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Will I ever get over it?

  • 07-08-2014 12:54pm
    #1
    NewYork2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11 ✭


    So I went out with a guy for 3 years, We broke up about 2 months ago mutually, no matter how I try, I can't seem to get him out of my head or get over him! I tried to contact him 2 weeks ago but he said he wasnt the person I should be depending on anymore and not to contact him again and im devastated. Any advice?


Comments

  • #2
    gigglemuch82
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 66 ✭✭gigglemuch82


    He is right, he is not the person you should be depending on anymore. Your relationship is over and you should accept it and move on.

    It is hard - I know - but try to keep yourself busy and go out and try to have fun. Contacting him for support will make it harder for you to move on.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Give yourself a lot longer than two months to get your head straight. And though it may not seem like it now, he's done you a favour with that response.


  • #4
    pookie82
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,217 ✭✭✭pookie82


    NewYork2 wrote: »
    So I went out with a guy for 3 years, We broke up about 2 months ago mutually, no matter how I try, I can't seem to get him out of my head or get over him! I tried to contact him 2 weeks ago but he said he wasnt the person I should be depending on anymore and not to contact him again and im devastated. Any advice?

    You say you broke up mutually, so at least that's something... you both agreed it wasn't working and decided it was best ended, which is better than being dumped out of the blue when you thought all was going well!

    If you agreed to it then you must have acknowledged the flaws and this is something to cling to now, and NOT the happy memories that your brain insists on exclusively replaying in the early days!

    He's quite right and fair to ask for no contact and although it feels now like the end of the world, he's actually doing you a favour in the long run... long drawn out conversations in person or over text will only make you wallow in misery now as opposed to helping you move on.

    Take time now and again to grieve for what you have lost but do so in a controlled manner, i.e. give yourself half an hour a day/week to miss him or think about him and then after you've had a good cry, pick yourself up and go about your business. Over time you'll find yourself less and less needing that "time out" to grieve. Grieving is important but you also can't let it take over, so be more conscious of when you "allow" it. You'll be hit now and again out of the blue with a wave of emotion, just take deep breaths and try to calm yourself and say "I'll give this the attention it demands at the assigned time". Soon you'll realise it happens a little less every day.

    Look on it as a fresh start for you as opposed to an ending. Being in a LTR, even if it was a good one for the most part, makes you lose a lot of yourself. Learn what you're like now, 3 years on, as your own person, enjoy playing to just your own tune, watch movies you like, go places you choose, do anything and everything you can to stay busy, book a holiday to somewhere you've always wanted to see, and ENJOY the freedom of that. It's an amazing thing once you embrace it, the absolute freedom to be your own person again.

    Life is short - you have the chance to roll the dice all over again, try to find the excitement and possibilities in that, as opposed to the fear, and you'll get through it.


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