Not Sure on Whether to Drop Out or Not

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm in my first year of college studying film. A third of it is film theory, another third production and the rest is other modules such as languages (I'm doing French) and media stuff (photoshop, media history, etc). I like the production side and anything practical, but most of the time I hate the rest of it. I find myself skipping days where I only have one or two lectures on that don't take attendance, because I'd rather save the bus fare. I have friends, but we're in no way close. It's more-so that we need someone to hang out with, but we do have a good time during lunch.

I failed the theory module in December. I rarely attended so I didn't expect to pass, but I hated it so much that I couldn't bare attending. In the second semester I attended just under half the lectures, as that meant I had enough topics learnt to pass. The closer it came to the exam, the more I was sure that I was going to fail. I would spend eight hours at the table and could not concentrate in the slightest. It took at least an hour to read a page. It was like torture.

In December I was deadset on dropping out. I wasn't enjoying the semester much anyway and the thought was always kind-of there, so I was debating to drop out. Then when it came to studying I wanted to leave because I was so stressed and freaked and convinced I could not do it. I had a plan for what I would do each day of the week to help me build a career and what I could apply to do (internships, what shorts I wanted to make, etc). When I went back to college, I enjoyed it but I still skipped a lot of lectures for French and film theory, because I had no motivation to even get out of bed those days. I always felt my time could be spent better elsewhere.

With the repeats coming up, I can't studying. They're in two weeks and trust me, I'm trying but I can't do it. I'm reading and nothing is going into my head. I'm thinking that failing wouldn't be that bad, as I could take a year out and do all the things I wanted. I planned on making some films this summer, but stuff happened and I had to lend almost all of my savings for a good camera to my parents. I'll be getting it back in small sums monthly, but because I lost my job (I was a junior editor for a small company that had to let me go) I'll probably end up spending it on day-to-day livings now.

I'm at a loss of what to do. Two of my school friends dropped out of college in the first semester. One of them is (as she puts it) sitting at home on the couch all day on the dole. She applies for jobs but can't find anything, and has applied for a different course. Although I know that I won't end up doing nothing sitting on the couch all day (I've been writing all summer, getting work experience and working on projects), I know that my family won't see it that way and will put more pressure on me than there already is to find a job. Another problem is that I want to be fluent in French so that I can move there one day, so I really wanted to have a degree with French to help me get a job.

I'm going to repeat the exam as it's paid for already, but I'm unsure as to whether I should drop out. I only like a third of the course, so is there much point in me staying? My production modules all have great marks (60-71), so I feel a little better knowing that at least I'm good at that.

Rubberchikken

you want to build a career in film. you want to learn French.
to do these oyou have to work at them.
if the college course is not for you, then see if there's another way into the career you would like to have.
you don't need to speak French to go to France. You could learn it there.

only you can decide whether to drop out or not.
having a chat with your gp might be useful too. I realise you don't want to sit around all day doing nothing, and that maybe you went into the course not realising where your strengths lie, so if you got a chance to speak to someone in career guidance they might also have some words of advice.

take care.

metamorphosis

OP - I understand how hard it is when you do not like something, it can make it all drag out and seem torturous. What i will say though, is that there appears to be a bit of a 'victim' attitude here so to speak. You hate it thus you can't study thus you fail. Thing is is that you are responsible for your thoughts and actions and you are certainly not helping yourself. You can study but you chose not too because it takes focus on a different type of work that you like work. I get the impression that you thrive and enjoy the practical side. It sounds like your strengths are there. Thus, the theory is out of your comfort zone as you don't enjoy it and it takes a type of work that you are not pre-disposed to. That's fine but but means that it needs to be worked on and given chance and real effort. Your response is to say 'I can't, or to not go to class or to think to drop out.

This may not be the course for you but it appears that you like film, want to know French. Part and parcel of that in college will be to do modules you do not like and take an element of work that you are not naturally inclined to embrace. I would re think my thoughts and attitude on how to deal with things that require a different type of work. Weigh up the pros and cons of dropping out versus staying in in your course. Get your 'ducks in a row' so to speak rather than immediatly thinking you need to drop out of college as a port of call when things do not go to plan or if you do not like a section of your course.

Make a more informed decision after giving all your options a thought. You sound bright, so I know you will make the decision that is right for you