Children s Allowance & Drug Addict Mother

SOS1

Any ideas where I might go about finding out how I can stop my Wife from receiving our Childrens Allowance as she uses it for her drug addiction. I am a father of 5 and live on €199 P/W. She also receives half payment for the kids with her disability payments.With school just around the corner things are getting tighter and tighter.Any ideas appreciated Cheers

Penny Tration

SOS1 wrote: »

Any ideas where I might go about finding out how I can stop my Wife from receiving our Childrens Allowance as she uses it for her drug addiction. I am a father of 5 and live on €199 P/W. She also receives half payment for the kids with her disability payments.With school just around the corner things are getting tighter and tighter.Any ideas appreciated Cheers

Does she have custody? If she has them 50% of the time or more, she's the one who gets the allowance.

If she HAS got custody and is a drug addict - fcuk money, get to a solicitor and get your kids out of there.

power pants

all you need is joint guardianship to take your kids out the house and to live with you

Once that is done, then go about options for full custody

regarding family allowance, if they are living with you ie under joint guardianship, ring up welfare and inform them and request the payment is now made to you


if your wife/partner objects when you go to take your kids out of the house, do not back down. Joint guardianship allows you to do this as you are taking them out of a dangerours environment

good luck

SOS1

power pants wrote: »

all you need is joint guardianship to take your kids out the house and to live with you

Once that is done, then go about options for full custody

regarding family allowance, if they are living with you ie under joint guardianship, ring up welfare and inform them and request the payment is now made to you


if your wife/partner objects when you go to take your kids out of the house, do not back down. Joint guardianship allows you to do this as you are taking them out of a dangerours environment

good luck

We both live under the same roof .Although she is very rarely here. I have had numerous meetings with the Child Welfare or social worker in Lord Edward Street regarding her and recently they interviewed the children and it was there conclusion I was the primary care giver to the children despite her living here with me and the kids. Might head into the welfare officer on Monday to see if they can help (But you know what those are like) Wont hold my breath. Any more advice greatly appreciated Cheers

Lisha

Only advice I can think of sos1 is that you take detailed notes of every day. What you do with kids every day, what you spend on them and why. How you have to arrange childcare if yiu must work . (Also take notes on on what she does not do and how she is not available to be carer to them )
Basically just to prove that you are sole primary carer and so should have access to child benifit for children.
Best of luck op

power pants

keeping notes is fine but doesnt really do much either. You really need evidence such as who brings the kids to dr appointments and other appointments they have. If the mother is not bringing them this is neglect. You need to show you can and are able to make sure they get to appointments etc

You also need the social worker to visit more regularly as well, come past the house to see the mother and kids and what is going on and also visits that are not scheduled to see who else is in the house, what state the mother is in, the state the kids are in

If the situation is as you are saying, I doubt very much you should be living in the same house. Would be better for you and the kids to move out. If you are unwilling to do so and you are working during the day for example there is then always the risk the children will be taking into care

It is really worth finding things out for yourself and then formulating a plan


I know someone first hand who went through similar. He has no relatives or family in Ireland and works full time but took his child into his care full time and manages. Times can be tough regarding childcare and work but the main thing is the child is safe, happy and well looked after. This was over 6 years ago when the child was just a baby. It is a case of how hard you are prepared to fight for a situation you believe in

NipNip

I don't think a mother is being neglectful by having the father bring the children to appointments?

Penny Tration

NipNip wrote: »

I don't think a mother is being neglectful by having the father bring the children to appointments?

Did you miss the part about her being a frug addict, spending the children's allowance on drugs?

NipNip

It sounds to me like the op wants the children's allowance to be paid directly to him rather than to their mother.

NipNip

green_screen wrote: »

Did you miss the part about her being a frug addict, spending the children's allowance on drugs?

Let him prove it

power pants

NipNip wrote: »

I don't think a mother is being neglectful by having the father bring the children to appointments?

I didnt explain clearly enough

if there are letters coming in saying the child is missing X Y and Z appointments regarding the child and the Father is only after finding this out because he might be working all day then that is neglect

By the father then taking over the bringing to the appointments that is one way of demonstrating he is more capable of looking after the child.

power pants

NipNip wrote: »

Let him prove it

Literally impossible to do so. Social workers wont get involved with this part.

They are only interested in the welfare of the child as far as their safety goes

NipNip

power pants wrote: »

I didnt explain clearly enough

if there are letters coming in saying the child is missing X Y and Z appointments regarding the child and the Father is only after finding this out because he might be working all day then that is neglect

By the father then taking over the bringing to the appointments that is one way of demonstrating he is more capable of looking after the child.

The father is not working. He receives the dole

power pants

if they are legally living together in terms of claiming benefits it should be no problem at all to get this switched over

Not sure what the problem is then?

NipNip

power pants wrote: »

if they are legally living together in terms of claiming benefits it should be no problem at all to get this switched over

Not sure what the problem is then?

Someone has not believed him

Big Bag of Chips

NipNip, can you post in line with the charter and offer mature, constructive advice to the OP? Or don't comment.

As you know, Personal Issues is an advice forum, not a forum for general discussion.

Thank you.

SOS1

The Kids have never missed an appointment nor school from everything that goes on. If I cant do the appointment then I make sure she does ,But this only happens after I shame her into doing it. But my main concern is switching all social welfare into my name Inc the Child Benefit and the half payments for each child in our dole payments. I will be going into the social welfare tomorrow to try find where I stand on the whole situation...... Cheers

power pants

then there is no issue

if you and your partner are claiming benefits and living together legally, you can claim the benefits no problem at all then.

SOS1

power pants wrote: »

then there is no issue

if you and your partner are claiming benefits and living together legally, you can claim the benefits no problem at all then.

Thanks for your Input Its greatly Appreciated

SOS1

Just to let people know what my outcome is after many meetings and phone calls.
Well it all boils down to this "THE FATHER HAS NO RIGHTS WHAT SO EVER"
Tried every department of government that deals with Social Welfare payments and was pretty much told to F Off we dont want to know.My next course of action is through the courts , But I wont be holding my breath... SOS1

LegacyUser

Yep. There needs to be serious protests about fathers rights in the country. Feminists are all for equality until it comes to issues like these.

dudara

@deefour - please offer advice relevant to the OP.

dudara

jellyboy

Hi op

I would contact the social workers involved in your case and ask for a letter outlining there findings as your the primary carer

then reproach the agency and give them the letter, along side a letter from yourself stating that the money is not being used for the purpose intended

the agencies are playing relationship counsellors,(she said,he said etc etc)
what they need is cold hard facts ,

try not to bring emotion into it..