I don't want to write to my penpal anymore.

LegacyUser

I know this is a stupid problem compared to some of the more serious ones here but I would like some advice. I've been housebound for a while due to illness, and I got bored so I decided to get a penpal. I found one, and we've been writing for about 6 months or so. The problem is that I don't want to write to her any more. Her letters are very boring, they are all about her work, which I'm not interested in. I just skim through them. I also hate writing letters to her because my letters are boring too. I don't have anything to write about since I'm not doing anything. It's a real struggle to fill up even one page of A4. Another problem is that she sends me things through the post and expects me to reciprocate. She is always asking me to send her books, and the postage costs a fortune. She sends me things back but I don't even want the things she sends me. I don't want to write to her any more but I don't know what to do. I could just stop answering her letters I suppose but what if she thinks I'm still sending them and they've gotten lost in the post? She might keep writing to me. I could tell her I don't want to be her penpal any more and why, but that's mean. I could pretend I'm going into a nunnery but that's not very realistic. Any better suggestions?

P. Breathnach

Write her a short letter, telling her that your life has taken a new direction (no need to say what it is) and that you cannot continue the correspondence. Sign off in a friendly, but final, manner.

Do bear in mind that she might be a lonely or vulnerable person, so it would be good to exit graciously.

fussyonion

It's not an unusual problem, OP.

I've been penpalling since I was a kid and penpals come and go; such is life.
I have one penpal who writes once a year but it suits both of us as it means when we DO write, we have actual news and the pages can go on and on.
It makes for good reading.

I also had a penpal who I lost interest in. Her handwriting was so messy and she never had any news.
I just stopped writing and she never questioned why.

It would be polite to tell her your life's become busier and you can't commit to writing letters anymore. I probably should have done the same, but what I've done is done now.

tenifan

Op, here's an idea.. keep the penpal. She's obviously fairly reliable, which is a lot more than I can say for most people.
Now, take up a few hobbies. Try to have plenty to write to your penpal the next time you're due to send a letter. That way you won't have any more boring letters, and your penpal's letters might become a bit more interesting when she gets to know your interests a bit more.

Tramps Like Us

OP write to her and say you dont have the time ti write as frequently but that you would like to keep her as a pen pal, then only send letters once or twice a year

Lou.m

I volunteer for penpal duty! I don't send letters but I will email.

Listen she was there for you when you were ill and she was working. So that should count for something if someone had been with me through that I would not give them up for the world!

Perhaps you could email her instead and give yourself a time limit you will spend on her every two weeks. Say you are going to write for 15 mins and no more. Don't worry about the length of your letters or anything. Say you can't send her things though.


Or like the poster said above write four times a year or something.

You have to understand from her perspective you are very real to her and she has a relationship with you.

Failing that seriously pass her on! Email only though. That prop sounds really weird but any how. It's up to you.

I have some email correspondents and online I expect most of them to come and go. But you should always try and consider the other persons feelings.

If it is too much even to write once or twice a year then let her go very very gently. But bear in mind she was there for you when you were ill.

Lux23

So don't.