy from the inside out, then see what happens. I agree that women shouldn't be put up on a pedestal, that's not healthy either. But nice guys are by far and away the most attractive prospect imo. Good luck op.

I don't think you understand what I meant. It's not whether the OP IS a nice guy, it's the whole "I'm owed something by the world purely BECAUSE I'm a nice guy" attitude.

I never said the nice guy finishes last.

eeeee

knucklehead6 wrote: »

I don't think you understand what I meant. It's not whether the OP IS a nice guy, it's the whole "I'm owed something by the world purely BECAUSE I'm a nice guy" attitude.

I never said the nice guy finishes last.

Misunderstanding by me sorry, it was the from a former nice guy bit at the end that got my blood up!
Anyone thinking the world owes them one isn't a nice guy/gal attitude though.
Anyway OT sorry OP.

louisenf2014

Hey OP.

I'm a relatively nice person and this isn't something I am proud of, however I think it will make you feel better. I floated on and off dating sites for a while, while also being completely and utterly infatuated with a guy who was never going to commit to me. I meant no harm to anyone and completely believed that I was trying to move on. However, I was feeding off the attention and flattery from the guys on the site and using it as a distraction during his cold periods. I went on dates, played the games, even hit it off with some guys. Then when Mr. I can't commit sensed I was moving on, he'd reel me back in and I would immediately go completely cold on the guys I had been chatting to and dated. I'm not saying this is what happened in your situ, however, I think people use internet sites to try move on, to see what else is out-there, when they have broken up from someone 4 days ago, when they really don't know what they want etc. It's not just single available girls and it's not just single available guys. You just don't know what's going on underneath the pretty photo's and well scripted about me paragraph. I bottled on a date about 2 hours before it was supposed to happen and I also used to freak out when guys wanted to talk on the phone. I just wasn't fully committed to the process. I meant no ill-intent.

I don't think you should change who you are, I think you should keep going on, keep being the person you are and eventually you will strike it lucky, just don't get disheartened by knock-backs as unfortunately internet dating sites are easily accessible and involve little investment (at least from a girls perspective) to get guys interested. There are genuine people on there.

PS- Please don't bash me, this was a tough period of my life and I have since sorted things out and am not dating currently.

MrNoLuck

Hey OP here,

Thanks everyone for the advice so far, you have all made excellent points and I'll be sure to put them to use, I wrote this post as I was feeling a bit down in the dumps after another rejection, but after reading all the posts I'm feeling much more positive, so thanks again everyone.